Thursday, November 30, 2006

Mis-ter Stab-by, do do do-do do doooo

Its tragic news peoples. Just horrible. Its been a year of utter and incomprehensible loss, and I want to go back to when Australia was just that little bit sweeter. Of course, I am talking about the loss of the Yellow Wiggle.

First Steve, then Brockie, and Belinda Emmet. And now the Wiggles. Will it never end? Is there any social group that won't be affected by out losses. Jebus has even chosen to spite the children! Though in a slightly more sedate, not dead way.

Sent off my first job application today. I'm so excited but a little bit scared. I rushed my application letter and it shows. But there are other jobs I can go for. I'm not linking anything. Cuz I don't want any other bastards applying.

At afternoon tea (the 15 minutes when we're all finished and too absolutely stuffed to do anymore work anyfuckingways) I was talking to my supervisor about my job prospects, where I want to go and so on. I didn't want to tell him I was applying for other jobs but I'm glad I did. It needs to be in the open and he understands why I'm going.

This popped into my head today and I'm going to keep it as a fast insult in future. Sensitive faces look away.

"Syphilitic persons cumrag".

Its genius if I do say so myself. Picture it.

'I'd rather eat/play with...

'You smell/look like like a...

'You're about as much fun as...

'Add other inventive phrase here...

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Viva le Jobhunt

Yep. Its time.

Sunday, November 26, 2006


Have any other bloggers experienced this phenomenon? Where you are in a situation that is maximum frustration, irritation or ‘must not choke someone’, and all you can think is ‘Blogfodder’? This is one such experience.

a.k.a ‘How to have a cheap night out’

The CHEAPEST. Let me start at the beginning. Because, as Julie Andrews sings, it’s a damn good place to start. We had big plans for last night. We were going out to dinner again. Pancakes. Such a healthy dinner. Then go home, get ready and go. We were going to a Latino bar. I’ve never been but I luurve me the dancing. So we decided it was about time. And since Rach was down, we’d take her out and show her a unique experience. Unique being the correct word.

While Rach was in the shower doing the whole shaving thing, I decided to call my sister. And the course of our conversation started at Christmas presents, and what I wanted. It was pointless asking what anybody else wanted cuz I’ve already done my shopping. I want vouchers. Let me buy my own stuff thanks. For clothes, or sex toys. Either way I’m one very satisfied chickie. Then it went on to what she’d bought the parentals. Turns out she’d bought him a magic bullet. It’s a blender thingy, but seeing as we’d just been discussing ‘toys’ my mind screamed blue bloody murder. She bought him a WHAT?!?

Then it went to parentals and sex toys. Natural progression I swear. I’ll leave it up to Jana to blog that one. And the conversation ceased. Time for me to get ready.

I jump out of the shower and get ready. Dress, shoes, makeup, hair curled. And drinking. Takes long enough but I’m finally ready to go. We wander out the door and head to the train station. On the wander my housemate and I… well the crazy was definitely showing. I told her about the conversation with my sister. And then in the next breath, started singing nursery rhymes. The poor guy behind us couldn’t cross the road fast enough.

No trains running from Parramatta. That’s fine. We can live with that. We catch the free bus to Granville and await the train there. We wait. And we wait. And we wait some more. One of my workmates wanders by, and she sits down and we start chatting.

And still we wait.

Finally there comes an announcement. All trains are delayed. Indefinitely. Uh, ok. It’s not so bad for us. My workmate lives in the city and now has no way to get home. Except by Taxi. BIG $$$. Poor girl. She just wanted to have dinner with another workmate and go home.

Its now 11.30 on a Saturday night and we’re stuck at Granville. We opt to share a taxi into the city. Will cost us all of about $12, maybe $15 each. But there are five of us. And we’d need a maxi taxi. We call the taxi company to order one. The server is busy. We try the other taxi company. Same deal. Maxi taxi pulls up at the taxi stand. ACROSS THE ROAD. We run but it’s gone. So we wait. And we call the company. And we discover Rach’s phone, which was clipped to the top of her dress, is missing.

We spot it at the same time as some random guy picks it up. Oh No He Didn’t. Drunk Phishy calmly walks up to him and informs him that its not his phone, it belongs to my friend. He’s a little thrown. I’m obviously tipsy, and he’s just scored a free phone, but I’m not going to leave without it. He hands it over and I give him big grin and thank him, complete with verbal barbie head flip.

It’s now past midnight. My workmate can’t hang around forever waiting for a taxi that might not show. And our club closes at 2. It’ll be 1 by the time we get into the city. So we decide to go our separate ways. We catch a bus back to Parramatta and they catch their taxi.

On the bus trip back we are sitting on three consecutive seats, a double each, in an empty bus. A bunch of people get on, straight from the footy. Oblivious to the completely empty bus surrounding us, one of them breaches public transport etiquette and picks the seat next to Robyn. This guy resembled a drunken jack-o-lantern, complete with full sized Aussie flag. And proceeded to chat her up. She was standing to get off the bus about 3 minutes before it approached the station.

And we walked home, watched movies and ate chips. Dressed to the nines. Looking absolutely stunning. All sitting on my bed. An eventful Saturday night.

The only reason I didn’t cry (apart from the fact I was completely wasted) was the thought that I could blog it.


Saturday, November 25, 2006


Oh how I heart time away from work. If i didn't need the money so damn badly I'd have packed it all in by now.

My friend Rach, from uni, is visiting. So I have three days (plus a weekend) away from work. Bliss. Spent yesterday exploring Paddys Market in the city. And got bored by about the second row. Having seen everything by that stage, and was facing the prospect of about 60 more rows of the same clothes, irritating noisy flashing toys, wigs, jewellery, souveniers and bags. Oh, and occasionally there were socks too. If it had a bit of variety it would have been heaven, but... *le sigh*.

I also got to spend the day cathing up with my best friend from high school. Which was awesome. I don't keep in touch with many of them, so any chance to spend decent time with someone that I do... If I didn't already have the time off I'd've taken another Aussie sicke.

So the three of us explored the market, then took a ferry ride, and went back to her hotel and sat around and gossiped with her family. Then we went to dinner at pancakes on the rocks. I heart that place! And there were markets by moonlight there too! Very different to Paddys. The people, the wares for sale, the atmosphere. Must go there again.

Had myself a latin dance class social that night too. So went home, got changed, put on a bare minimum of makeup, and out the door again. Danced my butt away until about midnight. Went home, got changed again and went out clubbing. Dragging my tired arse and weary feet home at three. Then had to wait while the other two showered before I could have my turn. So my head hit the pillow about four.

A very full day in all.

Monday, November 20, 2006

How not to meet your neighbours.

I'm having a shite day. My subconcious has hit self destruct. Please ginore any spelling mistakes. Too much alcohol plus I gont give a dman anymore. moving on...

The other night my housemate and I were being complete nigels and staying at home on a friday (or Saturday) night. Shut up. It was like, two weeks ago. Who's supposed to remember that far back?

Anyhoo. My roomie comes into my room and tells me there are guys swimming in the pool belonging to the apartment block just over from us. We sit at my window for a bit and watch. Need I say neither of us is getting any? There seem to be five or six guys, young and energetic.

We move out to the balcony and watch for a bit more. Then we come to the conclusion that we're never going to actually meet these guys, and decide to 'interact' a bit more with them. And by that I mean yell shit at them.

Starts off with the very common and rarely misconstrued 'Hi'. Then moves rapidly on to shit like
  • Are you having a party
  • you're hot
  • Are you gay
  • Go you big red fire engine
  • I like peanut butter

Courage is knowing there will be no consequences.

The next day they are swimming in the pool again. But its daylight. We stand in the kitchen and marvel how much the dark can make these ugly, hairy guys look hot. We decided to avoid the balcony for the day.

You know, just in case they looked up and saw us.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

The aftermath

My jaw is swollen beyond regonition. Take a look at my profile pic. My normall round-to-heart-shaped face is normal above the cheekbones. But below... I have a jaw that rivals Paris Hiltons. One side is worse than the other. Obviously. The swelling is actually really low down. So where Paris' jaw goes out in lumpy bits, one side of mine goes down!

I'm bruised on one side of my mouth. And under my tongue. I still can't really talk. I don't even talk to myself anymore. Now nobody talks to me :(

Still having difficulty eating. Had to turn my planned chicken fillet last night into chicken nuggets, just to fit it in my mouth. I had Hungry Jacks for dinner that night. Hadn't eaten since morno tea time and needed something to dilute the blood I'd swallowed. Hungry Jacks was the softest fast food I could think of. So having to squish my burger into a pancake, taking tiny tiny bites out of one side of my mouth, and fastidiously chewing on one side... it took me half an hour just to eat my damn burger!

Oh. Big news coming up. Stay tuned folks.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

numb is good

So I went to the dentist today. Rang up this morning and got slotted in this afternoon. Very lucky, I suppose.

Got in there. Sat in the dreaded chair and had the blinding hot light flashed straight into my eyes. Ahhh. Some things never change. The guy hasn't even poked my mouth and I'm terrified. I tell him what the probelm was and he glances at the tooth. Immediately he orders it to be x rayed. He's not even going to examine it. No need to tap or scratch it with the sharp pointy thing.

While the x ray is being developed he comes back and gives me a shot of local.

The x ray reveals that the tooth is absolutely stuffed. From the outside it appears to be fine. One black dot and a teensy bit of lightening on the top. To keep it would cost $1500 minimum. I'm not in a health fund. So the only option is to take it the fuck out. Its at this stage that I was glad I'd nicked into the bathroom and done business in there, cuz I'd be pissing myself by now otherwise.

He asks how numb my mouth is. I tell him its comfortably numb, but I wouldn't object to a bit more local. He obliges. It seems theres a bit of trepidation in regards to pulling my teeth. You see, I have an excellent bone structure. Nice thick, well developed bones. Including my jaw. And the roots of my teeth - lovely and thick. Those babies are never falling out. Not even with help.

He loosens it. I'm loving that local by now. Grabs it with the pliers. And the tooth shatters. Here I am trying to breathe and tooth chips come flying around my mouth. Then comes the drill. Not sure what that was for. Not game to ask. I stare off over his shoulder, whishing I was somewhere else, and thinking that there are better things to be doing with my mouth stretched wide open for so long.

With a crunching sound I feel it come out. Huzzah! But I celebrate too soon. Its only half, and the other one is just as stubborn as the first.

Two stitches and $150 later I'm back on the street. Wondering if he wiped all of the blood off my face, and if I'm going to be making small children cry just by smiling at them.

I am thoroughly sick of having a numb face. I'm sick of drooling red crap every time I change the gauze in my mouth. I bleed too. The bleeding was supposed to stop after an hour and a half. Its been two hours. Its definitely slowed. But no where near stopped.

This led me to think. While I've been down in Sydney I've been conciously assessing guys by thier genetics. I put this down to the fact that the future husband can't have kids. He has told me that whoever he marries will have to get pregnant to someone else for him to have a family. I know I have poorly designed teeth. They are prone to all kinds of dental badness. While I've been looking for guys to compliment my own genes, I do want to improve the teeth for my future generations.

Did I say I was sick of having a numb face? The anaesthetic is starting to wear off. I want the numb back.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Its, Its, Its BANALITY

I went into the city to do a favour for a mate. Waiting to be served at the apple store and this guy was talking about his mac book pro. Every sentence it was 'my mac book pro...' It was like he was name dropping it. And it was just as irritating!

I have a phobia of the dentist. Apparently its time to face my fears. Hope he's young and cute. They're a hell of alot easier to face then.

I was talking to a mate of mine from Victoria the other night. She's recently had laproscopic surgery and is in quite a bit of pain. Its recently been her boyfriends birthday and I suggested that seeing as she couldn't give him special cuddles she might give him special kisses. That was out of the question because she gets all jonesed up. I said it that was good because he can give her special kisses in return. And she told me (and I quote) "I can't do that because I've got a hole down there too." Uh, Ange, sweets. I thought that was kinda the point. Turns out they entered from there with the surgery too.

I saw one of my dancing boys at work the other day. It was really quite funny, because we were talking for about 20 seconds, and all of a sudden the penny dropped that I didn't know him from work.

I can cook. No secret. Especially if you read my blog. Which you're doing now. So you should know that. The last two weeks I can count on one hand the number of times I've eaten at home. But thinking about dinner tonight was trying to pick what to eat at a favourite restaurant. Should I have the bolognase, or mango chicken, or mean nachos (I call them mean because you'd smack your mother in the face if she got between you and them), or a parmy, or a laksa... The list goes on. Take out doesn't seem to measure up when you're looking at a menu like that.

It can be quite a shit when your family reads your blog.

Jana, I love you to bits, but you will know what its like soon enough, so don't take offense.

There are times when I want to rant and rave about my family. With my family theres a hell of alot to complain about. But when I want to get stuff off my chest most I hold back. Because once I've ranted, I feel better and I normally don't feel like discussing it later on. And when I do talk to her, I know she will want to discuss it.

There are times when I simply don't feel like discussing with ANY family. But am more than happy to tell people who aren't on the inside all the gory details.

I use my blog as a medium to get stuff off my chest. And when its gone I don't want it back.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


My internet connection has been a little exey of late. I think I dropped my wireless receiver thingy too many times. Oops! So will be back to regular blogging (including reading and commenting) soon. This was written over a couple of days, so may be a tad disjointed.

The post I promised for the other day - still on its way. Its art in words. Though I do have perfectionist tendancies, so I have to finish it, proof read, and make sure that I put everything in it that I wanted. Will be around next week sometime.

Recently there has been quite a lot of roadworks done near my work. This includes adding a few extra lanes near a roundabout. Making the roundabout, that was never really round, a circle. But because it is a kind of elongated intersection anyways, the new roundabout is not located in the centre, where it should be!

Coming in to work one morning this week, and the guy on the left, who is supposed to give way to me, is already sitting there, waiting. Since you don’t have time to get around the intersection once the person on your right (in this case, me) enters, I assumed he used it regularly, and was being polite. Then I get halfway around the roundabout and nearly collide, head on, with someone COMING THE WRONG WAY AROUND THE ROUNDBOUT! She just looked at me, looked around, and went on her merry way.

I was so stunned I couldn’t even beep her. I don’t think I could have reacted any more if I saw a giraffe just wandering across the road.

I got told today that I think too much. Its true. And it is a curse. I truly hate it.

I have never slept well. Since I was about 16 I've woken up at about 3.30 in the morning. Most nights its at least twice, but recently it has escalated to about three times. Proper woken state. I could watch TV, blog, read a book, I am that with it. And I usually lasts for half an hour to an hour. Sometimes more. But I just want to go back to sleep. So I don't do any of that.

And I end up thinking. Sometimes its no biggie. Sometimes my mind will just jump to the events of a few months back. Theres nothing to distract me, and its always at the back of my mind. So it surfaces from the dark, oily depths of my subconcious. Or I'll have a really sickening, disturbing dream. And I wont want to go back to sleep at all. So I actively try to stay awake.

I can't remember the last time I slept through the night. I have taken sleeping pills and I still wake up and think. And I think like that during the day too.

I hate the SR right now because he was the one to tell me that. We're friends now. Thats it. It was a mutual decision. No biggie. He sent me an ambiguous text and I had to ring him to get it clarified. But it was just stated as a fact, as a part of the conversation to try to get me to not worry about it. But I've been overthinking it and its absolutely beating me up today. And I still haven't figured out why.

I went to dancing last night, leaving a stack of songs on my download list. My net connection has been pretty exy lately, so I had two songs completed. When I got back about 3 hours later - about 30 songs completed! Whoa!!!

Two songs I'm absolutely loving right now - Through Glass by Stone Sour, and Lips of an Angel by Hinder. Loved them to bits from the first time I heard them.

Question: Is it ok to give someone a hand me down gift?

The item in particluar is something I have recently upgraded, and I know of someone else who desperately wants one, but don't need it urgently enough to go and get it themself. The original value of this item is worth more than my entire christmas budget for my family.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Self tanning

I'm out of ideas right now. Nothing fresh. Not a thing. Will spout tons of shite tomorrow. Be a banalityfest to end all fests.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Reasons I'm an idiont #6246

I burnt my mouth yesterday. I'm not talking 'Thats hot in my mouth' burnt. I'm talking blisters. I actaully blistered the roof of my mouth. In two places. Its not particularly painful, but it is the most... unique feeling.

It kinda stung when I ran my tongue over it, but in a good way. So when I got home I decided to try the pain tolerance of my mouth...

by eating chips...

hard, poky chips....

of the salt and vinegar variety.

I didn't think that one through really well.

If my mouth could detatch itself from my face it would have beaten me over the back of the head until all of the stupid fell out.