Sunday, January 08, 2012

I feel pretty, oh so pretty...

Anyone who denies the existance of their ass hair is an ignorant fuck.

Last night I got massively drunk. So drunk in fact, that I woke up this morning with the taste of stale beer and garlic pizza in my mouth (diet fail), and checked the bed for 'accidents'. Thats only funny cuz there weren't any. Win!

Anyhoo, I hit the shower to make myself feel human again. I scrubbed everything, shaved and moisturised, and treated my hair. And whilst I was lady-scaping, I decided to reach back and shave my arse hair.

Now, I don't have a lot of arse hair. Just a few strands. About as much as a pubescent boys nipple hair. Not enough to really require shaving, but I do it anyway. Just to complete the baby smoothness.

It used to be quite easy to get rid of said strands. Reach back, spread cheeks with one hand, razor with the other. Hope not to nick myself. But since I've become more rotund, that just doesn't work anymore. I can't get two hands back there. So to spread the cheeks (as best I could, I had to kinda crouch down and bend over, legs spread but knees in, all in my tiny shower cubicle. And still hope not to nick myself.

And I discovered something quite strange. I'm a ranga butt. My arse hair is (was?) a lovely shade of  light copper. Go figure. Naturally, I'm an ashy auburn colour. My bikini line is dark brown/black. My arse... ranga. If I had that colour on my head, I'd shave it off too.

Well, I'm human now. No more ranga butt for me!


Fenstar de Luxe said...

aw no way is a razor going down there for me, I use Nair, easy peasy and gone so quickly!!

Ute said...

HAHAHAHA! I fkn love how you've broached the bum hair subject!

I do mine regularly. And yes, with a razor.
I don't ever have a problem. I sort of bend and feel my way round.
Never ever cut myself.
Ain't nothing quite like a smooth bum. :oD

phishez said...

Fen - I couldn't use nair on my arse. For one, it burns. And two, it means I've got something squishy between my butt cheeks for 6 minutes.

Ute - Trust me, if you cut yourself, it really does bring tears to your eyes. Thankfully, its not a common occurence.

Ben said...

Gross. Men don't have bum hair. Well that's what pornographers have led me to believe.

phishez said...

Ben - Pron tells me that women also love it up the arse. I must be a freak then...