The curse of the broken gina continues

I'm a sucker for punishment. Time and time again I've been told to stay away from a guy and I keep going back. Sometimes I tell myself that it doesn't really matter, that I'm not emotionally invested and never really will be.

This time it was different. I'm not saying that to justify it to anybody. This guy was better than the others. But I guess that even the better guys are inconsiderate scum.

Because he seemed better than the avarage amoeba I gave him a second shot. I zipped him a quick text asking if he wanted to reshedule. Two days ago. And have not heard a response.

I can be a little slow on the uptake when it comes to guys. I'm usually quite the realist (read: pessimist) when it comes to the way guys see me. But everything I knew told me this guy was interested. When I spoke to him early in the week he actually seemed surprised that I was talking about work stuff. So I didn't really see that coming.

I might get blown off once. But it rarely happens twice, and NEVER a third time. So unless he makes a damn sincere effort to change my mind (and it will take quite alot of work!) this is the last post about mancandy.

"Feel it on my fingertips"

Its raining outside. Beautiful, life giving rain. Its been a bit warm lately. And the temperature has dropped to perfection. I can hear the cars outside, swooshing through the wet. I don't envy their drivers. Occasionally a siren will go off, followed by the blast of a horn as the emergency driver tries to navigate his way through the bustle of peak hour.

Outside the sky is grey. Tonights beautiful sunset has been robbed. The skyline is obscured by a thick grey curtain. It dims the light. I should be able to see out, at the distant lights, but they are beyond the monotony. I stare out, and a breeze caresses my cheek, reminding me of the good things to come. Change is inevitabe, though independant of our needs and desires. Not unlike the coming of the rain.

Life goes on, and the world still turns. And I await the rain, the life giver who rejuvenates my soul.

The Outrage!!!

Someone has been using my car for spare parts. While Clancy was parked in the locked garage in the basement someone violated him and took his drivers side windscreen wiper. The whole fucking thing!

Because he's a happy 2004 model, nobody is wrecking them yet. And I have to buy myself a nice new and very expensive replacement. It makes me SOOO mad!

Blogworthy indeedy.

So I had plans for tonight. I had, for the first time EVER in my life. Asked a guy out. Asked an amazing, hot, sweet, fantastic guy out. Actually made plans for dinner, using the actual phrase 'go out' lots in the conversation.

And astoundingly he said yes!

So I've been so excited for the last few days. Its exhausting. Literally.

Today was the big day. All he had to do was tell me what time he would finish work and we'd arrange meeting place/time from there. But considering recent arrangements I've had, and my propensity for the scummy side of man, I had a nagging paranoia that he would call to tell me he couldn't make it, or even worse, he wouldn't call at all.

See I have the theory that if you dont have high expectations you cannot be let down. I can't imagine how crushed I'd be right now if I didn't have that theory.

He bailed.

I'd like to send personal thanks to SR for all of his help. I'd be a blubbering, drunken mess without all of his preparations. Thanks to him I don't have the capacity to hurt. Instead I feel anger. I'm now an angry, jilted drunken mess. Much better.