Sunday, September 30, 2007

One talented lover

We'd been texting each other all afternoon. I hadn't seen him in quite a while. Well, I had seen him around, but I hadn't had him to myself. I had just moved into my new place and finally gotten settled.

Those texts, they were damn hot. And very explicit. Telling me exactly what he was going to do to me tonight. How he was going to make me scream and cum. To my end, I had replied just the same. I told him, just as explicitly, that I wanted to fuck him in every room of the house. Just hearing that little groaning 'yeah?' was all the approval I needed. I wanted to tease him, make him hard, but he was at work. I'd have to save that trick for another time. I had the place to myself. I hadn't found a roomie yet, so there were no limits to what we could do. And I told him just that.

He rang when I was in the shower. He was still at work and I was getting ready. I had literally only shaved one leg when the phone rang. I turned off the water and answered it. He wanted directions. I complained that he was going to be early. I wasn't yet ready. He said he was still at work, but he would be coming straight over. I whispered some naughty words in his ear. He couldn't respond. But I could hear in his voice that he loved it.

I finished shaving my legs and dried. Making sure to moisturise every inch of my body. I wanted to be as smooth as possible for him. I wanted to feel his warm skin sliding effortlessly over mine. I selected my underwear carefully. Red. Bright red. Very hot. My clothes were selected a bit less carefully. I wanted to look good, but we both knew that it wouldn't be on for very long.

I set a dvd on to wait for him. It wasn't all that long before I got the text. 'Leaving work now. Fuck you soon.'

I waited by the door with the outside light on. I saw headlights pull into my court. They slowed and finally pulled into my drive. I waited still, heart pounding. I heard the engine wind down. The door opened and he stepped out of the car. God he was hot. My god, the sight of him was enough to make we weak at the knees and damp in the panties. He was tall, well over six feet. With curly black hair. I loved running my fingers through his hair, and giving it a little tug. His eyes were blue. So clear, like ice. They saw straight through me. Though it wasn't hard to see what I wanted. He was lean. Just the way I liked. I don't like muscle bound, nor do I like fat. I want to be able to feel whats under his skin, without anything in the way. I stepped outside into the balmy night as he slammed the car door.

'Hello,' I drawled. Slow and sexy. I like the way it feels to talk when I'm horny. The words form slowly and slip out of my mouth, like they don't belong to me. Like they belong to the other, and they're being made especailly for him. And he says it back. Just the same. 'Hello,' like this was a normal encounter and he was just popping in to say hi, and get a look around the new place.

I love the way he walks. He knows I like seeing what he's got, and he knows how to walk to show it off. I guess a modelling career will teach you that. But there's more to him than his walk. He has a presence that makes me tingle in all the right places. And some of the wrong ones too. He steps towards me and I can smell him. Just having him so near me makes me wet. He holds my gaze for half a second outside, in the doorway. I refuse to back down. If he was two inches closer we'd be touching. I stretch upwards and give him a vicious kiss, with lots of tongue and lip action. But its brief. I pull away and reach for the door. 'Let's go inside, shall we?'

He follows me inside and we kiss in the doorway again. He throws me against the wall roughly and I shudder as he kisses me. Its easily the most intense, vicious, passionate kiss I've ever had. His hands are on either side of me, holding me exactly where he wants me, one arm running next to my side and lying against the wall. The other gently but firmly moves over my breast. He's so close to me. His whole body is hard up against mine. While we express ourselves I take the chance to explore him. I run my hand down his body and find him. He's hard. Fuck, is he hard. And he's big, maybe even a little too big. Lovely, thick and long. I run my hand up and down him, caressing him through his pants. I love doing this. It builds expectations. I guess he loves it when I do it too. At later stages he'd just pull it out the moment he got in the door. God that used to shit me. I love finding it, and unveiling it. Even though when its that big, its not hard to miss. Pun fully intended.

I slide my hand a bit further north and begin to play with his belt buckle. My other hand joins in the action. We're still connected at the mouth and touching pretty much all the way to the ground. Suddenly I pull back and stare at the offending buckle. I can't manage it. I want to see and taste his cock right now. I want it inside me. God I'm horny. And I can't undo the fucking buckle. 'Is there a trick to that?'

'Yeah,' he mumbles. I should have watched him undo it. Maybe I did and I just didn't pay attention. Maybe I did and I did pay attention, but forgot all about it as soon as it was undone. Whatever. All I know is that he undid it, and I don't remember how. Suddenly his belt is undone. He unbuttons his pants and undoes his fly. Quick as a flash I'm back in there, rubbing him again. His skin feels soft under my palm. I grip him firmly, but tug softly. The foreskin feels soft and slippery. In contrast to the hard tissue underneath it. He smells horny and we kiss a little more.

Finally we stop. The time has come. Time to get down to business. He glances around the room. Its unfurnished. 'Where...?' he trails off. I offer him a choice. Bedroom, closer but a familiar environment. Or lounge, further away, but furniture I hadn't fucked on previously. He let me choose. I picked the lounge. Or, I grasped his cock and led him there.

It must have been a funny sight. Being a new place he didn't know where we were going. And he wanted to see everything. So he was a little behind. I led him eagerly through the kitchen, the study and to the lounge. All the while treating his cock like a a handle. It was convenient like that. And kinky too. His pants were around his ankles and he shuffled slowly along. Occasionally I'd stroke him and stare sluttily into his eyes.

We got to the lounge. He knew we had finally arrived. So he walked in and had a quick look around. His gaze landed on me and we kissed again, and began undressing each other in earnest. Shirts came off first. Then my pants. He sat down on the couch to remove his shoes and socks. Once these were off his pants fell from his ankles. I stepped towards him and gave him a deep kiss. His hand wandered and he gently fingered my slippery pussy. One finger, then two. Deep inside me. His other hand meandered up my back to my bra clips. With a smooth hand motion, he undid my bra and flicked it off. It happened so fast I got a thrill. He wanted in there. And he wanted to be in there NOW.

He's still sitting on the couch. His fingers are still inside me, teasing me to the point of excitement. I'm not yet ready to come, but I can feel my body responding hungrily to his touch. I move forward ever so slightly. He nuzzles into my breast and begins to tease it with his lips. Very slowly he begins to suck at my hard nipple. Suddenly he stops, and instead begins to nibble instead. The feeling of his teeth gently raking it makes me want to squeal. My breathing becomes deeper and more staccato. A few groans inadvertently escape my lips. I vaguely think that if he did that to my clit I'd be screaming the rafters down.

He pulls away from my nipple and slowly slides his hand out from my soaking pussy. I stand there with my eyes half closed for the smallest of moments, trying to memorise that feeling. To no avail. I swallow and open my eyes. He's so fucking hot. Sitting there, staring back at me with absolute lust in his eyes. I reach down and gently stroke his throbbing cock. I lean forward and kiss him lightly. Just a few butterfly kisses to tease him as I get down on my knees.

His cock was perfect. There's no other way to describe it. It was big. Maybe erring on the side of being too big. It was long, and thick. Smooth, and almost perfectly proportioned. The knob of his cock was maybe a bit smaller than his girth warranted, but it was made to hit the right spots. And I knew from experience that it indeed did that.

I looked up at him as I took him deep into my mouth. I sucked him, hard. Running my hand up and down the shaft as I did so. I could tell from his breathing that he loved it. His groans were purely animal in nature. I nibbled the underside of his cock, from the tip, to the base. When I got there, I gently sucked his nuts too. He began to swear in his excitement. Releasing him from my mouth, I met his eyes. 'You forgot, didn't you. You forgot how good I was at this.' A light sweat peppered his brow as he answered the affirmative. I smiled and determined to make it even more memorable.

I really went to work on his cock. Sucking and playing with him. Nibbling and stroking. He was lost, right there in that moment. He murmured something quietly. My mother always taught me not to speak with my mouth full, so I pulled away with a lazy 'mmm?'

'You worry me' he repeated.

Mistaking the intent, I asked him, 'why do you worry about me?'

'I'm worried that you're going to hurt me,' was his reply.

I considered this as I shifted position. My face bobbed from one side of his cock, over the top and to the other side, hand moving all the while. 'Its just sex. I'll be nice if you will.'

He seemed happy with that. Suddenly he stood up. I dragged my hands slowly up his legs, all the way from his calves, up the inside of his thighs. I took his cock in my mouth again, sucking gently this time. I didn't move my head. I let him thrust into my mouth with the speed and pressure that he wanted. I loved the feel of his cock slipping over my lips, the way his smooth shaft felt against my tongue. He was warm and soft, and when I sucked him I could feel him throbbing in time in my mouth.

Suddenly he pulled away. I stood too. 'I wanna fuck you from behind. ' I reached up for a quick kiss as we got into position. I put one leg up on the couch, leaning forward slightly. I felt him step up behind me, one hand on my ass. Then his cock was gently rubbing against the smooth, slippery opening to my pussy. He pushed a little, and I gave way, letting him slip deep inside.

I nearly screamed. With that position he always pushed straight into my G spot. And here he was, thrusting slowly but rhythmically into me. For a guy with such a big cock he was surprisingly gentle. I love being taken from behind. The feel of his legs pressed hard up against mine, his hands on my hips, and him linking into me is absolutely fantastic. Little ripples of pleasure ran through me, shivering under my skin with every thrust. Before long, it became difficult to breathe normally. I hung my head down, gasping and moaning.

I have no idea how long I'm there for, before he pulls away again. I sink onto the couch. This guy gives me the energy to go all night, but manages to sap my strength at the same time. He follows me. I stretch out, and as he comes in to enter me again, I slide one leg around his waist. Before he touches me though, he kisses me lightly. I'm distracted and so almost miss the sensation of him slipping between my wet slip. There is no missing him sliding into me. He fills me completely. His tongue slides around my nipple and he sucks viciously as he thrusts into me. I can feel his stomach pushing into mine. I feel every inch of my naked skin, whether its pressing against the couch, or next to his warm skin, or exposed to the cold air. And I am acutely aware that I'm tightening around his cock, which is slipping into me harder, and faster.

He pulls away. Linking his arms behind my knees, he wraps them around my thighs and drags me towards him. 'Gimme that pussy,' he growls. I laugh. For a moment. He's inside me again and the laughs quickly turn to moans. I'm beginning to come.

Abruptly he pulls away. He sits back on the couch, legs spread cock sitting straight up. 'I want you to sit on me,' he instructs. I happily oblige. After all, that cock is just begging to be ridden, sitting up, all stiff like that. I straddle him. Reaching behind me to guide his cock in. As I slide down his pole, I gasp. In this position I'm tighter than ever, and I hug him very closely. It feels fantastic. I slide up, and back down, slowly. Reveling in the sensation that his body gives mine. As I approach climax, I speed up. I begin to tingle harder, deep inside. The tiny ripples of pleasure begin to turn into waves, washing over me.

I rise one last time and when I come back down, he's not there anymore. I freeze. I look at him. He's extremely pale. 'Its come out,' I know I stated the obvious.

'I know' he replies. Nothing more is forthcoming. I reach back and grasp him. Unconsciously I begin to stroke.

'Whats going on?' I ask, confused.

'I don't wanna cum yet,' is his reply. I'm still stroking him without realising. A few moments pass.

'You gonna cum?' He swallows and gives an almost imperceptible nod. I am now in a tough position. I don't want to say or do anything to make him feel inadequate. I swing off of his lap. For half a moment he is bitterly disappointed. Then I kneel in front of him again. And I suck him as he cums. He doesn't cum hard. But he's been trying to hold it back.

When my mouth is full, I pull away and swallow. The fluid is warm and bitingly salty as it slides down the back of my throat. I look at the floor, bite back a grimace and hope he doesn't notice. I stare up at him again and rub his cock against my tits as he finishes.

He feels bad. I can see it in his face. He wanted me to cum too. I sit on the couch alongside him. He's playing with himself, trying to get ready again. I slide my hand up his thigh. 'Let me do it. I'll play with you, if you play with me,' I offer. He readily accepts. I slide around, so that I'm facing him, legs spread. One sits across his lap, and the other presses against his side.

He slides two fingers inside me again. I stroke him. Though soon he's forgotten. His fingers are pressing the right zones. I stop playing with him and lay back on the couch, inviting him to do his thing. He leans in to focus properly, fingers still deep inside. He stops moving them in the standard 'cum hither' motion, and instead starts moving them in opposite directions. One flicking forward as the other flicks back, then alternating. I've never felt anything like it in my life. I was being stimulated by two fingers, but I had the added bonus that each time his knuckles slid past each other, it felt like he was flicking me deep inside. Soon enough I'm cumming. Hard. I can't breathe properly. My back is arched and I feel like I'm going to fly right through the wall. I gather myself one last time, and meet his eyes.

It appears that he thinks I've faked it. He leans in and nibbles the inside of my knee, and I'm lost again. I shut my eyes and begin screaming in earnest. If I came hard before, then this makes it appear as nothing. I begin the descent and I beg him, 'Gimme your fingers.'

He doesn't comprehend so I ask him again. He pulls his hand out slowly and offers it to me, unsure of what I'll do. I reach out and guide it to my mouth. I suck hungrily at his fingers and see the look of shock on his face. I give him back his hand and I have to ask, 'you've never had anyone do that to you before?


He wasn't exactly innocent either.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Presenting le desktop...

I've seen this done so I thought, why not?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Bits and blobs.

I've decided to do the smut post a week early. I'm quite busily composing it. Its quite hot. Maybe even the hottest one to date. He hasn't even gotten in the front door yet and I've had to have some 'me time.' And its not going to be written 'he/she'. Its going to be written from the first person. Which will be a bit different.

So be warned. This weekend, my blog is not going to be worksafe.


About Iceman. Nothing happened. At least, not in the way everybody's thinking. We met at a dancing thing. And I forgot just how much of a flirt I could be. Damn, it was full on flirting. He wandered off from his best mate and followed me into the kitchen to get a drink. And we chatted each other up.

Sunday marked 11 months since I last rode a big fat cock. And I am sure as hell not going to let it get to a year.


Excellent news! I found out today that one of my besties in high school is pregnant! I'm so excited for her. Its bittersweet for me, and I must confess I shed a few tears because she's going to have what I have missed out on. But I couldn't wish it on a nicer person. She's going to be a great mum and I wish her all the best.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Its funny how you adopt your friends mannerisms. Here are a few that I've picked up and use on a regular basis.
  • 'Funny, that.' Instead of saying 'duh' or 'no shit'. Works best when someone states the obvious. I got this one from Fel, my bestie from first year uni.
  • I say 'man' and, to a lesser extent, 'dude'. These have been added to my repertoire by Green Eyes.
  • 'Brilliant!' From Whatawaste.
  • There's a guy at work who we see occasionally, and for days after he's visited, everybody says 'Cool Banana's.'
  • My favourite would have to be 'Good Morning' or just 'Morning!' as a greeting. Only the 'good' is really drawn out (guuurd) and the 'morning' is said really quickly. I particularly love it because you can say it to anybody at any time of the day and they automatically parrot it back to you without realising. I got this one from my Michelle, my bestie from the later years at uni.
I personally have a saying that shits me. I say it without realising. I say 'OK' but with a kind of N sound at the beginning. I used to do that 'I dunno' that Homer Simpson does without moving his tongue. But I don't say that much anymore.

What are your sayings? Or have you ever picked up someone else's sayings?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

I didn't want to go last night.

But I'm glad I did.

I shall call him Iceman. Because his hands are soo cold.

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Girlie Gang!

I'm part of a gang. Well, maybe not, but it definitely feels that way. We're rough, and tough, and we love our sex. We'll stand around gossiping for hours on end until we see something that we can screw, and then the claws come out.

You know those stereotypical guy gangs that women are intimidated to walk past. Thats us. But in reverse. The guys are afraid to walk past us.

It starts with an innocent 'Hey baby, you're hot.' Which someone then responds to 'Youse got a nice arse,' and the offer is put forward 'Do you wanna wear my legs as a scarf?' And then it all ends with a call of 'Show us ya cock!'

And if we're successful and we do actually get to see cock, we go gaga. We tell you all of its virtues and what we'd like to do to it. Its win-win. The penis bearer gets a massive ego boost, and we get to see cock!

So who is this gang? You ask. Well obviously its me. But there's also Smack, Kitty, and Jenny. There are a few other girls who have joined in at times.

And it all happens here. Be warned through, its not safe for work.

Oh, did I mention we're always looking for new cocks to perve on?

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Man hides sex toys in German sausage for trip

Do I need to add anything to get a laugh?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

There's a fat black pussy in my bed!

So I didn't sleep really well last night. I had a shiteful day at work. So to de stress I baked. Oh bhoy did I bake. I made a butt load of sugary foods that came out of the oven and were assembled just before bedtime. And of course they all needed to be tried.

I went to bed just before I got a sugar high.

I woke about 4 am. My asthma is playing up (directly because of work yesterday) so I had a bit of trouble going back to sleep. I ended up walking around in the dark for something to do. Then I went back to bed and played with Boots. She's getting quite fat and is in need of a diet. Then there's Rai Who's naturally very active. So I laid in bed pondering how to best feed two different diets to two cats when I'm not around to really enforce who eats from what bowl. I guess I'll have to feed them new diets in their current bowls and just wing that Boots doesn't hog into Rais.

Then I went to sleep and dreamed of Green Eyes,only he was my ex roomie that I haven't even seen in years. It was hard to get out of bed for so many reasons this morning.

I have tomorrow off. Thank god.

I want sex.

Damn hormones.

Monday, September 17, 2007

If anyone wants to grant any wishes from the previous post, you can do it here.

Anybody's wishes at all. Yes Fingers, you do get the chance to grant the first one I did.

Lets play a game!

This is one I got from Memphis Steve.

Basically, one person makes a wish in the comments section. The next person to comment grants the wish, but gives it a negative outcome. Then they make their own wish, and the cycle completes itself.

For example. I wish I could get oral sex from Zac Effron. The next person can grant it but tells me that during oral sex I get over excited and snap his tiny neck between my gigantic thighs.

Ok. Maybe not that brutal, but you get the gist.

I'll go first. I wish that I didn't have to shave my legs.

Saturday, September 15, 2007


  • I went to pick up a gift voucher for the Gal Pal. She's in hospital for a few weeks and so this is work's collective gift to her. The chain I wanted to get the voucher from was closed when I went shopping on Thursday night. I thought it had shut down for renovations. So today I went to a different shopping centre to pick it up.
    Apparently the store at Parra shits at 5pm. Even on Thursdays (our late night shopping thing). Who knew! But I got my voucher.
  • I got new pillows. Since the Biotch is here, he's using some of my pillows. And I'm not used to having three pillows. I tend to pad them all around me. Craving bed contact much? So I picked up two good ones. They were normally $23 each, but were on sale. And I had my roomies discount card, so instead of paying $46, I paid $30. And they're soo good.
  • I saw Bakery Chick. I've known this girl pretty much since I moved to Sydney. But its only been through being a regular customer. I thought she had left her job, because I never saw her anymore, on the few occasions I went to that centre. But she was there today so I dropped in to say hi. She said she saw me at Parra a week or so ago, but she didn't think I'd recognise her out of her uniform. So we swapped numbers.
  • I got the job interview. I thought I had been rejected because I hadn't heard back. But I found a letter in my mailbox (seriously, whats the point of even having those nowdays?) and they've scheduled me in for an interview.
  • I cleaned. Did laundry and vacuumed the floor and scrubbed the shower. I love the smell of a clean house.
  • I had a dance social. I swear 8 minutes of salsa is better than 20 minutes on a treadmill. And so much more fun. But leaving them is always so disappointing. I am always very awake, and I want to go do something, even if its just have a quiet cup of cocoa with a friend. But the Biotch is out with his ex, and the roomie is off at a partay, so I blog instead. Aren't you all lucky.
  • I did my 400th post. You're reading it now.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Blame Game

I go tagged by Kelly. Seems she thinks that because I love my buzzjoys waaay more than I should, she has to go get more! My vibrator gets blamed for so much. And its such a good, well behaved vibe too!

Anyhoo. I have to blame people for stuff.

  1. I blame Kez for introducing me to blogging. What a waste of time.
  2. I blame Fingers for his general cunty-ness. His 'wit' is sharp and his 'harem' even includes a few guys!
  3. I blame Rups for turning me on. Seriously. His blog is not work safe!
  4. I blame Betty for making my boobs look tiny and insignificant. I didn't even know that was possible.
  5. I blame Kitty for being a filthy horn bag. Well. A sexy filthy insipring horn bag.
  6. I blame Ingsoc for making me think. The cogs in my skull are rusty.
  7. I blame Keshi for being so glamorous. I'd love to hate her. But I settle on loving to love her.
  8. I blame Smack for my lack of sleep. Damn her and her late night chat sessions.
  9. I blame Josh for not being responsible. That monkey can't answer for all of your mistakes bhoy!
  10. I blame Mel for not blogging often enough. She keeps us hanging and WE WANT MORE.
Ok. It's all y'all's turn now.

The Singlemma

Singlemma, n. (sin-GLeh-ma)
  1. The dilemma caused by wearing a short singlet. Often heightened in the presence of muffin top.
You pull it down at the bottom, it goes down at the boobs. You pull it up at the boobs, it goes up at the bottom.


Is it too hard to put an extra inch of fabric at the bottom so I don't have to do this ALL day?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

So far the topics we have for the Biotch's guest post are:

  • Life with Phish- A view from Biotch
  • *insert witty idea here*
  • gay men, shopping trips and their girlfriends
We want more ideas.

Monday, September 10, 2007


So I've been a little slack over the last few weekends. I've been absolutely swamped in the last few weeks with blogging shit, dancing, job applications, work and relationship issues.

Now I've got another thing to add to the mix. The biotch is temporarily without residence and feeling definitely down and out. So he's crashing on my couch for a few weeks. A lot of my free time is tied up with keeping him entertained. Which works for me because therapy for him is to go shopping for me!

But I'm swamped. I'm going to have to cut something, and unfortunately right now its this. So don't expect daily posts anymore. I will still be here, but not quite as often. Most likely about four times a week. More if I can manage it. The good news is, that this should cut out a heap of shit that I post, and so only the good stuff will make it through. In theory anyway.

So I've cut my reading by about 30%. Basically, if you read here and/or email me, I'll keep visiting you. I'm reading blogs purely on an interaction basis.

But since the biotch is here, he might end up doing a guest post for me. I'm going to leave it up to you, to pick the topic. All potential topics will be collated in a few days, and then you get to vote on it. So make your suggestions in the comments section.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Fragmented recollections

So I saw Snow Patrol on Friday.. And they were absolutely fabulous! Beyond fabulous. I love their music. Love it. They have to be one of my favourite bands. The two bands that came on before were good. They had a good sound, but nobody knew the words, so their art kind of fell of deaf ears.

Snow Patrol themselves were brilliant. They didn't have the big performance with dancers and special effects that some other musicians have. They didn't need it. From the first sound of the guitar, it was clear. The music was perfect. If it didn't surround you and run riot through your soul, you could easily think that they were faking it.

I swear the base in Splitting Games made me come.

When they did chasing cars, it was one of life's truly beautiful moments. I like that song. But its definitely not one of my favourites. But being there, in that moment, surrounded by the crowd singing along perfectly... The emotion in that song was truly amazing. You were there, in that moment, where the song was created. You were there, with your SO, bittersweet that your moment of perfection is going to end.

I've never been to a concert before. But I'm glad I waited. Acer Arena was packed to the ceiling. And it by the end everybody was on their feet, singing and carrying on. 21,000 people, all a part of the music. All happy to be emotionally manipulated by the art of a few people. I want to go back and do it all again.

And now... now they sound flat. Their albums are so moderated and even. Listening to the recording that was made on the night as I blog and it still sends shivers up my spine. It will be a while before I can listen to their albums without feeling let down.

Don't get me wrong. Albums = fantastic. Live = out of this world.

Thursday, September 06, 2007


Yesterday I was talking to one Green Eyes co-workers about a supply problem. I said I was supplying about 40% of what was there. Which means that 60% of the stock was unsuitable for them. About half an hour later I got a text from him saying something along the lines of 'Rubbish. Only seen crap.'

At first I had no idea what it related to. I thought it was a mis-sent text. Then I thought it was about the stock quality. And I started stewing on it. I let it sit, trying to see if I would calm down before confronting him. And I did calm down a bit.

After lunch I discovered someone else's careless mistake that could have absolutely screwed me. And I was ropeable. I refused to find out who it was. I know it would not have ended well for anybody. I ended up fixing the mistake and making my way to the phone.

I had to call yet another of his coworkers and he answered. I asked him what the text was about.

Turns out he's a bit slow at replying to his texts. About a week ago I zipped a text across to Green Eyes. He's been house hunting and I asked him how he was going (read: 'when the fuck are you going to get your arse into gear and ask me out?'). And he chose an inopportune time to send a response.

We had a good laugh at it. He was defensive, saying he'd never send a text like that. And I told him that I knew it was out of character, and that was why I was so upset about it. Then I told him that he was really close to having me tear him a new one. And we laughed at that too.

There's no real point to this story. It was funny when it happened.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

My Creativity

These are the pages from the back of my uni exercise book. When I actually attended a lecture, and I got bored, then I scribbled and scrawled. These are from my last year. Obviously, there was a few things that I wanted to recreate.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Ahh Doi!

I wonder about myself sometimes. I really do.

I wasn't going to post tonight but this was too good to pass up. My phone was going absolutely nuts today. I was texting Cute Dancer Boy, the Gay Biotch and Whatawaste. I also had my phone actually ring (it never rings, EVAH). Not once, but TWICE. And they both went to message bank. One was my Dad, the other was the optometrist. My new contacts were in. Hurrah! I've been wearing my glasses for about a month now, so I desperately needed them. I trundled off to pick them up and grab some sushi for dinner.

Oh, how I love sushi!

Anyhoo, when I got home I chucked the contacts in so they could settle before I went off to dancing. And on the drive to dancing I noticed things were a little blurry. Not dangerously so, it was just a bit difficult to focus on street signs. 'Hmm', I thought, 'thats odd.' And I just put it down to it being night and my eyes adjusting to the contacts.

I get home and drag Boots into the bathroom to wash her chin. She's got feline acne again. And while I'm in there she knocks my new contacts boxes into the sink. I pick them up after I'm done with her, and try to put them back together. I can only find one set of right contacts. I search around a bit. Maybe she's knocked it onto the floor.

No. Not on the floor. Look, there's the box of left contacts...

The FULL box of left contacts. Which means...

I'd put two right contacts in.

Its bloody hard to see straight sometimes.

Monday, September 03, 2007

My Bitch Hat

I have a bitch hat. I'm sure everybody's experienced someone's bitch hat at some stage. You're talking there, quite fine, and all of a sudden. BHAM!!! Out comes the bitch hat. You get verbally whipped around the ears, and it goes away. Either the moment passes, the bitch hat-ee leaves in a huff.

My bitch hat got a bit worn out on the weekend. I went to see Die Hard with a friend on Friday night. Before I get into what happened - great movie. Bruce is showing his age. I hate when they take a classic bit and use it again in a sequel. Makes it cheesy.

Moving on.

There was a poignant bit in the movie. And The Fray's 'How to Save a Life' began playing. I thought it was a bit odd. But the poignant bit went away and so did the song.

A few minutes later it played again. And I realised that it was some wenches phone. She answered it before I could figure out which dozy broad it was. Obviously it was a text, because there was no talking after it went off.

Right. I thought. She should have learnt her lesson and put it on silent by now. You'd think so anyway.


It went off about half an hour later. And that's when I rammed my bitch hat on.

I turned around and said to her 'Do you have silent on that thing?'. Which pissed me off no end. I wanted to come across as rightfully snarky. Instead it came out politely. Politely. WTF is that?

As I turned back to the screen I noticed the person sitting on my left turn back to face the screen. Seems he wasn't going to say anything to her, and was going to settle for glaring. Um, dude, its a cinema. You can glare all you want. Its dark and she can't fucking see you!

After the movie I went home and got me some serious sleep. Friday night and I was in bed, asleep by about ten. I'm getting so old. But I figure if you're falling asleep in a Die Hard movie you are in need of sleep. So I was dead to the world.

About 11 pm I woke up. Correction. I was woken up. At first I thought the people above me were having an orgy, with all the banging and thumping. Then I thought they were moving furniture. That, or baby elephants.

Then I heard the music and clapping. WTF type of orgy was this?

I waited to fall back to sleep but I couldn't. I dragged my arse out of bed to see if I could figure out where this noise came from, and it was the guys in the apartment next to mine. My room is the only room that doesn't have windows that open out near anything of theirs, and doesn't share a wall. For them to wake me, when I was so tired, they were really loud.

So I dug down into my metaphorical pocket and grabbed my bitch hat again.

When they answered their door I had the right tone. Bliss. I thought my hat had been broken. This time it gave the correct mix of shortness and tiredness, without being outright bitchy. Course it helped that I was wearing my bright purple snoopy pyjamas, complete with bare feet, bed hair and 'I've just been asleep' squint.

They quietened down and I went back to sleep.


Sunday, September 02, 2007

The first time

Closing the door behind him, he looked at her staring around the room. She wore a gorgeous dress, tight across the bodice, fastened with hooks all the way down the back, and covered in lace. Her skirt flowed straight down and gently swept the floor. He'd never seen that outfit until today. Her shoes were already discarded by the door.

She turned to face him. A gentle smile swept across her face and her green eyes danced at the sight of him. He hesitated. They'd been together for what seemed like a million times, and he was as comfortable with her as he was with his pet cat. So why was it so awkward all of a sudden? Nothing had really changed, or so he told himself.

He shrugged off his jacket and dropped it on top of her shoes. Turning he moved over to the bar. It had been a big day, it passed in a blur. He didn't even know if he'd even eaten anything. He ran a hand through his hair as he contemplated the drinks. Mixing himself a gin and tonic, he heard her move to the bathroom.

He followed her in there and stood in the doorway while he drank. She was stunning, seeing her today... it took his breath away. And seeing her now... he was inexplicably proud. He's taken a wildcat and managed to convince her to love him and to want to be with him. She was slim, perfectly toned, with shimmering green eyes set in a delicate face, surrounded long blonde hair. Everywhere they went people looked at her. If they saw him they often wondered who he was to be with someone like that. He was about her height, maybe a little shorter, with thick dark hair and dark eyes. He had an alright body, he supposed, but nothing to brag about.

She gasped as she pulled a pin out of her hair and pouted into the mirror. He moved forward and wrapped one hand around her waist, placing the drink on the sink with the other. She moved back into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his. Leaving one hand wrapped around her waist, he pushed her hair aside and kissed her gently on the back of the neck, just behind the ear. She smiled and melted into his embrace, eyes closed and head turned slightly to face him. He pulled his face back and began to examine her hair for more pins, removing any as he saw them.

Slowly he ran his hands through her hair, massaging her scalp. Her hair had been pinned so tightly, and as much as she'd wanted to scratch all day, she couldn't. It was bliss for her. He loved to do little things like this for her. She was so wound up about today. And now it was over she could finally relax. She turned her head over her shoulder and their eyes met. Wrapping his arms around her again, he held her tight for a kiss.

Shivers went down his spine to the soles of his feet the moment his lips touched hers. They were smooth and soft, pressing against his perfectly. They stood there, in the bathroom, like that for what seemed an eternity. Finally she pulled away from him slightly and turned to face him.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she could feel his hand slide around her waist. She moved in for the kiss again. This time it was more demanding of him. She could feel every inch of him, pressed against her. She slowly slid a hand down his chest and left it there, pressed against his heart. She could feel it pulsing through his shirt.

His hand slowly slipped up her back, plucking the hooks at the back of her bodice. He knew he would never get it undone this way, it was just a contrast to feeling skin there. However, she had other ideas.

'Mind if I take this off?' she murmured into his adams apple.

'Is it that uncomfortable?' He asked her. 'You look so amazing in it.'

'I know I do, thats why I chose it,' she grinned at him. 'But its so...' she waved her hands vaguely, 'fatiguing,' she finished.

Her hands stretched around to where his were, and she began pulling ineffectively at the hooks. 'Here,' he said, spinning her around so her back was facing him, 'I'll be quicker.' And he was, within moments it had loosened around her chest and she realised it had restricted her breathing all day. A few more moments and she was free of the dress, and it slid down to the floor.

He let out a small cough in his surprise. One moment he was standing behind her, loosening the dress, the next he was staring at her perfect, smooth arse. She was wearing nothing except a white lace thong and her white stockings, held up by a thick lace band. She put her hand on her hip and breathed hard in relief, before turning to face him with a sexy smile. The wildcat was clearly out.

She slid her hands from his waist, up his chest and sat them on his shoulder, with her forearms planted against his chest as she kissed him teasingly. 'Well Mr Parkes, how about I return the favour?'

Slowly she nibbled at his earlobe, undoing his top button. One hand working the buttons, the other slid down his chest. Her lips fluttered just above her finger tips, her tongue flicking against his taut body occasionally. He tasted slightly salty and of stress, but she wouldn't have it any other way. With a gentle tug she pulled his shirt out of the top of his pants and went to work on his belt. Her nimble fingers undid the clasp, and with a practiced flick of her wrist she tugged it off. She could smell his excitement as she looked up and met his eyes. Her hands found themselves at his knees, and she rose slowly, never breaking eye contact. He could feel her hands move up his legs, across his groin. He expected her to stop and play when she got there, but instead she gave him a quick caress through his pants and continued her journey upwards, sliding her hands under his shirt and all the way to his shoulders.

She kissed him again. More intensely now. He knew exactly what she wanted. Well, truth be told, he'd known since he walked in the door and saw her standing there. Her kisses became harder, more demanding. Usually at this stage his pants would be off, she'd have her hand on his dick. But now her hands were at his shoulders, under the collar of his open shirt. Slowly she moved her hands back and caught his shirt. Her hands slid over his back, arms encircling him as she tugged his shirt off.

As she flung his shirt to the ground he surprised her. Her attention was not on him at that moment, so she squealed as he picked her up and carried her through to the bedroom. He threw her on the bed and she bounced slightly, looking slightly stunned, staring at him. He stood over her, dark and brooding. She could see him pushing against his pants, and it was at odds with the serious look he wore. She broke into a fit of giggles and he launched himself onto the bed, bouncing neatly beside her.

He leaned up on his elbow and kissed her, deep and full of longing. His hand gently caressed her firm breast. He could feel her nipple poking into the palm of his hand. Leaning forward he closed his mouth around the other nipple and sucked gently. The warmth, moistness and pressure his mouth exerted against her already sensitive nipple made her arch her back, pressing herself into him, and sent shivers through her gut. His hand snaked down her stomach and found her thong. He began caressing her crotch, and he could feel moisture seeping through the lace. She moaned and pushed against him again.

He pulled away from her breast and focused on her underwear. He slipped one hand down each hip, hooking his thumbs over the outside of the thong, and slid it off. She obliged him by lifting her ass off the bed. He ran his hands down the entire length of her legs, feeling the smoothness of the stocking laid so closely to her hard calves, caressing them with his eyes the entire way. He maneuvered til he was kneeling between her legs, facing her. Slipping one hand inside the top of one of her stockings, her slowly rolled it down, gently kissing and nibbling the softer flesh of her thigh as he did so. Flicking the stocking away, he did the same with the other.

Leaning forward he gently nibbled on her stomach, slowly trailing down to her pussy. His hand was gently fingering the slit, gliding through the wetness, barely making contact with her clit. She pushed against his hand, but his finger merely skated over her most sensitive zones. As his mouth moved closer, he began to move two fingers inside her, slowly, gently. He watched as she began to climax for the first time. She back arched, her knees pulled up to her chest. He looked up, hoping to make eye contact, but she was too focused on the headboard of the bed, squealing for real this time.

All she could focus on was herself in that moment. His fingers were pressing repeatedly against her, and she was beginning to come. She gasped and cried out. Satisfied that she was at climax, he decided to push her a little more. Hand still inside her, he buried his face in her pussy and licked greedily, working with his lips and giving the occasional suck. Pushing against him, she came. Hard. Wriggling and writhing on the bed, knees up around her ears. He was stuck in that moment too, tasting the sweetness of her excitement.

He pulled his face away from her, and watched as she stilled herself. She wasn't really responding to his hands anymore. He stretched forward, over her, and kissed her gently. She was still coming down from her orgasm, so responded slowly.

He stood up to take off his pants, sliding them down around his hips. She watched his manhood bounce as it left the confines of his clothing. By the time he had stepped out of his pants, she was sitting at the edge of the bed, eying off his massive cock. He caught sight of her sitting, there, waiting, and grinned, pushing his pelvis out, inviting her to have a taste. She looked up at him, slipping one hand up his thighs. She grazed the back of her hand over his balls, before returning and caressing them in her palm. Slowly she slid her mouth down over the head of his cock, giving the slightest pressure. She was more concerned with rubbing as much as she could with her tongue right now, which she did, in long, hard stokes. Her hand alternated between touching his stomach or chest when she could reach it, and stroking the shaft. Her head bobbed as she sucked at him, and his groans made her quiver.

Pulling away suddenly, she glanced up at him. Lips pursed, she pressed them against the tip of his cock and began to stroke him.He pushed against her lips, but she didn't open them. Instead she smirked at him. Frustrated he pushed again. She pulled away and laughed playfully, relenting to stroke him. Lifting his cock, she licked and nibbled the underside, from tip to balls and back again. She made to suck him again, but he pulled away.

Sliding back on the bed, she reclined on her elbows, looking at him from between her legs. A seductive smile crossed her face as she eyed him off. He knelt between her legs again and leaned over her.

'Strange to think that this is the peak of you loving me,' she grinned wickedly. The hellcat again.

'If the last four years are any indication, I'll love you more tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after,' he said truthfully. Her wicked grin became a girlish, slightly embarrassed smile. 'I love you.' He leaned in to kiss her again, deeply this time, and as they kissed, he entered her.

She was warm, and moist, and she hugged his cock perfectly. He loved the way she felt around him. This moment, he was absorbed by her. She overwhelmed his senses and they blended as one. They moved as one, him plunging deep into her. Every move he made her legs slid a little more up his back, until they were wrapped around his waist. She loved this part, where they just warmed up. She loved his weight, pressed against her hips, grinding them into the bed. She loved the little grunts he made with every thrust. She loved the way sweat began to pepper his brow, and his eyes glazed as he got lost in the moment. Without this contact, there was no love, and their actions were empty. She knew how to make him quiver with excitement. He loved to be ridden.

'My turn to be in control.' That broke his reverie. He gave her a small kiss, and moved to pull away. She kept her legs wrapped around him, and used his weight to help her move smoothly on top of him.

He had slipped out during that maneuver, so she guided him back inside. She gently rode him, enjoying the sensation of him pressing inside her, loving the feel of him being with her. He hit completely different areas this way. She was tighter too, so she enjoyed it more. Every bounce sent shivers through her, a rippling effect of pleasure coursing her body.

Suddenly his hands were on her hips, guiding her faster and harder. Her screams seemed to echo through the room as she came. Her back arched and her hands clawed at her hair. She spasmed around his cock and stopped for an instant as she peaked. With a grunt she began her descent, still riding him. He could feel her come swirled around his dick as he thrust into her tightening pussy with urgency. The tension was building inside him, and it released suddenly, filling her. She could feel him quivering beneath her, gasping and shuddering.

Slowly she stilled. His cock was still buried in her as she sat astride him. She seemed to sag a little as she exhaled and looked at him. He met her gaze, deep and level, and she exclaimed, 'Oh. Mister Parkes!'

He glanced through to the bathroom and spied her white dress still lying on the floor. He ran his hand down her left arm, lifting her hand he fondled the band that newly encircled her ring finger. 'Mrs Parkes.'