Friday, December 18, 2009

True Phishy Style

So a few months ago I won an oxygen facial in a raffle. $10 in tickets. I win a $180 facial. Pretty good investment.

We had our work Christmas Party with a cocktail theme. I say its a theme, because they only serve beer, wine, champagne, juice and sparkling water. But at least, unlike another blogger, our work did pay for the goodies. And in between finishing work, and starting the party, I decided it would be best to utilise that voucher. I mean, it expires in 13 days, and I really don't want to waste my $10.

So I had it all planned out. I'd walk down to the bus station, catch the 324,325,326 or 327 down the road to a certain intersection, walk round the corner, and hesto presto, be there. Right on time. I even had maps printed out so that I wouldn't go astray!

Well, party day was shitful. Utterly, utterly shitful. I was sleep deprived, hungry, feeling fat (work out how those 2 go together would ya!), tense (taking the last 1 1/2 weekdays off work, so had to squeeze in a hell of a lot of work) , and broke, even though it was payday. I was pushed for time because the party started earlier than I'd expected, and I was hoping to head out to dinner beforehand, so I'd be less tempted to snack on shit.

And during the day, I hit the lollies at work, which did not help with the stressed out feeling from being fat.

In short, I just wanted Wednesday and Thursday to be over. I gave a blood sample to a research group, and got a tim tam back as a reward. I normally really do not like Tim Tams. I would even go so far as to say that I dislike them, on most occasions, but on Wednesday, that Tim Tam really made my afternoon.

So you've got the picture. I are a cranky fucker.

So I had arranged to leave 15 minutes early from work. No drama. I got out the door no drama. Missed the bus. By, like, 1 minute. Literally. Fuck. The next bus that came along took the long way. Well, it was either that one, or wait 10 minutes for the next one. I took the long way. I did enjoy the scenic route. And, surprisingly, I didn't get lost getting to where I had to go. It was amazingly simple to find. And I was only 8 minutes late. Which, for me, is some kind of record.

When I got there the door was locked. Hum. Maybe she was out getting coffee. I rang her. The phone rang. And rang. And rang.

And rang.

I rang her for a good 3 minutes. I knocked on the door, I rang the door bell. I rang again. For 3 solid minutes. I texted Kez. I was getting seriously pissed off. Sure, i wasted the first 10 minutes of the appointment, but where the fuck was she?

I pulled out the voucher to see if there was an alternate phone number to call, and she rang me back. I told her I was there, and she said, 'ok, I'll see you soon,' and hung up. I waited at the door for 5 more minutes. I knocked on the door again. I rang the buzzer again.

So far, 20 minutes has elapsed from the start of the appointment time. I rang her. Again, no answer. As I dialed the alternate number on the voucher, the neighbour rocks up. She was kind enough to inform me that they hadn't moved into the building yet, and gave me clear, concise directions to the other address.

I headed off, mightily annoyed. I rang the alternate number as I walked, and told her that the address I had was from the website, and it was different to the current address. She gave me directions that were slightly less concise than her future neighbour's.

And I got lost. I headed back to the road she was loacted on, started searching on the wrong side of the road. Moved to the correct side, and, judging by the numbers, ascertained that I had to go left. I went left. Turns out I had to go right.

So I finally got there. Half an hour late.

The facial itself was quite nice. She got me to stip til I was mostly naked, and got between the sheets. There was relaxing music in the background. She wiped pleasant smelling stuff on my face, gave me cold and hot compresses (I preferred the hot ones), dropped ice cold liquids across my forehead, chin, cheeks and chest. Applied varying pressures, and different massage techniques across my face, neck, scalp and chest. There was one point where she was tapping all over my face, and it felt like tarantuals were tap dancing acorss my cheeks. I'm arachnaphobic, but I almost cracked up laughing.

The facial went for an hour. And by the end of it I felt pretty liquid. All clean and fresh. Ready for my sweaty walk uphill back to work for the party...


Ms Smack said...

oh mate. That would piss me off royally!

I don't know how you do the public transport thing. I hate relying on others!

Oxygen facial sounds interesting! I thought they'd blow air or something on you!

Merry Christmas honey.

The Mutant said...

I can't really do facials. i tried once. I find the whole thing awkward. Usually after that much close contact there's always sex, with a facial, not so much. Just doesn't work for me.

Cazzie!!! said...

Waaaa, I wanna facial too!
Hey girl, Merry Christmas...relax, enjoy and have a great New Year...say, how is your Dad going ?

*~Dani~* said...

I have never had a facial, but I would probably go through all of that trouble for a massage!

Ute said...

Bloody hell! It sounds like you sure did deserve that facial once you actually found it! heh...

Congrats on winning's nice to win something hey. :o)

Josh said...

Never had a facial, only given em....

xl said...

Merry Christmas to you!

fingers said...

Thrilling post, Phish !!!
I couldn't put it down.

Merry Xmas, baby...