So I guess its that time of year again. Time to look back, reflect, take stock, and move on. Kind of like the end of a bad break up.
Looking back
So I had 4 resolutions this year
1) Lose wiehgt - WIN!
2) Be the best I can at my job - win.
3) more sex - fail.
4) have a threesome - fail.
Not really that bad.
Reflecting
2009 was a tough year for me. Aside from the fact that Dad almost died... yeah, that's about all that fucked it up for me. That was a particularly tough time. I count my blessings though. Dad came out of the coma after 2 weeks, made a speedy recovery and is quite well these days. He does have some aspect of brain damage, but it does not show. At all. He is back to work. The only thing is that he has a limp. Probably because he went in for knee reconstruction surgery. Aside from that he has slowed down a bit. He has difficulty getting through a 40 hour work week. And he has moved to a smaller place, because his big place, with big garden, was too much for him.
For me, this really changed my perspective on life. I never wanted kids before that. But when Dad was dying, all I could think was 'he's never had grandkids'. Its taught me that life is short. And you have to make the most of the moment that you have. You can hear it all you want, but until you actually live it, it might not sink in.
The other big aspect of 2009 was the 12 week challenge. Which I absolutely nailed!!! Met some awesome people, had fun, and really pushed my boundaries. And then it ended, and I ate, and put about half of it back on. *sigh* But, oddly enough, I'm not worried. I have a higher respect for my body nowdays. I am in no rush to lose it all either. I am back on track with eating right, and I still love to exercise, so I will lose it in time. I just want to fit back into my post-challenge jeans.
Taking stock
This year has changed me. It was rough, and tough. But I feel like I am a better person because of it. Not only was there a psychological change, but a physical one to match it.
Moving on
Next year I have different resolutions.
1) Maintain healthy lifestyle. This includes losing the last few kilo's, but its more about being fit and healthy, making smart choices, eating right and learning to love my body, just the way it is.
2) Manage finances a bit better. Ideally I'd like to pay off a reasonable sum off the credit card, and cut the limit as I do so. I'm not aiming to pay it off. I don't think that is a reachable goal, but I'd like to get into a smarter way of thinking about money.
3) Dating. Never really gotten into this one, so its a new challenge for me.
My New Years will be quiet. I am going to a dance thing nearby with the guys from my dance class. It finishes early, which is kinda ok with me. I have to work the next day. Boo to that. But I am off tomorrow afternoon, tripping out to the mountains, by myself, for some well deserved peace and quiet. I'll be going to the Jenolan caves on Saturday, and spending the full day out there. I can't afford to go away, but I can't afford not to at the moment either. I am finding myself frustrated and need some space. Need fresh air, need to see the stars. And I need noone around to talk to me endlessly.
See you all in the New Year.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I never claimed to be sane
Today, whilst cleaning at work, I randomly popped out with 'Hunka Hunka burning love.'
I was alone, not even talking to myself, and that came out.
I know I'm weird, but its not often I make myself go WTF?!?
I was alone, not even talking to myself, and that came out.
I know I'm weird, but its not often I make myself go WTF?!?
Friday, December 18, 2009
True Phishy Style
So a few months ago I won an oxygen facial in a raffle. $10 in tickets. I win a $180 facial. Pretty good investment.
We had our work Christmas Party with a cocktail theme. I say its a theme, because they only serve beer, wine, champagne, juice and sparkling water. But at least, unlike another blogger, our work did pay for the goodies. And in between finishing work, and starting the party, I decided it would be best to utilise that voucher. I mean, it expires in 13 days, and I really don't want to waste my $10.
So I had it all planned out. I'd walk down to the bus station, catch the 324,325,326 or 327 down the road to a certain intersection, walk round the corner, and hesto presto, be there. Right on time. I even had maps printed out so that I wouldn't go astray!
Well, party day was shitful. Utterly, utterly shitful. I was sleep deprived, hungry, feeling fat (work out how those 2 go together would ya!), tense (taking the last 1 1/2 weekdays off work, so had to squeeze in a hell of a lot of work) , and broke, even though it was payday. I was pushed for time because the party started earlier than I'd expected, and I was hoping to head out to dinner beforehand, so I'd be less tempted to snack on shit.
And during the day, I hit the lollies at work, which did not help with the stressed out feeling from being fat.
In short, I just wanted Wednesday and Thursday to be over. I gave a blood sample to a research group, and got a tim tam back as a reward. I normally really do not like Tim Tams. I would even go so far as to say that I dislike them, on most occasions, but on Wednesday, that Tim Tam really made my afternoon.
So you've got the picture. I are a cranky fucker.
So I had arranged to leave 15 minutes early from work. No drama. I got out the door no drama. Missed the bus. By, like, 1 minute. Literally. Fuck. The next bus that came along took the long way. Well, it was either that one, or wait 10 minutes for the next one. I took the long way. I did enjoy the scenic route. And, surprisingly, I didn't get lost getting to where I had to go. It was amazingly simple to find. And I was only 8 minutes late. Which, for me, is some kind of record.
When I got there the door was locked. Hum. Maybe she was out getting coffee. I rang her. The phone rang. And rang. And rang.
And rang.
I rang her for a good 3 minutes. I knocked on the door, I rang the door bell. I rang again. For 3 solid minutes. I texted Kez. I was getting seriously pissed off. Sure, i wasted the first 10 minutes of the appointment, but where the fuck was she?
I pulled out the voucher to see if there was an alternate phone number to call, and she rang me back. I told her I was there, and she said, 'ok, I'll see you soon,' and hung up. I waited at the door for 5 more minutes. I knocked on the door again. I rang the buzzer again.
So far, 20 minutes has elapsed from the start of the appointment time. I rang her. Again, no answer. As I dialed the alternate number on the voucher, the neighbour rocks up. She was kind enough to inform me that they hadn't moved into the building yet, and gave me clear, concise directions to the other address.
I headed off, mightily annoyed. I rang the alternate number as I walked, and told her that the address I had was from the website, and it was different to the current address. She gave me directions that were slightly less concise than her future neighbour's.
And I got lost. I headed back to the road she was loacted on, started searching on the wrong side of the road. Moved to the correct side, and, judging by the numbers, ascertained that I had to go left. I went left. Turns out I had to go right.
So I finally got there. Half an hour late.
The facial itself was quite nice. She got me to stip til I was mostly naked, and got between the sheets. There was relaxing music in the background. She wiped pleasant smelling stuff on my face, gave me cold and hot compresses (I preferred the hot ones), dropped ice cold liquids across my forehead, chin, cheeks and chest. Applied varying pressures, and different massage techniques across my face, neck, scalp and chest. There was one point where she was tapping all over my face, and it felt like tarantuals were tap dancing acorss my cheeks. I'm arachnaphobic, but I almost cracked up laughing.
The facial went for an hour. And by the end of it I felt pretty liquid. All clean and fresh. Ready for my sweaty walk uphill back to work for the party...
We had our work Christmas Party with a cocktail theme. I say its a theme, because they only serve beer, wine, champagne, juice and sparkling water. But at least, unlike another blogger, our work did pay for the goodies. And in between finishing work, and starting the party, I decided it would be best to utilise that voucher. I mean, it expires in 13 days, and I really don't want to waste my $10.
So I had it all planned out. I'd walk down to the bus station, catch the 324,325,326 or 327 down the road to a certain intersection, walk round the corner, and hesto presto, be there. Right on time. I even had maps printed out so that I wouldn't go astray!
Well, party day was shitful. Utterly, utterly shitful. I was sleep deprived, hungry, feeling fat (work out how those 2 go together would ya!), tense (taking the last 1 1/2 weekdays off work, so had to squeeze in a hell of a lot of work) , and broke, even though it was payday. I was pushed for time because the party started earlier than I'd expected, and I was hoping to head out to dinner beforehand, so I'd be less tempted to snack on shit.
And during the day, I hit the lollies at work, which did not help with the stressed out feeling from being fat.
In short, I just wanted Wednesday and Thursday to be over. I gave a blood sample to a research group, and got a tim tam back as a reward. I normally really do not like Tim Tams. I would even go so far as to say that I dislike them, on most occasions, but on Wednesday, that Tim Tam really made my afternoon.
So you've got the picture. I are a cranky fucker.
So I had arranged to leave 15 minutes early from work. No drama. I got out the door no drama. Missed the bus. By, like, 1 minute. Literally. Fuck. The next bus that came along took the long way. Well, it was either that one, or wait 10 minutes for the next one. I took the long way. I did enjoy the scenic route. And, surprisingly, I didn't get lost getting to where I had to go. It was amazingly simple to find. And I was only 8 minutes late. Which, for me, is some kind of record.
When I got there the door was locked. Hum. Maybe she was out getting coffee. I rang her. The phone rang. And rang. And rang.
And rang.
I rang her for a good 3 minutes. I knocked on the door, I rang the door bell. I rang again. For 3 solid minutes. I texted Kez. I was getting seriously pissed off. Sure, i wasted the first 10 minutes of the appointment, but where the fuck was she?
I pulled out the voucher to see if there was an alternate phone number to call, and she rang me back. I told her I was there, and she said, 'ok, I'll see you soon,' and hung up. I waited at the door for 5 more minutes. I knocked on the door again. I rang the buzzer again.
So far, 20 minutes has elapsed from the start of the appointment time. I rang her. Again, no answer. As I dialed the alternate number on the voucher, the neighbour rocks up. She was kind enough to inform me that they hadn't moved into the building yet, and gave me clear, concise directions to the other address.
I headed off, mightily annoyed. I rang the alternate number as I walked, and told her that the address I had was from the website, and it was different to the current address. She gave me directions that were slightly less concise than her future neighbour's.
And I got lost. I headed back to the road she was loacted on, started searching on the wrong side of the road. Moved to the correct side, and, judging by the numbers, ascertained that I had to go left. I went left. Turns out I had to go right.
So I finally got there. Half an hour late.
The facial itself was quite nice. She got me to stip til I was mostly naked, and got between the sheets. There was relaxing music in the background. She wiped pleasant smelling stuff on my face, gave me cold and hot compresses (I preferred the hot ones), dropped ice cold liquids across my forehead, chin, cheeks and chest. Applied varying pressures, and different massage techniques across my face, neck, scalp and chest. There was one point where she was tapping all over my face, and it felt like tarantuals were tap dancing acorss my cheeks. I'm arachnaphobic, but I almost cracked up laughing.
The facial went for an hour. And by the end of it I felt pretty liquid. All clean and fresh. Ready for my sweaty walk uphill back to work for the party...
Monday, December 14, 2009
Stupid, Stupid Girl
So, right off the back of a post about how men are stupid comes my own installment.
So, for those not playing at home, I used to be a fatty. Still am a bit podgy in the middle, but I can lose it in a short period of time. Anyways, I went on this killer 12 week challenge at the gym, lost a stack of weight and felt fantastic.
Challenge over. Weight begins to creep on. This morning I told a workmate/bestie that she is to pull me up if I do anything dietarily questionable.
Ok, so the scene is set. I've lost a stack of weight and am having difficulty maintaining it.
Anyways. A few days ago, me and the workbestie got together and put an order in for some lollies. I wanted some to decorate my gingerbread house, but was never going to eat the amount that I'd have to get, in order to have enough variety. So we went halves in an order.
This is what we got
Mates, 380g,
Raspberry bullets, 400g
White chocolate raspberry bullets, 400g,
Coffee Eclairs, 400g
Chocolate eclairs, 400g
Gummy party mix, 750g
Seconds lollies, 1kg
That was to SHARE. Between TWO of us.
I also got 2 bags of sugar free lollies, a pack of choc coated jelly raspberries, several assorted individual packs of fruit and nut, and 550g mixed buds.
Total = over 3.5kg.*
Of lollies.
I just came off a killer diet.
FAARRRRKKKK.
I am scared. Terrified even, of these lollies. They are currently living in my locker at work. The good news is, I'm not game to open the bag to sneak even one. I'm going to have to give them away.
So, who wants lollies for Christmas?
*Though it was a total bargain. 3.5kg lollies for $35, including postage. And the very small amount I've sampled were fucking divine.
So, for those not playing at home, I used to be a fatty. Still am a bit podgy in the middle, but I can lose it in a short period of time. Anyways, I went on this killer 12 week challenge at the gym, lost a stack of weight and felt fantastic.
Challenge over. Weight begins to creep on. This morning I told a workmate/bestie that she is to pull me up if I do anything dietarily questionable.
Ok, so the scene is set. I've lost a stack of weight and am having difficulty maintaining it.
Anyways. A few days ago, me and the workbestie got together and put an order in for some lollies. I wanted some to decorate my gingerbread house, but was never going to eat the amount that I'd have to get, in order to have enough variety. So we went halves in an order.
This is what we got
Mates, 380g,
Raspberry bullets, 400g
White chocolate raspberry bullets, 400g,
Coffee Eclairs, 400g
Chocolate eclairs, 400g
Gummy party mix, 750g
Seconds lollies, 1kg
That was to SHARE. Between TWO of us.
I also got 2 bags of sugar free lollies, a pack of choc coated jelly raspberries, several assorted individual packs of fruit and nut, and 550g mixed buds.
Total = over 3.5kg.*
Of lollies.
I just came off a killer diet.
FAARRRRKKKK.
I am scared. Terrified even, of these lollies. They are currently living in my locker at work. The good news is, I'm not game to open the bag to sneak even one. I'm going to have to give them away.
So, who wants lollies for Christmas?
*Though it was a total bargain. 3.5kg lollies for $35, including postage. And the very small amount I've sampled were fucking divine.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Why men are stupid.
What's this? A post? On my sad, neglected blog? Why yes, yes it is. Will anyone even notice?
Ok, so its been a while since I posted. A quick wrap up - I dieted. And that's about it. It was hard, I sweated, I shrank, I won the 12 week challenge. And I've spent the last 3 weeks gaining weight again. *sigh*
But that's not what I wanted to blog about. I wanted to tell you all about a friend of mine. Lets call him Friend. See what I did there, put a capital on it and added some fontage. Tricky stuff.
I have known Friend for about 18 months now. I see this guy as a purely platonic friend. How many of you already know where this is going? Twice over the course of the last 18 months he's asked for more. And twice I've told him, quite firmly, that I see him as just a friend, and nothing was going to happen.
A few weeks ago, he calls me up. Bitching that I don't answer his calls or respond to his messages. I got a little snarky when I told him that, as it explains in my voice mail message, I do not get reception at work, so if he's calling during work hours, its not so much that I ignore his calls, as I don't get them. I told him I was in the 12 week challenge and was full on, crazy busy, no time to catch up.
He continues to call and text. Sometimes at 7am, when I'm asleep on the train, sometimes at 10pm, when I'm about to head to bed.
On facebook he began bagging out gym junkies. Now, if you're not aware of this, I am one. I love the gym so hard it hurts. Literally. I have quite a lot of friends at the gym, both trainers and guys from the challenge. Guys and girls. And I love them to bits. I have never known a bunch of more committed, hard working individuals. And any slur on these guys was a reflection on me.
It happened again on Sunday night. I posted a status update about chocolate being better than men. I mean, hell, I've gone long periods without either, and it wasn't men I was looking forward to most.
I could see it happening a mile off. Frantically I tried to divert the conversation. But he was set. It started with him insulting the gym and junkies, then he asked me out. Publicly. But it wasn't even an appealing proposition. He wanted me to meet up with him so that I could buy him lunch/dinner. On a thread that had been already commented on by one of the trainers. This trainer was privvy to the whole conversation. So I can pretty much guess that all of the guys at the gym know about what happened.
I ended up texting a friend and she intervened to tell him that I couldn't share chocolate with him. I was highly embarrassed. If you're on facebook, don't bother looking for the chat. Its been deleted.
I took the conversation private. And this is the ensuing conversation.
Hey.
Just letting you know that I'm deleting you as a facebook friend. I really didn't like the way you asked me out on my status last night. I see you as a friend, nothing more, and I've told you this several times. I don't want to hurt you, or lead you on.
If you can handle being friends with me, just friends, then add me again. If you can't, then I won't hurt you, and I think its best that we leave it alone.
Its up to you.
***
His response was something along the lines of
'there was nothing to not like about what I asked. Unless you don't want to be asked out. Anyway, you deleted me, so its up to you to add me again.'
Seems he thought I'd been playing hard to get.
I'm, not 100% sure, I ended up deleting the thread.
***
My response:
I did not like being asked out by someone that I have repeatedly told I am not interested in. I feel awkward telling you this again. It makes me feel uncomfortable about catching up with you as a friend.
I am giving you the option of adding me again. If you can't handle being PLATONIC friends, then this is very sadly going to have to be the end of our acquaintance.
*block said tool*
The End. Men are stupid.
Ok, so its been a while since I posted. A quick wrap up - I dieted. And that's about it. It was hard, I sweated, I shrank, I won the 12 week challenge. And I've spent the last 3 weeks gaining weight again. *sigh*
But that's not what I wanted to blog about. I wanted to tell you all about a friend of mine. Lets call him Friend. See what I did there, put a capital on it and added some fontage. Tricky stuff.
I have known Friend for about 18 months now. I see this guy as a purely platonic friend. How many of you already know where this is going? Twice over the course of the last 18 months he's asked for more. And twice I've told him, quite firmly, that I see him as just a friend, and nothing was going to happen.
A few weeks ago, he calls me up. Bitching that I don't answer his calls or respond to his messages. I got a little snarky when I told him that, as it explains in my voice mail message, I do not get reception at work, so if he's calling during work hours, its not so much that I ignore his calls, as I don't get them. I told him I was in the 12 week challenge and was full on, crazy busy, no time to catch up.
He continues to call and text. Sometimes at 7am, when I'm asleep on the train, sometimes at 10pm, when I'm about to head to bed.
On facebook he began bagging out gym junkies. Now, if you're not aware of this, I am one. I love the gym so hard it hurts. Literally. I have quite a lot of friends at the gym, both trainers and guys from the challenge. Guys and girls. And I love them to bits. I have never known a bunch of more committed, hard working individuals. And any slur on these guys was a reflection on me.
It happened again on Sunday night. I posted a status update about chocolate being better than men. I mean, hell, I've gone long periods without either, and it wasn't men I was looking forward to most.
I could see it happening a mile off. Frantically I tried to divert the conversation. But he was set. It started with him insulting the gym and junkies, then he asked me out. Publicly. But it wasn't even an appealing proposition. He wanted me to meet up with him so that I could buy him lunch/dinner. On a thread that had been already commented on by one of the trainers. This trainer was privvy to the whole conversation. So I can pretty much guess that all of the guys at the gym know about what happened.
I ended up texting a friend and she intervened to tell him that I couldn't share chocolate with him. I was highly embarrassed. If you're on facebook, don't bother looking for the chat. Its been deleted.
I took the conversation private. And this is the ensuing conversation.
Hey.
Just letting you know that I'm deleting you as a facebook friend. I really didn't like the way you asked me out on my status last night. I see you as a friend, nothing more, and I've told you this several times. I don't want to hurt you, or lead you on.
If you can handle being friends with me, just friends, then add me again. If you can't, then I won't hurt you, and I think its best that we leave it alone.
Its up to you.
***
His response was something along the lines of
'there was nothing to not like about what I asked. Unless you don't want to be asked out. Anyway, you deleted me, so its up to you to add me again.'
Seems he thought I'd been playing hard to get.
I'm, not 100% sure, I ended up deleting the thread.
***
My response:
I did not like being asked out by someone that I have repeatedly told I am not interested in. I feel awkward telling you this again. It makes me feel uncomfortable about catching up with you as a friend.
I am giving you the option of adding me again. If you can't handle being PLATONIC friends, then this is very sadly going to have to be the end of our acquaintance.
*block said tool*
The End. Men are stupid.
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