Monday, September 17, 2007

Lets play a game!

This is one I got from Memphis Steve.

Basically, one person makes a wish in the comments section. The next person to comment grants the wish, but gives it a negative outcome. Then they make their own wish, and the cycle completes itself.

For example. I wish I could get oral sex from Zac Effron. The next person can grant it but tells me that during oral sex I get over excited and snap his tiny neck between my gigantic thighs.

Ok. Maybe not that brutal, but you get the gist.

I'll go first. I wish that I didn't have to shave my legs.

49 comments:

Josh said...

I grant your wish and you no longer have to shave your legs, they are smooth and hairless for eternity.

Unfortunately it turns out that your one true love is German and is turned off by your smooth pre-pubescent legs and threatens to leave you unless you get some sexy stubble happening...

I wish I had and extra hour or two in every day...

The T-Dude said...

I grant that wish and your days are now comprised of 26 hours instead of 24.

Unfortunately, every single task now takes just a little bit longer to complete (Work always expands to fit the time available, it a rule!) so the end result is that you are just as unhappy as you were before, but your unhappiness lasts a couple of hours longer each day.

I wish that my children, unbeknownst to them, were always safe from harm for the rest of their lives.

Sgt said...

Your wish is granted.

Unfortunately you children will now live in a giant bubbles in your basement and you feed and water them via hamster like bottles on the side.

I wish people would stop prejudging each other.

The Man at the Pub said...

Granted. But this lack of a wary instincts manifests itself in extreme post-judgement, which causes rampant back-stabbing, blackmail and associated violence, leading to the complete breakdown of civilisation as we know it....and the internet.

I wish I had red velvet curtains and a stuffed camel.

david hayes said...

Granted.

But your curtain catch fire and burn down your house. Then the camel walking into the house and explodes. Just because we need more explosions.

I wish there were more explosions, but that they wouldn't hurt anything.

JP said...

Your wish is granted, but a bus driving admiring all of the pretty explosions fails to notice you in the crosswalk and you become a hood orniment on the bus.

JP said...

Doh! I forgot to include my wish.

I wish I had a better memory!

RAFFI said...

granted. your better memory leads you to become the world's best black jack player through counting cards. at their casino, robert deniro and joe pesci see you're a cheat and take you to the backroom and beat you silly with a hammer. the head trauma induces you to take on a hybrid personality of zsa zsa gabor and leona hemsley, and you dress like liberace. all the while, you forget this was all because of your better memory.

i wish i could be spiderman, but not be tobey maguire

Kelly said...

Your wish is granted. You now have all kinds of spidey senses and can climb shit easily. However your Mary Jane isn't Kirsten Dunst, it is Rosanne Bar. And she likes sex. A LOT!

I wish I could find really fantastic camera that was only 12 USD.

MsPuddin said...

Your wish is granted, but you can only use your camera for taping porn.

I wish that I didn’t have any homework right now…

MsP

Josh said...

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately with the lack of homework comes a poor education and the only work option you have is a porn flick with Raffi dressed as spiderman, Rosanne Bar and filmed on Kelly's $12 camera.

It is not pretty and does not pay well for the trauma involved.

I wish Megan Fox (from Transformers) was my fuck buddy...

fingers said...

Wish granted, Josh.
Unfortunately, every time you try to fuck her she transforms into Michael J Fox.

I wish I'd got first right of reply to Phishez' wish; this is a fucking great game...

Betty Boob Hug said...

I'm responding to fingers wish, even though I might be a bit late....

Fingers got first right of reply to Phishez's wish. Unfortunately, Phishez hated his response - deleted him off her blogroll and now fingers is suffering from a bad case of low self esteem and paranoia and has to eat worms.


my wish is that I meet my future husband tomorrow and he is a farmer and lets me have chickens in the backyard.

Josh said...

Betty, your wish is granted. Unfortunately your husband while he is a farmer, is from Australia and is on drought stricken property that has not produced so much a bushel of grain in years.

To make matters worse some kid claims he got bird flu from your chickens so the government comes out and kills them all as a pre-election media stunt to show how pro-active they are on public health and safety. So sorry..

I wish I was a genie - this is way more fun than working!

Trundling Grunt said...

I grant your wish, but sdaly you're confined to a rusty oil lamp lying unloved and unappreciated in my parents' loft. And it smells funny in there too.

I wish I had my body from 25 year ago.

fingers said...

Congratulations, TG...you got your old body again.
Sadly, the only way to do it was to send you back to 1982, where you're suspended in time and trapped in a lift listening to 'Eye of the Tiger'...

muse said...

Fingers...you forgot to make a wish...you boob!

fingers said...

Oops, forgot to make a wish.
I wish smoking was good for me...

RAFFI said...

granted. so you smoke and smoke and become the healthiest person on the planet. however, being healthy is no longer the "in thing", so you are treated worse than a leper and confined to your own island alone with an infinite supply of cigarettes. you never die.

i wish i had more hair on my ass, enough to weave a rug or sumfin.

Small Fry and The Seal said...

your wish is granted. whilst smoking is good for you, unfortunately it is not so good for others around. your second hand smoke posesses all around you to break into britney spears' "gimme more" after stripping off their clothing to find sequined bikinis below. whilst mildly entertaining, they will all eventually go insane and lose custody of their children.

i wish the magpies would stop attacking their own reflections in my bedroom window of a morning and waking me up.

small fry

Small Fry and The Seal said...

ha ha - simultaneous commenting...!

fingers said...

Wow, so I'm like The Highlander.
Alone on my island with all the ciggies I can smoke.
Hooha !!!
'You're an immortal McDunhill...you cannot die...'

Thanks Raffi, I grant you a rugful of ass-hair, no strings attached...

Kitty said...

Shut up Fingers!

Small Fry your wish is granted. No more magpies pecking the bejesus out of your window. Unfortunately, you are so relieved that you can finally open the window to let in some fresh air, you are attacked in the night by an enormous horny kitten. Your virginity is stolen forever.

I wish Fingers hadn't fucked off to his island without me.

Winter said...

Your wish is granted Small Fry.

The magpies stop attacking their reflections in the window, but are instead replaced by a large herd of moose (flying moose if your window's not ground floor) who are madly in love with their reflections in your window and try to have "relations" with their reflection selves, at all hours day and night.

I wish I had a car that never broke down or needed repairs.

Winter said...

Damn, more simultaneous commenting! :)

fingers said...

Your wish is granted Kitty.
Welcome to the island.
Your job is to man the 24-hour souvenir store and sell little 'Fingers' statues carved from soapstone to passing cruise ship passengers.

I wish I wasn't such a cunt all the time...

Kitty said...

*Ding* Your wish is granted. You aren't a cunt all the time. Just some of the time.

Unfortunately, your new part-time cunt persona is nowhere near as irresistably attractive to all the lady bloggers in the land, and they turn their attentions elsewhere. Blast! You think to yourself, that was a mistake, they really loved me just the way I was!

I wish I didn't care what people thought of me so much.

phishez_rule said...

Granted. But you have no inspiration to lose weight and end up fat, hairy and smelly. And you wonder why you don't get sex anymore?

I wish I could have real sex tonight.

Fucking brilliant thread guys!

Kitty said...

I'm on my fourth consecutive evening of 'No thanks I have a headache Kitty'.

I getting very tense.

MissE said...

Winter - *swish* (that's the sound of my magic wand by the way) - you wish is granted. Your car no longer requires repairs nor does it break down, however, it also no longer stops. Thus you are destined to spend the rest of your life in your car, driving the roads of the Americas and begging people to hurl food through the windows... don't even ask about showering and toilet issues...

I wish I was neater and more organised.

MissE said...

phishez - Real sex it is... unfortunately it is only for tonight. Tomorrow night you discover that all you can manage for the rest of your existence is fake sex... that's right - you're gonna be faking it forever.

ooo, another wish... hmmmmm, I wish I was a vampire!

Josh said...

Misse, your wish is granted and you are now a vampire.

Unfortunately your first victim has been drinking all night and you end up as pissed as them. When you wake up in the gutter the sun is just peaking over the horizon and you self immolate before you get a chance to find cover.

I wish I was the one who got to have real sex with Phish tonight...

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Kitty...I can have Carmichael my peanut butter butler fly there and bring you back here. I don't get headaches.
As for me...my wish would be granted. Ha.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Josh- you get your wish, but you had to park in a dodgy alleyway and thieves nicked your car.

You left your wallet inside, so they have cleaned out your nank account.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

My wish?

Birmingham City beat Aston Villa 5-0 in November.

Josh said...

Crushed, your wish is granted.

Unfortunately you did not get to see that actual result because some idiot next to you threw a flare onto the field 5 minutes into the game.

With a fluke of poor CCTV camera angles it appeared to the police that you threw the flare and you were quickly arrested and sodomised for the rest of the game.

You are given a life ban as a football hooligan and will never be allowed to join your fellow bluenoses at a live game.

At least they won eh?

I wish there were some positive outcomes from all these wishes..

Kitty said...

None of it matters! Spiky wants to bed me! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Franki said...

Friggin fantastic game!

Betty Boob Hug said...

hahah, this was a great idea for a blog game.. loved my response Josh but the for the chickens, did we HAVE to kill the chickens?!!!

Josh said...

Hey Betty, don't thank me or blame me for the chickens. This is Phishez blog and ultimately it is her fault for setting the karma rules.

If it is any consolation I was really bummed that my car got stolen while shagging Phish but the upside was that it was good to finally get laid properly!

There has to be a silver lining to loosing the chickens, you just have to find it.

phishez_rule said...

Ha! I grant your wish. Some people's wishes come true. But not yours.

I wish I hadn't gotten so stressed that I spent half of last night baking...

Now I have to eat all of the crap and there goes my diet!

Sgt said...

Granted. However, you pent up stress caused you a melt down and you ran through your neighborhood naked screaming I'm a bumblebee.

I wish the idiots would stay off the road in the mornings.

Ima Wurdibitsch said...

Granted. The idiots who are normally on the road in the mornings are now living in your house and they work at your office.

I wish this game could go on forever.


Phishez, this is the coolest game. I'm definitely doing it on my blog in a couple weeks.

Kelly said...

I freaking love this game.

phishez_rule said...

I grant your wish. The game goes on forever and I get the longest comment thread in history. Unfortunately, it mutates into a forward and nobody will talk to me ever again.

I wish one of my cats hadn't just shat in the hallway.

Josh said...

Your wish is granted, unfortunately your cats decide to shit in your bed.

I wish I had something cool to wish for...

phishez_rule said...

That is funny because its true. You still wanna have sex with me in that bed?

I grant your wish. But unfortunately someone puts a damn negative spin on the outcome, and you cry yourself to sleep.

I wish I could throw out my old makeup.

Miss Smack said...

Granted. Your old make-up is in the bin, but when you go to purchase more make-up, you see Josh at the Revlon counter deciding which lipstick matches his nail polish and realise that you may well have bedded a cross-dressing transsexual. (sorry Josh !)

I wish my report gets a 'wow, she's fucking good' response from the big boss.

Sgt said...

Your wish is granted. Your big boss is so impressed, that now your only job in the company is to write their reports and their children's school reports.

I wish it was this simple to have your wished granted