Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I'm baaack.

So I'm a dirty, dirty liar. I really was going to give up blogging, but this lettle juicy nugget was waaay to gold to leave alone.

I met someone. On findafuck. We'd spent about 3 weeks talking, emailing, texting, chatting. It was full on, all the time. We clicked. I liked him, he liked me. We had had cybersex. The tension was rife.

It took about 2 weeks to arrange a meet. Finally one night I was home, we wasn't busy. He came over.

And there is a whole world of problems that have arisen. All was going well, having heaps of fun, getting hot and heavy. Clothes come off. And nothing.

He couldn't get it up!

He was embarrassed. I took it in my stride. I mean, it happens. He put his clothes on and fled. I thought it could have been me. I mean, he was into me until the clothes came off.

I gave it a few days and sent him a message telling him I still enjoyed hanging out, and asking if he'd be interested in trying again. His response: yeah it was fun, but we didn't really 'click' after the movie.

WTF?!?

We didn't click? We didn't click sexually?!? How does he know we didn't click sexually? We didn't have sex!!!

So, if you don't have a comment on the above situation, I have to ask...

What's your biggest sex disaster?

20 comments:

sparsely kate said...

OH MAN, and all that build up. Grrrr.

I hate that he blamed it on you and the lack of a vibe. Sheesh.

I had that airplane cleaner go all soft and floppy on me. That was back in 1987 since that's just about the last time I got jiggy with it in da bedroom - but still. I remember.

Oh penis's. Such hard work! :)

xl said...

Glad you're back Phishy!

I can't imagine what Mr Floppy's problem is.

Sex disaster? Not enough!

Clyde said...

You intimidating sex godess
Hey, like you said---Mr floppy happens----keep on going

Fanny F said...

Sex disaster? I've had a few ...
Same as you, Phish, non-functionus erectus. Also Premature. Parmesan. Problem where penis was connected to arsehole ... not literally, metaphorically.

Ben said...

He's fucking gay if he can't get it up when in your presence.

I only get floppy when I drink too much... got to find the right balance of being pissed (so I'm a bit more wild), but not tragically pissed (where I pass out and they steal my wallet).

Kitty said...

he's a fucking wankstain.

ignore it. it's HIS fail, not yours babe. xx

Epskee said...

Biggest sex disaster?

ME.

Plain and simple

The Mutant said...

Oh my lord - click all you like but if he's going to be like that about it then maybe y'ought just forget about him.

As for sexual disasters, where to I begin. Would you like to hear about the time I passed out during sex, the guy who pissed himself in my bed after sex or the barrage of oddly disfunctional, fetishists with no personality that I've managed to take home over the years? Up to you dear.

kimba said...

oh Phish.. many many men on findafuck are of the sexual loser persuasion..
the women, however, are all gorgeous x

Cazzie!!! said...

Knew you'd come back, pardon the punn!!
Umm, sex disaster... thinkin' here.... Probably when my Nan lived with us and she would come into our bedroom at an unGodly hour and switch on the light to ask "Nurse..where is the toilet?" OMG..too bad we were at it like rabbits sometimes..and well, I am just glad she was none the wiser :)

Ms Smack said...

I think it's cool of you to give him the benefit of the doubt with nervous, and what not with his flaccid pee pee. Shame he wasn't man enough to reciprocate the kindness.

Lad Litter said...

d) all of the above

*~Dani~* said...

To me, it sounds like he has this problem often, hence all of the amazing internet/texting, etc, but maybe he chanced that it would not happen again. Since it did, though, he is too embarrassed to see you again. He needs to get off findafuck though.

Here's to the next one you find...

Josh said...

Using the wrong person's name is always a moodkiller, speaking from personal experience.

unique_stephen said...

disaster. hmmm, I've be known to not be able to get it up the third time at a swap night.
oh the embarrassment.

fingers said...

Next time instead of taking it in your stride, take it in your mouth and encourage the poor bastard...

Fusion said...

It was rank of him to blame his problem on you. Be a man and admit floppy just happens, for a multitude of reasons. But I'd find someone else too, based on his response. Wanker...

Spiky Zora Jones said...

sweetie...it isn't you honey. You're beautiful and much desired. He has someone or recently had someone in his life. He felt as if he was betraying/cheating on them. That's why he couldn't get it up after a bit of play and the clothes were off. The momment of truth, isn't that what it's called.

Anyway...that or he really has a medical issue and should see a doctor.

Don't think for an instant that it was you.

later sweets.

Moi said...

Yay, your back!

Unfortunately my work banned your blog, so I can't waste my days away being entertained by you :(

Effortlessly Average said...

My biggest sexual disaster?

Mistaking the Crest Fresh Mint for the anal lube.