Saturday, January 31, 2015

Incident

Holy hellll. HUUUUGE incident at dog training today. Dog nearly died. Do I have your attention?
So at the end of dog training today we were doing the final exercise. Restraint. The trainer borrowed a class dog. A french bulldog.
She gets into position and starts to restrain the dog. Dog struggles. She holds dog firmly but not harshly. Suddenly she stops and puts the dog down. She says 'there's blood' and there was a little bit coming from him mouth. Then he's on the ground and the trainer is screaming 'BAILEY! BAILEY!' The whole thing took about 15 seconds.
Trainer sends owner to get first aid kit and other owner steps in. I hand Dexs lead to another guy and suddenly I'm on the ground in front of the dog. I don't remember getting down. I'm just there. I explain that I'm a vet nurse so they don't think I'm just interfering. Dog is breathing but barely, and bleeding from the mouth. He's in the hands of the second owner. I instruct him to hold the dogs rear end slighy high so the blood can just drain out. At some point the dog poos himself. We swab out a few clots to clean the mouth as well as possible.
I go to throw out dexs poo bag and give first owner a hug. She's on the phone to the vets and they want to make an appointment. She asks if that's ok but i advise against it. She explains is an emergency then disappears. We presume she's gone to get the car.
I get back to the scene. Dog has slightly laboured breathing but breathing on his own. Then he goes limp, vomits and struggles breathing again. The three of us start to stimulate breathing.
At this point first owner returns. They grab the dog and rush him to the nearest vet. This really worries me because he's not stable at this stage and they don't know first aid.
Trainer goes to call big boss. I clean up poo/vomit/blood/first aid supplies and after the bin go to check on her. She's on the phone, fallen to pieces. I give her a hug. Phone rings. Big boss. She tries to explain what happened then passes the phone to me. Big boss asks who he's speaking to. I identify myself and tell him i did his dog trainer course. He remembers me. I inform him what has happened. It wasn't her fault. He agrees with me. She did nothing wrong.
I ask if someone else can take over training for the day. He has no one but asks if i can cancel the days training on his behalf.
I leave trainer with another student while i go to get dex and pack up trainers stuff. I explain to the next class (that saw the tail end of the incident) that trainer is in no shape to continue to train that day. They completely understand. Then i take her stuff back to the car.
I have zero intention of letting her drive until calm, so i tell her I'm taking her for a coffee.
Owners come back as we're moving off. Dog has fluid on lungs but isn't on oxygen. They've given 'anaphylactic medicine' and will observe. I tell them we're all going for a coffee.
So we move to the cafe in the park. We're there an hour when big boss calls to tell me he's on his way. We wait around and chat. I manage to calm them down, but they're still pretty upset.
Big boss comes in and everyone goes to pieces again. But he's satisfied that this was a freak accident. He gets vet details and the coffee bill. Which i was prepared to get but he offered.
We split up soon after and i give trainer one last hug.
I've since heard from big boss. He popped into the vets and the dog was doing well. He should be home by now.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

How Embarrassment

So I work sitting down all day. And it was a good few hours between breaks. I desperately needed to go to the loo and when I do I realise I'm alone. I let rip a series of farts, for about 30 seconds. So deep and satisfying my boobs shake from the vibrations.

I think I'll never wipe the smile from my face. When I hear the soft but distinct sound of toilet paper being pulled from a dispenser.

Oh the shame. I give her ample opportunity to leave. She soaps. I sit and wait. She rinses. I put on my pants. She dries her hands. I stand there, waiting to go. Then... I dunno. I think she checks her make up or some shit. What happened to the ladies toilet code, where you leave as soon as possible to give the other person a chance to have dignity remain intact?

Luckily I don't care about others opinions.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

What if...

... the facebook servers NEVER come back online?

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Bits n bobs.

So far No Junk January hasn't worked out as well as I'd hoped. However, I choose to look at the positives. I have definitely eaten healthier. I do feel like I feel better. A few slip ups does not undo my hard work.

I had a plan to catch up with an old high school friend this week. Unbeknownst to me, she had another old high school mate staying with her. I went all '16 year old excited' when I saw her get out of the car. I almost ran up to her! They were only here for 3 hours but it was awesome. We went through my high school photo album, as well as the year books. Insane shit.

I'd just had some books delivered and they were on the couch. Ange picked one up and we started talking about the Tomorrow When The War Began series. She commented she'd like to get her daughter into reading them. Last night. I ordered the whole set for her. She doesn't know. Can't wait until she gets them!

Yesterday I took bun to the vets. She was desexed earlier in the week so she needed a check up. The vet wasn't good with bunny and bunny got upset. Bunny shed extra allergens and I reacted. Badly. Within an hour my eye was swollen shut. Its still swollen 24 hours later. But at least I can see.

Monday, January 19, 2015

No Junk January

So I went to the pet store and weighed myself on Thursday. Then spent thurs and fri in bed with a migraine. Saturday was a bit full on so on Sunday I went grocery shopping. I spent $130 on fresh food. I pledged to do No Junk January for the remainder of the month.

So Sunday I made fruit salad, prepped veggies for steaming through the week, made a bunch of ready-to-go salads for work and marinated a few bags of lean chicken breast for cooking pretty much straight from the oven.

I also made breakfast muffins. Which are damn yummy but a bit fiddly to make. So i doubled the batch to last longer. Recipe to follow.

After spending the day on the kitchen, i had nothing for dinner and no cooking mojo. So i had lasagne. It was cheesy and greasy and altogether... a bit too much. But its gone now.

Today i did well. Breakfast muffin for brekky. Fruit salad for morning tea, salad for lunch, fruit salad for arvo tea, almonds to nibble on. I had steak out for dinner, but i was ravenous when i got home and it world take too long to cook, so i had an extra snack of white corn tortilla chips and dip.

I know, I know. Tortilla chips? I had them already, they were open and they were there. I thought the basil dip would be ok. Then i checked the label.  34% fat. Fail.

Again.  Something I already had.

So dinner was a delicious steak, some oversteamed veggies and mashed sweet potato with abouta tablespoon of butter to bring it together.

And fuck me, but eating healthy today was hard work.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Millionth times the charm.

I weigh 170kg. I think I need to resume diet, excercise and blogging.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Byrd

"A Phish may love a Byrd Senior, but whre would they live?"
I have named the crush. Byrd. Because I am Phish, and he (when I named him) seemed unattainable.

So girls have a huge problem with overthinking. I am no exception. I flirt. Like I breathe. Its natural. And guys flirt back. So its difficult for me to tell if they are just flirting because I am, or if they are really interested.

So. To that overthinking thing.

He said, one day as he was leaving, 'hopefully I'll see you soon'. And when he leaves, he gives me a wave and calls out to let me know he's going. Now, I know that I know whats going on. And other people realise that too. But his work ends when it ends. And he can just go home. He is a subcontractor, and I am a grunt. He doesn't nee my approval. Then again, I do tend to be friendly and ask him what time he's taking off. So maybe he's just responding to that. Maybe he just likes that someone shows an interest in him. Maybe its a subconscious response.

He smokes too. Normally a huge turn off. Except he smokes rollies, and they smell kind of earthy. Which I like. But he has smokers teeth. Again, bad teeth are normally a turn off. Those 2 are usually serious deal breakers for me. But when I noticed those, I was like 'whatever'.

Anyway. The other day there was a malfunction at work, and there was yoghurt EVERYWHERE. We were picking up broken tubs and emptying them down the drain, when he dropped one. And it splattered yoghurt all over his legs, chest and face. And he just paused for a moment while I giggled. The look on his face was clearly 'oh fuck off', but not directed at me. I made a joke that he was wearing black, and it would show up and look dodgy as hell. Oh yes. I made a cum joke. Thinking back, I could have segued into a dating joke 'that usually happens after the third date' type of thing.

Anyway, he went and cleaned himself up. And when he came back to work, he was cleaning the robot. And he stood up directly under the mechanism and smacked his head on it. Poor bugger is the man version of Bridget Jones.

Sunday, September 02, 2012

Friday, August 31, 2012

Crush

I'm 29 years old. Single. Female.
More brains than beauty. Wicked sense of humor and an insatiable sexual appetite. And I can cook. Damn near the perfect woman. But I'm happy to be single. I like my bed to myself. Well, as 'to myself' as having 3 cats gets.

And I've lived life.

So it doesn't make sense that I am suddenly incapacitated by a crush. Seriously. An idle interest in a guy has turned into a full blown butterflies-in-stomach, dropping things,             dumbfounded, speechless, blushing, nervous crush. And I know where it  all started.

Watch this video. Not because its funny, that's just a perk. But listen for the noise the pig makes at the end.        

He made a moderately funny joke, and topped it off with THAT noise. And I knew I'd be in trouble.

Is he stunningly good looking? No. But he's nice. And very smart. And he has busted me in the throes of pre vomit. Oh yes. It wouldn't be me if I didn't vomit on or near a crush.
                                            
I watch him now. When he's around. I try not to, but I'm afraid that someone will notice. I don't think I'm  obvious, but I can't be sure. And I have to think of conversation starters before I can talk to him.

And I won't do anything. Not that I'm shy. But because everything about this guy screams 'engaged'. I have never spoken to him about anything other than his work, but when my instincts are saying something this specific, they are very, very rarely wrong.

So I shall go on dropping things, randomly blushing, stuttering, smiling for no reason and humming to myself. Let's see if anyone notices the difference...

Friday Fuzzies








Sunday, August 26, 2012

Sundays Sexy Seven - Animals

To make up for last week, this one has a few extras.















Friday, August 24, 2012