Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The people you see...

So it's been a week since I blogged. Like last week, this one has a bit to blog about.

Darling Harbour is having fireworks. Just because. Anyhoo, a friend and I decided to head into the city to catch them. I love fireworks. And yes, there is audio with these, and I am talking in the background.

Nothing will make you feel more like a kid than watching fireworks. Unless, it's crawling around in a fountain at night. Sober.

Sunday was at the gym. As is normal now I guess. I failed my weigh in. Boo. Then I did some grocery shopping and had a quick (healthy) lunch. And whilst I was eating I was people watching. A family sat down opposite me and I watched. And judged. I judged like all hell!

One of the boys sat down with a chicken schnitzel and nothing else. He picked up his crumbed, greasy chunk of chicken flesh with his hands, and began to eat it LIKE IT WAS A COOKIE! Surely his mum would smack him across the back of the head when she sat down with her lunch. But no. And I judged her for that. But not as bad as when I saw her lunch. Grilled fish with sauce and chips. Which she ate with her fingers as well. Not just the chips, she picked up the soggy fish with her fingers, slopped it around the plate and shoved her fingers up to the second knuckle, all the way in her gob.

Stomach turning I got up to leave. And as I walked past the table, I saw the other one. The other grotty little kid. With one hand wrapped around a burger and the other buried deep in his pants, scratching his arse.


This morning I caught the train as per usual. There were a group of young school boys on the train. Typical kids. Loud, obnoxious brats. Being kids. Whatever, I was going to get off the train in two stops. But there was this cranky looking old 'lady' glaring at these kids. Not only that, but she was chewing too. Like she just wanted to leap over the seats and beat those kids over the head. But she was holding back, literally biting back her rage. I imagine it was the female version of Fingers.


We have toilets at work. Strange but true. And these toilets have locks on the doors. Well, I should say toilet, because there is only one, and it's unisex. We all piss in the same pot. So I went to the bathroom today, fiddled with the lock to make sure it was locked, and sat to do my business.

Finishing up, I pulled my underwear up, and the door flew open! I turned around with a shock to see a coworker, look of horror on her face, staring at me. I was so lucky it was a) a girl, and b) that I had pulled up my underwear.

She got a look at my fat (covered) ass and thighs, but that was about it. We've been laughing about it all afternoon. But it was a *tad* embarrassing.


Crushed said...

You share a toilet, guys and gals???

I have never come across that, anywhere.

I take it you're not from the liberal school of parenting...:)

bunny said...

There is only one toilet in your work??

Kezza said...

Honestly, I'd have to agree with you, some peoples parenting leaves much be desired. I still hold the belief that you should have to obtain a permit to raise kids - that should fix things.

Your toilet story was so sedate... you could have brightened it up a bit but mentioning how you invited her in, closed the door behind you and... Okay maybe I've seen too many odd things in the toilets at gay bars!

Anonymous said...

hahaha a female version of Fingers? hahaha

I always fear people opening the bathroom stall on me. Thanks for making that fear greater... :-P

Kitty said...

at least it wasn't mid-wipe of your arse or summink!

i cannot imagine fingers on any mode of pubic transport phish! even if he did have a vajayjay!

Memphis Steve said...

What the hell, one toilet and the lock doesn't work? That SUCKS!

xl said...

Several unisex toilets here at work. No colorful incidents. Yet.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Nice fireworks display.

Sorry about your crapper.

unique_stephen said...

Wern't my kids. one of them would have had an enormous booger hanging out that would have drawn your eyes in like a black hole sucks. They have their own gravity and reappear like magic as soon as you run out of tissues.

All uni sex toilets here, probably because its a uni..

Epskee said...

Watching other people eat is a pet hate of mine. I DO dump guys who slurp coffee, drip food, chew loudly, or are just generally gross with food. Definately no fingers allowed in public, and at home only for pizza and the like.

Mind you, I also cant watch a man shave, or anyone brush their teeth. GROSS!!!!

fingers said...

So, just to re-cap the week's events: You watched some people eat their lunch, there were some rowdy teenagers on the train, and you almost got embarassed in the toilet at work.
No wonder there fireworks to celebrate...