Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Banality and Sex... who'd've thunk it?

How funny are 69 jokes?

I was doing some basic math at work today. And I had to add 46 and 23. And when I saw the result I actually smirked and did a mental giggle. I'm 23 FFS! And then I turned to Married Man, who was concentrating on his work at the bench beside me, and out of the blue said "Does 69 ever become unfunny?"

He just twitched and looked at me. I don't think he was expecting that.

And apparently I have a life time of laughing at a number ahead of me.


I think there is a prostitute living in my building.

She would be in her mid 30's I guess. Maybe a bit older. I wouldn't say she's beautiful or pretty, but she's definitely not unattractive. She drives a penis extension car, and fuck me dead she dresses skanky! Skanky to the max with a little bit of 'are you wearing pants' mixed in. Complete with see through clothes for 'work'.

And yes. I'm serious about the wearing pants. My tortured eyeballs have witnessed it.

I don't find her choice to be a worry to me. I find it to be hellishly entertaining.

For instance, today we were in the lift together and she told me that it seemed like she'd done twice the normal amount of work today.

I couldn't actually form words. My brain was laughing so hard.


Cazzie!!! said...

I am laughing so hard with you, just to picture it all, LOL. My life is soo boring :(

mist1 said...

69 never gets unfunny. I used to play Bingo for a charitable cause. I am not 70. It was very cool. Seriously. The hosts of the event were Elvis impersonators. Every time they called O69 they would pick someone out of the crowd, drag them up to the front and bump and grind and gyrate all over them while saying O69 over and over again. It was funny every single time.

Also, I'm worried that I'm your neighbor. Except for that whole mid 30s thing. I prefer to go pantsless or nearly pantsless.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I'm a bit slow...What's a penis extension car?

Steph said...

Oh a hooker for a neighbour? cool, she'll tell you where you can buy lube in bulk....or so I'm told.

phishez_rule said...

Cazzie - my life isn't that interesting. I just have a twisted mind!

Mist - Pantless is fun. But not in public.

Ingsoc - Its a very high powered, expensive car. In this case a convertible. It is called a penis extension because guys seem to be compensating for having a small penis.

Steph - Haha. I've seen lube in 5 litre containers. Seriously. Its fucking heavy! I don't think I could ever use that much in my entire life!

poody said...

I laugh at all kinds of things like if someone says balls or turd! I am a retartd though for sure. I used to have a hooker for a neighbor too. She never brought her work home though! She and I talked about our prespective jobs and she was so making more money than me. Take a photo of the neighbor I am dying to see what she looks like!

phishez_rule said...

Poody - She looks pretty rough, and I don't think she'd appreciate me taking a photo of her for my blog just because I think she's a prostitute.

Professor said...

the fact that you blended a 69 observation and a hooker story into one seemless post makes me laugh, and love you even more! oh the irony! LMAO!