What went wrong with today

I think it would be quicker to tell you about what went right. I had today all planned out, looking after my breeders first, then going into my main areas, with time left over for a massive joint cleaning session.

I had to count a co-workers animals, because he's on holidays and, because it’s the end of the month, I had to do what is best described as a monthly summary. I got more animals than he had at his last count, only no more had arrived between then and now. I couldn't use our record book because he uses his differently to what I’m used to. Then when I thought I had it all worked out, there were more deceased animals on the cards than on any records, and the ones in the records weren't matching the days that some of the cards indicated dead animals were discovered.

So naturally trying to wrap my head around this put me back a few hours. I went from there into my usual areas but I barely had time to do the change, which was supposed to have been done yesterday. I never got time to do my share of the joint cleaning. After this I had three other areas to check, and I had to call someone to get them into the facility to instruct them on applying some relief cream to some tails (gotta love working in an institution). She was supposed to come down just after morning tea, but she ended up arriving when we were supposed to be finishing everything off. And I still have to monitor her animals very closely because I have the very deep, very well based suspicion that she’s going to ignore everything I told her today. And during all of this I kept getting my supervisor coming in and telling me that I'd missed this; or to not do this job, do this instead: and why was this box left here, its been there for two or three days now (I’d had Monday off, so I’d only been at work two days, and checked that area once this week). Just one of those frustrating days.

At least I can laugh at the mouse bite on my thumb. Hurts like hell.

ZooFun

Today I saw lions, and tigers, and there were giraffes, and zebras. And not that many trees. Thus I went to Kenya.

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/kenya/

BOOZE ON WORLD

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

"You Look Like a Wingnut"

You know how there are moments that you think something totally inappropriate and it makes you want to act accordingly... well, today I was in a meeting with my boss. As he was looking at me and I thought 'you look like a wingnut' (not sure why, he doesn't even has big ears). Almost cracking up, I then had the thought that what if life was really like pop-up-video, and a huge thought bubble (complete with blue edging) erupted out of my head with that statement in it. With this visual haunting my mind, I couldn't keep the smirk off my face. My boss must have thought I had lost it.
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I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia :)-
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorant.