Really. When that cyclone went through north Queensland and wiped out the banana crops I must have been the only Aussie who didn’t give a damn. I mean, yeah. I cared about the farmers. But as far is it affected me… well, it didn’t.
I very rarely eat bananas as is. I might eat two per year. Thats one individual banana every six months. In a good year. In fact, the most common way for me to eat a banana is drowned in thick, sugary vanilla custard. Or in a smoothie where banana isn’t the predominant taste.
I buy bananas to put in my fruit salad. And then its only because I use that fruit salad to make smoothies. I had two in my fridge for a little longer than I should have kept them. A friend suggested that I mash them up to make a banana sundae with a twist. And I thought, ‘Hell YEAH’. I mean, even I like banana sundaes.
So I did. I mished and mashed, and warmed the banana up ever so slightly. And put heaps of creamy vanilla icecream over the top, with caramel sauce and a sprinkling of nuts.
And it was gross.
One banana down, one more to go. Tonight I attempted to do something a little different. I thought that if I mixed the banana with a bit of nutella it would be better.
So I did. I mished and mashed, and warmed the banana up ever so slightly. I mixed in a generous amount of nutella and put heaps of icecream on top. And I sat down to eat it.
Fucking DISGUSTING!!! The warm squishy banana mixed withoily nut flavoured chocolate just felt slimy. I could barely gag down the first mouthful. I ended up eating the icecream and leaving the brown goo. Only by the time I’d finished. The brown goo had a grey sheen to it from the melted icecream. I half expected a golgothan to rise from it.
I really don’t like bananas. Next time I’m gonna throw the fuckers out.