Sunday, September 28, 2008

Bad bathroom habits and movies.

Well, I was a little nervous drafting the last post. I wasn't sure how it would be received. But it seems to have gone ok. Either that, or you lovely people remembered some wise words; 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all'.

I hate September. Fucking Christmas decorations always go up. I spotted this on the 25th. 3 full months before Christmas. Fuck! I'm broke now. I don't need to go thinking about bloody spending money I don't have.

A few days ago I went to go to the bathroom. As I went reached the door, I found it to be locked, so began to walk away. Two steps later and the door opens behind me. Brilliant! I am in much need of a pee.

A lady walks out and advises me to wait a few minutes. Which I'm ok with. She doesn't want the embarrassment of me going into her smell, and I sure as hell don't want that discomfort. So I turn to go. And she follows me down the corridor, telling me she shouldn't have eaten the curry last night. I hesistated, shocked. Apparently that's the human cue for 'do go on', cuz she proceeded to tell me how 'they always say to eat the chilli, but you never should.'

TMI much?

I saw the new Mummy movie today. I did quite like it. Although it wasn't as funny as the original two. So not as many snappy one liners as you'd expect. And I thought that Rick suddenly having Matrix style martial arts skills was a bit over the top.

But the thing that shitted me most... Rachel Weisz didn't play Evie. So they got some random chick to do it. And she ruined the character. Evie was an intelligent scatterbrain. And a bit of a tom-girl. You know, not afraid to get dirty, but goes all gooey for her man. The new Evie was intelligent, but not a scatterbrain. More centred. And she fought! What was with that? She could defend herself in the old movies, but not attack. New Evie played with guns. Rachel's Evie didn't do that. She thought it was just silly. And new Evie's accent was definitely an American failing to do English. Bad job. They should have killed her off when she didn't sign up.

And Rick called her Evie, right from the start! Bullshit! In the first two movies he always called her Evelyn. The only time he didn't was when she died.

But the Yeti's were fucking AWESOME!!!

I have a few disgusting habits. One of them is born from a paranoia that my vadge smells. Every time I go to the ladies, I swipe and sniff. I gotta say, the vast majority of the time, its not a bad smell.

What's your worst habit.


Anonymous said...

Oh. Um...well I eat my toenails which really is the most disgusting thing. Luckily, I don't swallow. :)

I would rather eat my own foot however, than go into a public toilet and bum-pour out a curry, that is just rank. Couldn't she at least have gone into the handicapped toilets so you know, less likely to run into the next customer straight away??

Kitty said...

wipe and sniff- you are fuckin hilarious.

i don't know what my worst habit is. i don't wipe or snif, i don't eat my feet...

sometime i flick my snot at my husband and/or children. that is pretty ordinary.

xl said...

I like to take the holidays one at a time. Halloween, Thanksgiving, then Christmas FFS merchants!

Worst habit: cracking my knuckles.

Kezza said...

Bah, early morning and stories about ring-stinging curry-bum... Thanks.

As for bad habits, I'm just going to leave that one well alone, lets just say with the (one or two) bad habits I have, it's a wonder I've been able to keep a man.

Ben said...

When did it become socially acceptable to talk about your poo's? I don't get it.

My worst habbit - farting in the aisles at K-Mart/Target and running away to leave mum to deal with the stares of strangers.

unique_stephen said...

At least you wipe

pareto said...

if more people took a sniff then the world would be a better pine-scented place

if i drop a cheeky fart i always have a quick sniff to determine if emergency action such as accusing someone else first is required. this may involve bed sheet fluffing, lingering in the shopping aisle for too long or making incriminating upwards fanning motions from the waist

Professor said...

Other than the Mummy review I would say this was a complete TMI post.

Anonymous said...

I've totally done the wipe and sniff.

I have actually liked the smell

*hangs head in shame*


Anonymous said...

You see the sad thing is that I have been to the toilet after you, and I hate to say it....but your vadge absolutly stinks to high hell!!!!! Everybody dry wretches after you have been to the toilet