I've changed the name of my blog. Its no longer what it was. I fall over too much. And I did it again today. But it must have been hilarious. I mean, to watch, not to experience.
I was bored. I had nothing to do for a total of about 3 minutes. So I decided to run up and down the halls. Now, I should point out that I thought this was a great core workout. Especially since my shoes are wrapped in two layers of plastic at the time. No traction means that I have to work extra hard to stay upright.
Um. I didn't think that one through. I have enough trouble staying upright. Sober. In flats. In hindsight, I was destined to stack it.
So I'm running up the hallway. Flat out. And I approach the end, and decide to stop. I slam on the metaphorical brakes. Slowing, slowing. Stopped.
I transferred my weight onto my leading foot, ready to step into a walk. Turns out I wasn't really stopped, I was merely halted by the plastic wrapped around my foot. And as I transferred the weight forward, the plastic broke.
My foot slid straight through the overshoe, and straight under the trolley I had 'stopped' in front of. I went down on one knee, with my leading shin smacking into the trolley, sending it careering into the wall. A god almighty crash echoed down the hallway.
I leapt up. There were people working in each room at that end of the hallway. How could they have not heard it? I replaced my broken overshoe, and nonchelantly left the scene.
Am I retarded if no one saw it?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Strange, much?
I have weird dreams. I've blogged them before. But I have recently made a discovery.
I'm not sure how I missed blogging this, since it was funny as, but a few months ago, just after I started my new job, I had a dream that I was looking for something in bag, on the train. I kept pulling out these items, examining them, deciding they weren't what I wanted, and throwing them away.
Well, I pulled out this item that felt like my boot. I remember how it felt, but not how it looked. I threw it away, thinking 'that's not right'. And I must have gone back to sleep.
In the morning when I woke up, there were shoes all over my floor! I have a habit of keeping oft worn footwear under my bed, and during my dream, I must have been rummaging around under my bed, dragging them out and throwing them around the room. It must have looked funny as.
Anyway, the other night, I had this very strange experience. After going to bed I realised I had something that I needed to talk to my roomie out. Urgently. I vaguely remember standing in her doorway, trying to ask her a question. She looked at me, seeming very confused. I trailed off. I tried to reword the question so she'd understand. I couldn't get the words out. I told her I was confused, and that I was going back to bed.
I spoke to her yesterday, and asked what happened. Turns out I sleep walk.
I have to wear pyjamas for the rest of my life!
I'm not sure how I missed blogging this, since it was funny as, but a few months ago, just after I started my new job, I had a dream that I was looking for something in bag, on the train. I kept pulling out these items, examining them, deciding they weren't what I wanted, and throwing them away.
Well, I pulled out this item that felt like my boot. I remember how it felt, but not how it looked. I threw it away, thinking 'that's not right'. And I must have gone back to sleep.
In the morning when I woke up, there were shoes all over my floor! I have a habit of keeping oft worn footwear under my bed, and during my dream, I must have been rummaging around under my bed, dragging them out and throwing them around the room. It must have looked funny as.
Anyway, the other night, I had this very strange experience. After going to bed I realised I had something that I needed to talk to my roomie out. Urgently. I vaguely remember standing in her doorway, trying to ask her a question. She looked at me, seeming very confused. I trailed off. I tried to reword the question so she'd understand. I couldn't get the words out. I told her I was confused, and that I was going back to bed.
I spoke to her yesterday, and asked what happened. Turns out I sleep walk.
I have to wear pyjamas for the rest of my life!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
How to irritate maximum people.
Peak hour. Almost 40 degrees C. Packed train. I'm sitting with one of my workmates and his girlfriend. They're discussing which house they want to buy and I tune out and begin to play lemmings on my phone. A few minutes pass, I'm just beginning to get into that level, when a stench hit my nose.
Its eye watering and nose burning. It closes my throat and shreds at my lungs. It not the standard train smell of recycled BO. Its the smell of an electrical fire. It started small. Just a hint. I snap my phone shut and ask my mate if he smells that. He pauses and admits that he does. I thought it was outside, but its getting worse. Its inside the carriage. My train smells like an electrical fire. People begin to leave the carriage and move to the next one. Some people loiter in the end bit, where we were sitting, and complain.
I get up and press the emergency call button next to the door. I wait. Press it again. 30 seconds pass. I fumble for my phone to call 000 (the Aus emergency number), when the guard answers the speaker. I tell him our carriage smells like smoke. Its pretty bad. He tells me they'll investigate at the next stop, about 10 minutes away. I return to my seat, the smell is beginning to clear, but it still lingers in the air. Everyone is standing around, looking at me. I relay the message to them.
The train stops instead at the next station. We sit there a while. They open the doors (Fresh air, yay) and the guard comes down. He evacuates the carriage and seals it off, so that no one will try to get on at the next station. We all moved to the next carriage along. IT was strange. Most of the time people do not talk to each other on trains, but once shit happened, we were interacting with each other, and introducing ourselves, asking about work etc.
We go to the next big station, where peak hour trains stop regularly, and the train stops again. We figure they need to seal off the doors on the other side of the train. This time one of the guards on the platform is insisting the driver open the doors. The doors open, more fresh air. This time the driver insists we evacuate the train. Everybody to platform 4.
Going up the stairs with what felt like a few thousand other people, and my mate comments that this is all my fault. I get the giggles. I love making an impact. His girlfriend makes a comment about the 'I never' game. "I've never emptied a whole peak hour train." We file up the stairs, over the tracks, and back down the stairs to the platform. We're standing six deep, my back is to the stairs and people are lined as far forward as they can go. The platforms is chockers. Almost overflowing. The first train along isn't going anywhere near where we want to go. As it pulls in, the looks on the faces of its occupants was incredible.
Shock, horror. Seriously, stop reading for half a second and imagine it. Hilarity. I cracked up laughing again at them. The train was packed. Epically full. Have you seen the pictures of the guys in Japan who are employed to push people onto the trains to make them fit? It was like that. I skipped that train. About half of my peak hour train squeezed onto that peak hour train, electing to switch trains further down the line. Everybody else waited.
Immediately after it left, we were told there was a train going out our way. Departing in 2 minutes from the platform we had just left. Again, everybody trudges up the stairs and back down. Some poor guard was copping it from some woman about the whole kerfuffle.
So we crammed onto the train. It seemed most people wanted to get directly onto the carriage at the bottom of the stairs. It was jam packed full of people.
And that's how I evacuated a whole train. What an exciting start to the weekend!
Its eye watering and nose burning. It closes my throat and shreds at my lungs. It not the standard train smell of recycled BO. Its the smell of an electrical fire. It started small. Just a hint. I snap my phone shut and ask my mate if he smells that. He pauses and admits that he does. I thought it was outside, but its getting worse. Its inside the carriage. My train smells like an electrical fire. People begin to leave the carriage and move to the next one. Some people loiter in the end bit, where we were sitting, and complain.
I get up and press the emergency call button next to the door. I wait. Press it again. 30 seconds pass. I fumble for my phone to call 000 (the Aus emergency number), when the guard answers the speaker. I tell him our carriage smells like smoke. Its pretty bad. He tells me they'll investigate at the next stop, about 10 minutes away. I return to my seat, the smell is beginning to clear, but it still lingers in the air. Everyone is standing around, looking at me. I relay the message to them.
The train stops instead at the next station. We sit there a while. They open the doors (Fresh air, yay) and the guard comes down. He evacuates the carriage and seals it off, so that no one will try to get on at the next station. We all moved to the next carriage along. IT was strange. Most of the time people do not talk to each other on trains, but once shit happened, we were interacting with each other, and introducing ourselves, asking about work etc.
We go to the next big station, where peak hour trains stop regularly, and the train stops again. We figure they need to seal off the doors on the other side of the train. This time one of the guards on the platform is insisting the driver open the doors. The doors open, more fresh air. This time the driver insists we evacuate the train. Everybody to platform 4.
Going up the stairs with what felt like a few thousand other people, and my mate comments that this is all my fault. I get the giggles. I love making an impact. His girlfriend makes a comment about the 'I never' game. "I've never emptied a whole peak hour train." We file up the stairs, over the tracks, and back down the stairs to the platform. We're standing six deep, my back is to the stairs and people are lined as far forward as they can go. The platforms is chockers. Almost overflowing. The first train along isn't going anywhere near where we want to go. As it pulls in, the looks on the faces of its occupants was incredible.
Shock, horror. Seriously, stop reading for half a second and imagine it. Hilarity. I cracked up laughing again at them. The train was packed. Epically full. Have you seen the pictures of the guys in Japan who are employed to push people onto the trains to make them fit? It was like that. I skipped that train. About half of my peak hour train squeezed onto that peak hour train, electing to switch trains further down the line. Everybody else waited.
Immediately after it left, we were told there was a train going out our way. Departing in 2 minutes from the platform we had just left. Again, everybody trudges up the stairs and back down. Some poor guard was copping it from some woman about the whole kerfuffle.
So we crammed onto the train. It seemed most people wanted to get directly onto the carriage at the bottom of the stairs. It was jam packed full of people.
And that's how I evacuated a whole train. What an exciting start to the weekend!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Confirmed
It has been confirmed. Someone from work is reading me. I don't know who. It is quite the mystery. But they're trawling my archives. Seriously, don't you have work to do? Um. Yeah. If you could just let me know who you are, that would be nice.
Ayway. Apart from that its business as usual. The post I pulled was about a friend of mine at work. No biggie. I'm still going to post as per usual. I just may remove some posts about public vomiting. BRB. Actually, it was quite a funny post. I'll leave it up.
Part of the last post was about me needing another round of root canal.
So I had to leave work early today. I had to get root canal. Again. I was in agony. I was literally hanging out for that giant needle. It was a relief when I got it. It proceeded normally, I guess. It was much less painful than last time, but my dentist (who is an angel, and worked her lunch break to help me out) said there was a fair bit of blood, so it might take a while to settle. Tonight will tell. But nothing could be as bad as last night. I was literally writhing and screaming in agony. Poor cat. She kept trying to comfort me and kept getting slapped off the bed. Must give her cuddles tonight to make up for it.
Anyhoo, as I was trying to make a claim from my health fund something very strange happened. My 'no limit' preventative dental, got declined... because I had gone over my limit. Humm. Ok. I spent just under an hour on the phone trying to get them to tell me where exactly it was written that I had a limit. They were not able to produce this evidence. Then half an hour on the phone to the ombudsman. And then half an hour writing a letter of complaint. Which they will fax off to the health fund.
Fuckers.
Ayway. Apart from that its business as usual. The post I pulled was about a friend of mine at work. No biggie. I'm still going to post as per usual. I just may remove some posts about public vomiting. BRB. Actually, it was quite a funny post. I'll leave it up.
Part of the last post was about me needing another round of root canal.
So I had to leave work early today. I had to get root canal. Again. I was in agony. I was literally hanging out for that giant needle. It was a relief when I got it. It proceeded normally, I guess. It was much less painful than last time, but my dentist (who is an angel, and worked her lunch break to help me out) said there was a fair bit of blood, so it might take a while to settle. Tonight will tell. But nothing could be as bad as last night. I was literally writhing and screaming in agony. Poor cat. She kept trying to comfort me and kept getting slapped off the bed. Must give her cuddles tonight to make up for it.
Anyhoo, as I was trying to make a claim from my health fund something very strange happened. My 'no limit' preventative dental, got declined... because I had gone over my limit. Humm. Ok. I spent just under an hour on the phone trying to get them to tell me where exactly it was written that I had a limit. They were not able to produce this evidence. Then half an hour on the phone to the ombudsman. And then half an hour writing a letter of complaint. Which they will fax off to the health fund.
Fuckers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)