Dust free!

So, I have dusted off the old blog. Revamped it. How do you like my layout? I find it to be quite fitting to the new tone of the blog. I think it will stay a while.

I've had a very quiet, long weekend. I was struggling on Thursday. Got to work in the morning, completely overwhelmed. Sat in the change room with the lights off and listen to Taylor Swift's 'White Horse' and cried a little.

Was very lethargic all day. We had a full building afternoon tea, and I elected not to go. I wanted to sit and watch the mice play instead. I had just changed a small room, and was watching the mums settle down with their babies again. They have quite big litters you know. And the mums were spread out over their pups, like a big blanket of food. The pups were having a drink, nudging and pushing the mum, and she's just asleep through it all. One pup came up to its mum, and started sucking on her face. Sooo cute. It startled mum awake, and she washed the pup a bit, and went back to sleep. The pup curled into mum, and nibbled on her chin instead. Muchly cute. I'm glad I went in on Thursday, just for that moment.

Friday was a different story. My alarm went off. I snoozed it. Again. And again. And again. Finally I rang in sick. I couldn't be bothered getting out of bed. I slept through til 2pm. Best thing ever. I felt so much better. Then I headed out to get a doc's certificate. Easiest thing ever. All I have to do is tell them that I have depression, my medication is being adjusted, and I'm not doing well. No questions asked. Well, one question. 'How long do you want?'

I did a bit of cooking too. Mum likes it when I do that. 'Forward planning' she calls it. Made several batches of low carb lasagne, and froze some meatballs. I like to have heat and eat in the freezer, for when cooking is too much, or for when I don't have time to cook. They come in handy after training too. I can chuck something in the oven, go have a shower, and when I'm clean, dinner's ready.

Saturday was chilling at home. Washed my sheets and remade my bed. I fucking love my bed right now, but it deserves a post all of its own. And sent dirty texts to my booty call.

Today I cooked as well. I made cookies. Chocolate cookies with honeycomb chunks, and chocolate with trail mix. And florentines. My trainer 'disliked' that on facebook. I'm quite happy to say that I made ricotta balls first, which I ate, and then the cookies had no appeal. Yay me!

I am wearing sweat pants at the moment. Most of my jeans do not fit, and the ones that do are on the line. I hate that. But, being realistic, I cannot focus on my weight right now. I need to work on my depression. The good news is, I go through massive stages of not eating, so I guess that makes up for the crap that I consume. Right?

Oh, and I've started knitting to. Something to keep my hands busy. Plus, the cats enjoy it.

Back Again?

Dear Readers.

I am very, very sorry about my recent blogging performance. I stopped this blog to do a weight loss blog, lost a heap of weight, put even more back on, then stopped that one too.

I have been very sick lately. After the breakdown that I had in January, I am now under psychiatric care. I am medicated. I am having another breakdown. Last week I rang my psych, and had an impromptu visit. He doubled my meds. I did not get out of bed until 2pm today. From now on, this will be new type of blog. It will be about weight loss, and depression. It will be more serious, but it will also have those moments of light hearted insanity that you are all used to.

So stick around, over the next few days I aim to dust off this old blog, revamp it, and start posting again.

Kind Regards

Phish