Friday, February 27, 2009

No Bounds

My retardedness knows no bounds. At the most inopportune times, it will rear its highly amusing head, and leave me lying on the ground.

1) Tip for the ladies out there... When you're wearing mascara, DO NOT RUB YOUR EYES no matter how itchy they are. Observe. This one didn't happen in front of anyone.

2) I did a high ropes course last weekend. But in the Aussie bush. Heaps of fun. But I was a sore mofo the next day.

3) I just won 2 gift cards for a photography session. Yay me!!!

4) How cute are these 2?

5) I fell over again today. In front of a car. Its ok, apart from a bruised ego I sustained no injuries. Are you guys getting sick of hearing the falling over stories, or do you still find them amusing?

6) I have New Penis...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Bits and pieces

I saw He's Just Not That Into You last night. It was quite a good movie, with one moment in particular where I laughed so hard I stopped breathing.

But at the same time its a bit of a mind fuck. The movie is based on a book that the premise is - when a guy wants you, there will be no question about it. He'll want you. You are not the exception, you are the rule. But the movie is all about the exceptions. I dunno. I walked out of it going 'great movie. Boys are STOOPID!'.

Exhibit A: As we walked out of the cinema, we were behind this:

Popeye would be a great name for a penis. Think about it for half a second. Not only is he small, one eyed and ugly as fuck, but he's always willing to aid a screaming woman.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Aussie Pride

I am so proud to be an Aussie right now. With the disaster in Victoria, a country in recession manges to find personal donation of $77 million dollars. The Aussie Battler never does it alone.

And that Koala? Jeez, we've all seen the video, but it still moves me to tears. And I don't even like koalas.

In other news - not much. Check back in a few days.

Monday, February 09, 2009


Is not exactly a significant number. 131 dollars. 131 meters. 131 calories.

Its not really that big a number. Until today. 131 lives lost. The devastation I cannot put into words.

I first found out that there were fatalities through a friends facebook page. She's a firefighter out near Marysville. 26 was the number then. That was awful enough. But every time I checked, that figure changed.

Another friend - my best friends brother - updated his facebook - his family live in the middle of that area. My family friends, who I loved. I contacted my bestie, but no response.

36, then 46.

He updated a few hours later to say that they were safe in Melbourne. I breathed a sigh of relief

Someone rang and told me 66, I couldn't believe that. Later that night the toll rose to 76, then a few minutes later the news read 84. I began to clean, even though it was 11.30 at night.

How could it get worse? Easily.

This morning it was 108.

My friend rang me back today. Her family is safe and well. Their property was safe. The only thing that happened to them was the loss of her sister and brother in law's business in Marysville. I'm not really surprised, the whole town was wiped out.

I began to breathe, to hope, when the number stayed steady. But it has gone up again. Now its 131.

Some of the stories I've heard in the past two days
Horse saves farmer from blaze
Teen saves family on a tractor
When Hell came to Kinglake

They expect the toll to rise above 200.

I have no words.

Friday, February 06, 2009

My life is full of moments...

I haven't been to the gym all week. A full week without the gym, and I get a whole lot of excess energy. Throw in the fact that I ovulated, and that normally makes me a bit stir crazy, and you get this scenario...

After work, Friday afternoon. Its hot. We've done most of our work, and are doing catch ups and paperwork. We're relaxed and in a good mood. I grab my clothes to head into the facility. Feeling silly, I drop my shirt on the top of my head and drape the pants around my neck, so that I have a leg dangling down each side of my chest.

I start dancing around the corridor. Saying 'I'm ready to go in now, I'm wearing my uniform'. I turn around and there is the guy I want to fuck, standing right behind me.


Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Things that run through a girls head pre-date...

  • What will I wear tomorrow? Dress or skirt/top combo? The dress looks quite flattering, but I hate the print. Better ask gay bestie. Gay bestie says dress. Is the dress trying too hard?
  • The date's after work. Must take another bag. And makeup. And facewash. And moisturiser. And clean underwear.
  • Gotta shave legs.
  • Do I have condoms? Yep. Three different types. That should keep him happy.
  • Where are we meeting again?
  • Will he pay or do I have to take money? Do I have enough? It is just drinks and a movie. Shit I owe a work mate $20. Must go to the ATM.
  • What shoes will I wear?
  • Should I bling up? Or go au natural?
  • Have I plucked my eyebrows? Should I get the rest of the face fuzz while I'm at it?
  • Is the dress too much? I mean, it makes my shoulders look weird, though my boobs look hot.
So, I had a date last night. My first actual, proper date. I met him on findafuck. He messaged me on his second day there. I messaged back. He asked me some intriguing questions. We moved to emails. Then to texts and finally phone calls. We arranged to meet for drinks and a movie.

He was a complete gentleman. He held open doors, made way for me, took me to dinner and paid for absolutely everything. It was nice. Converstaion flowed, bu no real clickyness. No sex was going to happen, that was clear (from a geographical and morning start point of view). After about 3 hours he suddenly decided to call it a night. I was grilling him on his work (I was interested) and he was 'beginning to dwell on how much he had to do the next day'. He walked me to the train station where I got a kiss on the cheek and a one armed hug.