Friday, March 30, 2007


I have big plans for tonight. Just me and him.

I'm going to cook a lovely dinner. Maybe with candle light to set the mood. But maybe not. I don't want to put any pressure on him. Don't want him to think I want him to feel something he doesn't. Maybe I'll open a bottle of wine. White, not red, to ease the nerves.

He's not a big talker. Conversation might be a bit stilted. Almost like talking to myself. But I'm used to that sort of thing. To find an intellectual equal sometimes a girl must talk to herself.

Maybe I'll put on some music to get us through it. I'm thinking something like John Farnham. Nothing like serenading your loved one with 'Sadie the Cleaning Lady' to set the mood.

And after dinner, I've got quite a selection of movies to set the mood. Maybe we'll sit on the couch together. But probably not cuddling. He doesn't seem like a cuddler.

And when we're ready, we'll move to the bedroom. Where we will most likely celebrate our love.

And afterwards I'll wash him and put him in the drawer where he belongs, with the others of his kind.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Blast from the past...

I was so bored the other night. And I had an absolute buttload of credit left on my phone cap and it was due to expire the next day.

So I trawled my phone book looking for someone to call. And I happened upon Candy. For those who watch Scrubs, Candy reminds me (forcibly) of Jill Tracey. With the exception that she is neither irritating or high strung. And she doesn't have that high pitched voice. And Candy is what I would call beautifully curvy, not unlike myself. She calls herself a "fat c*nt". I disagree. I think she's one of the most beautiful people I've ever met.

I haven't spoken to her for about a year or so. We exchanged emails every now and again - usually funnies. Never catch ups.

I honestly don't know why I still had her number in my phone. But I did. So I called her.

And she was kinda stunned to be getting a call from me out of the blue.

We didn't talk about anything in particular. But sometimes its a comfort to your soul to hear the voice from fun times long gone.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

But the box promised me

How does this

Resemble this?

Friday, March 23, 2007

My favourite quote

"I imagined he was a strawberry, and I picked him up, put him on the floor... and I squashed him"

~ A workmates 11 year old daughter, on her male friend.

I love this girl.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

What do you think of me?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Missed chance #1146

I had my job interview today. It was ok. Not great, not bad. Just ok. I normally interview quite well. At the moment I honestly can take or leave my current job. Married Man is being really awesome about it. He thinks I honestly have a shot at moving up into a job similar to his.

We'll see in the next few days.

I ran into one of the guys from dancing as I was leaving work. My God he's such a cutie. He doesn't come to dancing anymore. Well, not for this term. We hugged and had a quick chat. He's started his internship as a surgeon now. So he's working 12 to 16 hours a day. I knew it was full on, but to hear it out of the mouth of someone you know...

He's looking great for working so hard though. He says he loves it. I'm sure I would.

He complimented me on my hair. And I told him I put a rinse through (to tone it down) for my job interview. He asked how it went. I told him. Then there was this awkward pause. And he had to go one way, I the other.

I would have told him to give me a call except he doesn't have my number. And after he'd gone I wish I'd told him to call me at work and we'd arrange to meet up for lunch. He doesn't know my work number but it would be very easy for him to find, and since our workplaces are close to each other we could easily catch up for lunch on our breaks.

I wish, but I didn't.

Monday, March 19, 2007

I'm so angry with my supervisor right now.

I have a job interview this week. Hooray for me right?

Apparently not!

When the interview was arranged last week I went and saw my boss and arranged to have a half day off. By choice I elected to not have the full day. Work still goes on, and Wednesdays are no exception.

My boss seemed a little disheartened. Which made me feel like a bitch because he's a great guy and an awesome boss. But he accepted it and told me to fill out a leave form. Which I did.

Today my supervisor comes up and tells me that my leave should have been approved through him first. I told him that I went to the boss-man as soon as I found out I needed time. Supervisor asked what I needed time off for. I told him I needed to do something in the city. He asked what. I told him I had a job interview. He clammed up and left.

Walking down the corridor a bit later and he catches sight of me. And he comments 'We just bought overalls for you'. I replied 'I told you I was still looking'. Which was true. He asks me if I went for the job at *insert name here*. I told him yes. And he starts to tell me that the facilities at the place I applied were substandard 'catacombs with no windows'. Then he tells me that he's being really positive about all of this.

I get what I need from the store room and return to my work area. Where he is telling two of my co-workers about my interview. Two co-workers that I didn't want to know. They start commenting on how the director was full on and would have me writing scientific papers. Which I would love.

I told three people at work. I chose to not tell anybody else because I'd look like a real dick if I didn't get the job. My choice was to look like said dick, or be the bitch for not telling them.

I figured that everyone would know about the interview by the end of the day. So regardless I'd look like a dick. I told.

I feel like I was forced into it. I feel like my supervisor is trying to convince me to stay, by telling me how good I have it there, and how bad everything else is at the other place. I feel like I'm nothing more than a bit of gossip. I want to be able to make up my own mind. Before today I know I would have had a heart wrenching choice to make, if I was even offered the job. But now....

Its different now.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Bits of stuff

This last week has been pretty full on. And when I say pretty I mean ugly. One staff member is on holidays, one has been away sick. Monday I was the only staff member for my department at work. Another had called in sick and one was on a rostered day off.

For the maths people thats five staff members normally. But only me on Monday.

Monday and Tuesday are our busiest days. And with our work we can't really put anything aside for later. The weeks work has to be done.

I ended up asking some others who share our department to help out. And that was the overall tone for the week. Furiously busy. We sat when we could. Wolfed down our food during breaks and used the rest of the time to discuss work matters.


By Thursday I was waking up grinding my teeth. When I went shopping I was grinding my teeth. Friday at work I was grinding my teeth.

The two biggest signs of a stressed Phishy - grinding teeth and stuttering. The former happens in acute situations and the latter on chronic situations.

I went out last night with the Gay Biotch. To a straight club. I haven't ground my teeth today. My jaw hurts. Feels like its been wrapped around a big doodle for about three hours. But I feel better in myself. I need to clean up, but more than that I need to relax. So it can wait.

I had (low fat) waffles for dessert. With (low fat) English toffee ice cream and caramel topping. I wish I had Nans recipe for caramel sauce (hint hint Jana). That would be absolutely yumm-o.

I have two very important posts coming up in the next week. Maybe not very important. But one is a 'WTF' post, unless it gets sorted. The other... relates to this post.


This towel,
Draped across me,
Fits to every curve,
Moulds to my body.

Warm and soft,
Wrapped around me.
Comfortable as my own,
Sensual as another's,
It is a second skin.
Warms and protects my senses.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Life under my rock

Its pretty damn dark, I tells ya!

I have never seen Pretty Woman before. I've seen some bits and pieces, and know the quotes etc. But never sat down and really watched it. I feel so deprived.

Mum! How could you let me be so neglected???

Until today. Kmart is having a DVD sale. So I went along and picked up a few goodies. Searching for another movie that I also love, I saw Pretty Woman. And I thought... its a classic. Even if I don't like it as much as everybody else, it might be entertaining in my collection for someone else. So I picked it up.

And watched it when I got home.





I've only gotten up to the scene at the restaurant. And I completely heart this movie.

That scene reminds me of the first time I ever ate lobster. I was at a restaurant at Darling Harbour. So classy the waiter actually puts the napkin on your lap. And I had to get the person I went with to instruct me on how to eat this damn thing! I was almost at the point where I was going to hand my plate across to her so she could get the damn meat out for me!

Oh. And I found possibly the most gorgeous pair of shoes I've ever laid eyes on. But they didn't have them in my size :(

But the store in Canberra does and they're going to try to get them sent up for me :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Banality and Sex... who'd've thunk it?

How funny are 69 jokes?

I was doing some basic math at work today. And I had to add 46 and 23. And when I saw the result I actually smirked and did a mental giggle. I'm 23 FFS! And then I turned to Married Man, who was concentrating on his work at the bench beside me, and out of the blue said "Does 69 ever become unfunny?"

He just twitched and looked at me. I don't think he was expecting that.

And apparently I have a life time of laughing at a number ahead of me.


I think there is a prostitute living in my building.

She would be in her mid 30's I guess. Maybe a bit older. I wouldn't say she's beautiful or pretty, but she's definitely not unattractive. She drives a penis extension car, and fuck me dead she dresses skanky! Skanky to the max with a little bit of 'are you wearing pants' mixed in. Complete with see through clothes for 'work'.

And yes. I'm serious about the wearing pants. My tortured eyeballs have witnessed it.

I don't find her choice to be a worry to me. I find it to be hellishly entertaining.

For instance, today we were in the lift together and she told me that it seemed like she'd done twice the normal amount of work today.

I couldn't actually form words. My brain was laughing so hard.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Cut or Uncut?

Its a big question. Do you like your snags with their skin off or skin on? Most Penis fanatics that I talk to seem to have a preference for cut, or no preference at all. I have never met someone who prefers uncut.

At this point I'd like to put some background to this topic. Where I work, we have our main group who are a pack of bitch faced cunts. Nah, I'm only kidding. Only one of them is.

And then there are the people that each individual team member works with individually. Whatawaste and Married Man are two of mine. They only work in areas that are my responsibility.

One of the older gals who works in another persons area was in today. And I started chatting to her. The topic of discussion was the collection of tissue for genetic testing. She had to genotype some animals that will be used as breeders, but they are beyond the age where they can just have a small sample taken. So she had to take them away, anaesthetise them, take a tiny tiny piece of skin, recover them, and bring them back. Lot of hassle. Then she compares it to circumcision. Saying its not more painful when your young. Which is quite a valid point.

And then the discussion went very far away from work. Apparently circumcision has medical benefits. There is a very aggressive form of cancer that guys can get. And it is prone to all kinds of infections if they aren't up to scratch with hygiene. And sometimes the foreskin doesn't grow during early childhood, and things can get quite... tight down there. It can harden, which I imagine would be uncomfortable.

We both seemed to be avoiding the ultimate - it looks better and makes the sex one hell of alot of fun! Guys are more sensitive when they're cut.

I have a clear preference for cut for those reasons. To me a penis is a recreational object. So I don't have to worry about the medical side of it. If it looks clean and feels better then give ti the fuck to me.

Having said that, I'm not going to turn a guy away because he's uncut. Nor am I going to pick a guy based on wetger he wears a hoodie or a turtleneck. but guys who are cut get more head.

So, ladies and gents. Your turn. Cut or uncut?

Sunday, March 11, 2007


A = Available ~ Availability is in the eye of the beer holder
B = Best Friend ~ The voices in my head
C= Cake or pie ~ Both
D = Drink of choice ~ Bourbon.
E = Essential item you use everyday ~ Oxygen
F = Favorite color ~ Red
G = Gummy bears or worms ~ Have you ever put these in a glass of water?
H = Hometown ~ Very Far away
I = Indulgences ~ Every day
J = January or February ~ They're both months
K = Kids and Names ~ I thik they should all have one.
L = Life is incomplete without? ~ The letter L
M = Marriage date ~ Preferably date before marrage
N = Number of siblings ~ I'm too young to think about kids now
O = Oranges or apples ~ They grow on trees
P = Phobias or Fears ~ Are these any different?
Q = Favorite Quote ~ Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak
R= Reason to smile ~ Why not?
S = Season ~ is a 6 letter word
T = Tag 3 or 4 people ~ Does it matter?
U = Unknown fact about me ~ on this blog... none
V = Vegetable you don't like ~ coma people have ZERO personality
W = Worst habit ~ picking my nose and eating it
X = X-rays ~ Dorky but fun
Y = Your favorite food ~ isn't in my tum tum
Z = Zodiac Sign ~ Grrr

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Phishy's Creature Feature

My Cats are Strange.


We also have a new 'pet'. A Cockatoo I've nicknamed Cheeky.

I found him sitting on the balcony rail this afternoon, nibbling on the fairy lights. I walked up to him. Got to about three feet from him, and he tried to fly off. With the still attached light in his beak. Cheeky bugger.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

When I was a kid

  • When I was a kid pretty much every photo that was taken of me showed my underwear. I have a beautiful picture of me with my sisters cat, in a nurses outfit, with yellow underwear. Some things never change.

  • When I was a kid I had a massive crush on Jonathan Brandis. He was teh shit in Seaquest DSV. He's the only actor I've ever written a letter to. I wanted to use scented paper, but we had none, so I sprayed a heap of pink paper with some perfume. I rejected about 10 pieces because they had 'driplets' on them. I even wrote a draft. And I literally just learnt that he died.

  • When I was a kid I once peed in my shoe. We were on a farm somewhere (I think) and I had squatted down to take a leak. When you're wearing slides and you do such a thing your heels come out of your shoes. I didnt realise until I stood up again. "Mum my toes are wet" kind of thing.

  • When I was a kid I once cut my hair in class. I was flirting with my very first crush and he dared me. And then he cut his hair, and I cut mine again etc etc. I ended up with no fringe on the left side of my face. I don't remember Mums reaction, but my teacher was horrified.

  • When I was a kid I used to love to climb trees. Still do in fact.We used to climb the tree in the back yard and walk about on the carport. I was devastated when they cut off the branch we used to get up. Even though it was to make space for Nan to come live in the back yard.

  • When I was a kid I was 'engaged'. My first boyfriend was a friend of the family. I was about five or six, and we used to play 'motorbikes' at recess. Or kiss chasey.

  • One day we were visiting said boy and all us kids went for a walk. On the way up the back lane (not a metaphor, no jokes here please) we went past their feral neighbours house. The feral neighbour threw a chunk of wood at me and it hit on on the scalp line, on my right forehead. A few of the boys headed off after this asshat, and the rest of them followed pretty quickly when they saw I was bleeding.

  • My first 'kiss' was with a boy named Jamie, who's dad owned the produce store around the corner from Mum and Dads shop. Me, my brother and sister, Jamie were playing in the grass at the back of the superarket my parents owned. My sibings egged us into it. I was about five. And no. It wasn't a pash. Just a lip to lip kiss, kinda like you'd kiss your sister.

  • Whenever we visited anyone when I was a kid you could guarantee that after routine hello's I'd be straight out with the animals, playing with dogs, or curled up with the cats on someone's bed.

  • When I was a kid I never wanted to wear a bra. We had a techer at high school that had HUUGE hanging knockers. Picture a EE, but at her bellybutton. My sister told me that if I didn't wear a bra I would end up with boobs like hers. I've worn a bra almost every single day since then.

  • One of my friends from pre-school was my Agriculture buddy in Years 11 and 12. Together we topped the class. One of my besties to this day went to Primary school with me. Even though half way through Primary school I moved interstate and didn't see her until High School, where we ended up being satellite friends of the same group. She lived in England for a year or two, and I've moved interstate twice since then.

  • And last but very not least, when I was very young I had a bout of diarrhoea. It was pretty full on, but I was fascinated by how much there was! The next day I went up to a guy (of about 16) who worked at my parents shop, and told him 'Dood, I had diarrheoa last night and it was thiiis much', while at the same time cupping both hands together to show him. To this day my brother hangs shit on me for it. All he has to do is cup his hands and give that evil, evil grin, and I start screaming obscenities at him. Buut now that I've blogged it, he's got nothing on me. NOTHING!!!

I haven't changed much have I?

Seeing as this was a tag, I shall also tag.

And I choose...






Minimum 10 dot points about you, as a kid.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

"The Games We Play" and other stories

Well. He came into work today. The first time I've seen him since he told me about his girlfriend. And on the surface nothing has changed. He used to have me assist him, but since I was completely flat out today, and while I was away he had to do the work himself, I let him work alone. He came down just before we left. Just before I got changed from my oversized, unflattering overalls, into my slamming hot dress. And just before I left, I made sure to go talk to him about locking up. I just 'happened' to open the door all the way, which just 'happened' to give him a full view. And then I just 'happened' to walk away, without him seeing how big that dress makes my butt look!!!

If you're gonna fuck with someone, make sure you wear protection.

I'm NOT going to make this a long term mind fuck. I do still like the guy, and I would like to keep this as a friendship. But he led me on, so I'm gonna make him twist in the wind. Just for a little while.

Have you ever had a brain fart? When your brain randomly puts something together in a bubble and pops it an inopportune time? I had one of them today. It was a memory-fart.

When I was in year seven we had an assignment for science. We had to take some force (gravity, inertia etc), research it and make a presentation based on it. My group had inertia. I remember that. One group, consisting mostly of girls I went to primary school with, had static electricity. And they made a song. For some reason today, this memory fart popped and released it. I choose to share here.

(To the tune of "With a girl like you")

I want, to spend my life, with electrostatic.
And, get zapped all day, in the windy weather

Get-ting zapped is fun
Come on and join in everyone
Getting zapped by static


I'm still having problems using ANY javascript button in blogger. My apologies. I really want to comment on everybody's blogs, but I just can't.

My love to you all.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Married Man

There is a guy at work. I shall call him Married Man. For obvious reasons. He's attractive, has a wild past (so he'd be good at the sexin), but is considerate, fun and really good to talk to. I have a crush on him. And I'm quite enjoying it. I know its not going to go anywhere, and its nice to get along so well with a guy who is actually mature. Plus I flirt like I breathe.

My current job is pretty basic. And boring. And I'm having problems with some of the 'team' where I am at the moment. I want to move up to a position where I can actually use my brain. A position similar to what he has. Even before what happened with Whatawaste, I wanted to talk to Married Man about it. I'm not sure why him over the other, when I can just as easily talk to Whatawaste. But I wanted to discuss it with Married Man. Now I know its because Married Man would be more honest with me.

It came up in conversation today at work. Began with small living areas, then went to college dorm rooms (naturally), and we began talking about my qualification. I told him that I'd eventually like to move up into a position similar to his, buuut every job ad I've seen requires someone with experience with certain techniques, and a full bachelor of science. And Married Man tells me that most people that he works with actually don't hold a straight BSci. Most of them have applied degrees. I might not know some of the stuff that they request, but I do know the theory and most of it is actually learnt on the job. Plus there is nothing that I can't do with the animals.

So I'm feeling really good right now. Huzzah for me!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

M-m-Mardi Gras!!!

Yes. It is that time of year. When Sydney gathers together and turns gay. And being quite a dedicated fag hag I joined in. Me, the roomie, and the gay biotch went to the parade.

OMG. It was fantasmic.


I'm such a fag hag.

What are the odds that, of the half a million people lining the streets, I'd meet up with a guy that I knew (as a friend of a friend) in High School. Two states and about 7 years ago. And that we would remember each other. Apparently pretty fucking good. Might go buy me a lottery ticket!

I left early though. I'm not too good with crowds. I need room to dance, wasn't interested in drinking and am straight - so nil chance of picking up. There was also the fact that it would have been me and the gay biotch, and he had already stated that he wouldn't pick up if it meant that someone would be left alone. Thats so considerate. Buuut since it was Mardi Gras I didn't want to get in his way. So I headed off when my housemate did.

Her boyfriend was picking us up at Pyrmont, so we decided to walk there. That was a smart move... NOT!!!

On the 'Gras side of Hyde Park no-one blinked at two flutterbye girls walking toghether. But once we got to the other side... fuck you could pick the stragith guys. Mostly by the double takes and the stares. There were three guys, just near Darling Harbour, that were waiting for the lights to change. Guy #1 galnces up at us, stops and stares. Guy #2 turns to Guy #1 to say something, looks in the same direction, stop snad stares. Guy #3 turns to Guys #1 and #2, sees them staring at soemthing, look s in our direction, stops and stares. And as we walk past them, they turn as one, tracking us. Picture the clown game at the carnival, the one where you put ping pong balls into their mouths and win a prize. It was like that, the way they all turned their heads at the exact same speed. Very creepy. One of them tried a wolf whistle. Didn't quite work. Waay to drawn out for a start, and had to stop and take a breath between 'woot' and 'woo'!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

I don't know what it is, but blogger can take my loooong list of comments and stick it up its clacker. Sideways!

I haven't been able to responf to comments left on my blog in... at least 3 posts. I type them out and hit send but it just doesn't work! And now I can't even comment on other peoples blogs! Gaah!!

Rest assured I am still visiting the same blogs with the same frequency. Some things will never change. I'm just pissed off that some of my fantastic and witty comments have refused to be shared with everybody. Maybe they weren't that good.

I'm playing with the comments settings to see if they do anything. Besides that... maybe a switch to another blogging meduim.

GAAAHHHH!!!! It just did the same thing with this post!!!!!