Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Of zombie sheep and concussed pigs.

I had a moment the other day at work. Of terrifying shock. The drunk sheep that we had in were having surgery. And one of the poor buggers died on the table :(

So we had him in the fridge waiting for the body man to collect him. I’d completely forgotten about him when I went to go in the next day to throw something in the fridged bin. As I opened the door and walked into the dark coolroom, all I could see was these black legs extending out of the gloom. I glanced over and all I could see was this dead sheep, head back, stretched out with about a 5″ hole in the side of its chest, with its heart half hanging out, leads all over its chest and legs.

I nearly shat myself. You know in those zombie/vampire/slasher flicks where the chick gets the crap scared out of her by something creepy, but trivial, and then gets killed? That’s what it felt like. The first thing I did was turn around and yell at my supervisor.


So I was walking through one of the areas where we have a few pigs in. The radio was on and I was singing. Now, I’m so not Oz Idol material, I know that, but if the music is loud enough I just figure that it will drown it out. Apparently I’m very wrong about that.

As I was walking up, one of the pigs spooked, and ran around his pen for a bit. I walked over to his pen to calm him down.

Well he totally flipped. He spun around and ran outside so fast that smacked himself into the steel door on the way out! I had to go in to see how he was doing. As I walked in he froze at the far end of the outside bit. I crouched down and spoke quietly to him until he began to approach me. All of a sudden it was like he went ‘oh, its you!’ He cruised over and began to chew on my overalls like nothing had happened.

Working with animals is never boring.

  1. Do you really think the pig was freaking out because of your singing? That’s funny…

  2. Okay, that pig was totally being a pot calling the kettle “dirty bottom” I mean, Pigs can’t sing for shit either… I should know, I’ve seen Babe… twice!

    As for zombie sheep… Blerk - creepy. I don’t think its ever a good idea to see the insides of something (living or dead) from the outside. I would have yelped too!

  3. Why was the sheep drunk…
  4. Maybe he could smell the death… or maybe it’s cos of the full moon!!

    Sorry you got freaked out.

    That would scare the heebie jeebies outa me too.

  5. I hang out with pigs where I work too. Ha! *ahem*
  6. This is why I like working with teenagers… some similarities, though…
  7. Perhaps I’m weird, but I much prefer being around lambs than sheep (alive or dead) and piglets to pigs.
  8. I don’t know what would be creepier, a zombie sheep or a zombie pig. I can deal better with the undead when they’re docile and wooly. A pig is already close to the undead anyway, since they’re not terribly picky when it comes to what they eat. I’m sure a pig would eat one’s brains if given a chance.
  9. Sounds like a traumatic job.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


A few months back I met a blogger. Not an online meet where we read each others diaries. A real meet up, where we got to see and smell and touch each other. Ok. So we didn’t touch each other the first time, but we do now. And not in that way.

Anyhoo, the first time we met I told him which approximate area I lived in. You know, you don’t want to tell them too much in case they turn out to be type of person who makes you glad you don’t have pet bunnies. And he told me that he had friends who lived in a penthouse apartment on my street. I laughed and said something along the lines of ‘it wouldn’t be my apartment block, it’s too small.’

Recently we met up again for dinner, coffee and a movie. After a nice dinner and a chat about his penis over coffee, we went to see Iron Man. Fantastic movie. Some serious hotness right there, with a sense of humour too. Noice. But it was quite a long movie and by the time it got out it was a tad late to be walking the streets by myself. So I begged a lift home. And as I directed him the the Xth building on the right in my street he laughed. Turns out that yes, his friend does live the floor up from me, in my tiny apartment block.

I so could add a cliche right here.

  1. Who is it?!

  2. I loved Iron Man. I want me an RDJ!
  3. I haven’t seen Iron man yet. I must be the only one left. Even my mommy has seen that movie.
  4. Okay so it’s a coincidence that you live in the same building as his friends… Whatever. More importantly, whats he like in the sack and describe, in detail please, his cock!

    Oh God, I think I might be in a shit stirring mood, too bad for my co-workers hee hee. Anyway enough about me… Make with the sexing stories. Um, Please.

  5. Yeah, do tell! I want to know how good the sexin was too.

    How funny would it be to bump into his friends when you were with him? Small world eh?

  6. Small world indeed!

    Although, I don’t require any of the “extra” details. Your commenters are crackers!

  7. I wanna know detail too. Does he have nice teeth?
  8. Teeth are almost as important as a nice cock.
  9. So who is this mystery blogger?
  10. OHHHHHHHHH, I just love things like this… meant to be and all that rot! Can’t wait to hear more!
  11. Size / niceness is once again relative! :)
  12. Jacob - I never kiss and tell!

    Bunny - I think there’s enough RDJ to go around.

    Joshua - it was quite a good movie. Bet you’ve seen it by now though. I’m so slack with comments :P

    Kez - I have actually seen his cock before this. Twcie in fact.

    Josh - some things are best left up to the imagination.

    AMC - yeah, too much detail can just ruin the story sometimes.

    Fanny - his teeth would even satisfy you!

    Smack - Last I heard you did appreciate his cock.

    MissD - I never kiss and tell.

    Prof - I could just imagine if he visited those friends before we met, and if we bumped into each other in the elevator.

    Josh - It’s always relative!

  13. LoL…In fact I have seen it by now! Well I think it was last week. But I’ve been slacking too so it’s ok. :)

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Moving on

Ok. I’m not wallowing any more. I was intending to put up another post but I didn’t get around to it. I have no excuse. I’ve been slack.

So moving away from wallowing…

Where I’m working now we’ve got some sheep. We had some sheep in to check on. We only needed one but we had to have two, cuz you can’t leave them alone. They get stressed if they’re by themselves. So some other guys were checking the sheep in question, and its friend was left alone for a few hours. And it called. And called. And called.

It sounded very much like the drunk guy that you see outside the nightclub at 3 am. You know, the one that is so drunk he has been ejected from the club, and is sitting sprawled against a wall, possibly with a little vomit smeared down his front. He’s so drunk he can’t even talk. All he can do is make some kind of growling, choking, zombie sound. Well that was what this sheep sounded like. And after ever ‘baa’ (for want of a better onomotopia) I kept waiting for the following words…

‘ya gots noice tits!’

The bane of my existance. Waiting for a lonely sheep to tell me the obvious.

5 comments to “Moving on”

  1. Sometimes my cat makes the most god-awful yowling that sounds like it’s come from within the deepest parts of his stomach. It scares the shit out of me every time he does it because it sounds like he’s dying. It’s taken us about a year to work out that it means he’s bored and wants to play.

    Chin up about the crapness you’ve recently been dealt. xx

  2. HAHAHAHAH. Jolly good laugh just then. Fabulous post chickie.
  3. I’d be terribly excited if a sheep told me I had noice tits, then again if a drunk guy outside a club with vomit on his shirt said the same thing, I’d probably be just as happy!
  4. Life is too short to wallow so get on with it and then get happy. I am sorry about the whole job demotion but sounds like my situation where in the long run it is a good move. You do know that the best job in the world ain’t nothin’ but work and that my friend is a 4 letter word for sure!
  5. He was just wanting to get flocked up. :)