Wednesday, January 25, 2012


Its always nice when you look in the mirror and realise you've lost weight.

Monday, January 23, 2012

If you don't mind me saying...

I don't understand the appeal of haiku.

Friday, January 20, 2012

First weights session

This is the first 3 workouts at my gym. That third one, that's the weights sedation I have just completed. And I'm especially proud. The lighter line is the expected workout. The other one is the recorded workout.

The reason I'm proud is that 1) I did more than expected, and 2) NOT ALL OF MY SESSION WAS RECORDED! My warm up and one while weights machine weren't recorded, and there were several times when the weight recorded was less than I lifted.

Friday, January 13, 2012


Ok. First week on, and I've been slack. I've been too sore to train since Monday. Plus busy as hell. Today was going to be a training day, but I'm spending it on the couch, in my jammies.

I WILL go tomorrow, or I will post a picture of my naked thighs. Which I really don't want to do since I hate them :/

Instead, I shall tell a story.

When I was in year 12, we went out planting trees for an afternoon. I know, a riot of fun right?!? Well it was. I don't care if we were all young adults. We got to spend an afternoon off, running around in a paddock and NOT doing schoolwork.

The bonus was, it was in my home town. Which was a half hour bus trip to school. All the kids in my town went home when the tree planting ended. An hour and a half early. Win.

When it came time to leave, we were told that, because of some legal bullshit, the bus was not allowed to stop to let us off. Instead, it was smarter and more responsible to get us to WALK the 2 to 6 kilometers back to our respective homies. Being from the country, it wasn't that big a deal, but still.

My house was the closest. I nominated everyone to go there, have a drink (of coke, G rated back then) and call someone to come pick them up.

As luck would have it, there were roadworks going on right out the front of my place. We got back to my place, cracked a cold one, and went out to make a suggestion to lollipop guy.

Remember that bus that wasn't allowed to stop to let us off. We stopped it. Right out the front of my house. We made it sit there for 5 minutes in the heat while we drank our cold, refreshing beverages. And our strict Catholic school teachers sat at the front and could only fume at us, with our shirts untucked, our top buttons undone, our ties down (or off), and our jumpers around our waists. EPIC Win.

While one teacher in particular looked like he was about to have an anneurism, our classmates laughed.

Still cracks me up.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

iHurt 1.0

Today was my first gym session in about 2 years.

2 years ago, I was a size 10 - 12. With a 70 cm waist. Today my thighs measure 80cm each :/

I refuse to know my weight. I will only know it when I start feeling and seeing results.

I got a training program written up for me. About an hour of cardio, spread through various machines. I started on the cross trainer, and felt like this when I got off...

So I did 10 minutes on the treadmill, cooled down and went home.

It. Was. AWEsome!!!

Monday, January 09, 2012

Baby Steps

I have secured the 2 greatest portions of my weight loss success last time around. 

  1. A subscription to Womens Health Magazine. Arrives monthly and provides mush inspiration to keep working out.
  2. A gym membership.
Its on....

Sunday, January 08, 2012

I feel pretty, oh so pretty...

Anyone who denies the existance of their ass hair is an ignorant fuck.

Last night I got massively drunk. So drunk in fact, that I woke up this morning with the taste of stale beer and garlic pizza in my mouth (diet fail), and checked the bed for 'accidents'. Thats only funny cuz there weren't any. Win!

Anyhoo, I hit the shower to make myself feel human again. I scrubbed everything, shaved and moisturised, and treated my hair. And whilst I was lady-scaping, I decided to reach back and shave my arse hair.

Now, I don't have a lot of arse hair. Just a few strands. About as much as a pubescent boys nipple hair. Not enough to really require shaving, but I do it anyway. Just to complete the baby smoothness.

It used to be quite easy to get rid of said strands. Reach back, spread cheeks with one hand, razor with the other. Hope not to nick myself. But since I've become more rotund, that just doesn't work anymore. I can't get two hands back there. So to spread the cheeks (as best I could, I had to kinda crouch down and bend over, legs spread but knees in, all in my tiny shower cubicle. And still hope not to nick myself.

And I discovered something quite strange. I'm a ranga butt. My arse hair is (was?) a lovely shade of  light copper. Go figure. Naturally, I'm an ashy auburn colour. My bikini line is dark brown/black. My arse... ranga. If I had that colour on my head, I'd shave it off too.

Well, I'm human now. No more ranga butt for me!