The world is full of weird, weird creepy people

So I have this biiig house all to myself, and this biiig rent too. So I decided to share house again. Just like before. You get your 'normal' garden variety weirdo's, but I think this guy takes the cake...

I'm about to go out on Saturday night. And my phone rings. Mmm. Ok. I'll answer it. Its Creepy man (who I didn't know and named later). He wants to talk to me about the house. But within about three questions he's asking about me. Questions bordering on personal. He starts off asking how old I am. When I ask him how old he is he doesnt answer. I have to ask three times to find out hes 38. Then he wants to know what I look like. Moving on to telling me that he used to have sex with a larger woman... ok. Getting creeped out now. Somewhere in this I tell him about the stress relief. Then he tells me about a chick he used to live with who occasionally walked in the kitchen in the morning and saw him naked with a boner, and used to brush up against it. And he asked if he could walk around in the nud, in the morning, with a boner. Umm... NO!

Change of subject. What do you do for a living type shit. He is in natual remedies. Then he's a masseuse. And he think I'd be a great masseuse too because I have a great personality. Hmmm. He asks twice if I'd think about occasionally massaging his clients. No. I already have a job. But its great money. Too great if you ask me... He's starting to be just a bit sus (yes, I am inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt). Then he asks if he could bring clients home and massage them in his bedroom. Ladies only. I have to ask. And yes. He does the whole body massage. OH. MY.GOD!!! Well hes not bringing work back here.

Then he asks... I feel dirty just repeating it really, and I'm gagging as I write this...

Then he asks if he could have the same relationship with me as I've got with the stress relief. OHGODNOFUCKINGWAY. This whole conversation lasted about 10 minutes.

Needless to say, the creepy man will not be moving in.