Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I have gossip!

So the last few days have been pretty big for me. And my gelatinous waistline. I'll try to tell it all in order.

First: The Conference...

I had a work conference. It was great. My first conference. I was sharing a registration with a coworker. She got to go for 2 days, but I'm not complaining. If I had to pick one day, it would have been the one I was allocated. However, I did get to go to a dinner on both Wednesday and Thursday. Free champagne was to be had. And free food, but who really cares about that when there is champagne? We had a lovely waitress on Wednesday who would target us and refill our glasses, then do a round, return to us, refill our glasses and then pick up dishes. I love her. Thursday dinner was a harbour cruise. And I LOVED it. I love Sydney, and the skyline from out there was brilliant. But, after a few champagnes I stopped admiring the view and got to the merry making.

Friday was the conference itself. I loved it. Being the last day they were giving away everything rather than pack it up. I scored at 3 bags and filled them with least a dozen stress balls, a full set of mugs, 2kg of cat litter and about 50 pens/pencils. I also acquired *hem*stole*hem* roughly 50 teabags and 10 hot chocolates. And I went all klepto on packets of breath mints before they stopped putting them out too. I love free shit. I had to carry 3 bags of shit (plus my bulging handbag) back in the rain, but it was so worth it.

Second: A few hours to myself... sorta.

I went home straight after the conference. The weekend was my flying (literally) visit to Melbourne so I didn't have much time. I did a basic clean and headed out to the gym. My personal trainer had me doing weight and finished off with some ab work. There was a strange move where I lay on the ground, with my arms stretched upwards. I grabbed his ankles and he bent over, held his hands out and I tried to touch them with my feet. As we assumed the position and he held his hands up, I glanced up and saw the shadows in his shorts. And all that went through my head was 'look at his hands lookathishands lookathishands lookathishands lookathishands.'

Third: The party

Saturday I flew to Melbourne. Flight was ok. Strangely, for a Qantas flight, it was uneventful. The added bonus was that there was pretty much nil chance of terrorists. I figured they wouldn't bother with a carrier that could do the job for them.

Kez picked me up and the plan was for him to drop me at my rellies where I'd be staying. We'd be there a polite amount of time, and then head into the city. Well, that was the plan. It failed. My rellies can gasbag. My sincerest apologies kez. I was all ready to leave when they started talking about some really juicy gossip to do with my cousin and his wife. And her family. I wanted to see one picture of the brides mother, and then we got stuck scrolling through family pics. Which I found boring, but it must have been mind numbing for kez. He tolerated it well.

One highlight though, I was putting on my rings and my mother made a comment about my 'penis fingers'. This cracked Kez and myself up no end. Of course we were both thinking of my penchant for masturbation, but not game enough to say it. And yes, I do have penis fingers, they are quite satisfying.

Kez dropped me back in the city for dinner. Right out the front of the place where we were going to eat. Sadly no time for a coffee or any boobie flashing or assorted shenanigans, but I did get a good laugh watching him burn his arse with a cigarette.

Dinner itself was really quite nice. Lovely even. But expensive. And I didn't really appreciate the deep fried beans. I did, however, enjoy the mouthful of wine that arrived with each course. I especially liked taking the glass that my brother or Dad's partner didn't want and (classily) tipping it into my glass and drinking it from there. But I missed out on my fried ice cream. I adore fried ice cream and its something that I have if its on a Chinese menu. Alas, this time they had run out.

25 hours in Melbourne, and it was time to fly back. It was short but sweet. If it had been much longer I'd have made plans to catch up with people, and would have run myself ragged.

Fourth: The nameless hottie...

Right from the get go at work, I've admired the sexy in the vicinity. But there is one in particular. I've been watching him from my second day. I have no reason to talk to him. He works on my floor, but on the other side of it, behind walls and stuff. I noticed him every time I saw him. But didn't acknowledge him, because being acknowledged by a stranger is just weird.

A week or so ago, we ran into each other in the cafeteria. And I realised that even though I had been systematically ignoring him (its a girl thing), and he hadn't paid me any attention, he knew who I was. Several times since we've made and momentarily held eye contact in passing.

I resolved to find out his name. By asking a co worker who I felt would be quite discrete. Today the chance happened. Several others were going out to a meeting, and he was walking around in sight, at the other side of the floor. I quickly grabbed my coworkers arm and asked her if she knew his name. She turned and looked at him, as did the two other people there. I realised it was as obvious as the sun, refused to look at him and blushed Zoidberg red. Maybe news will follow. Maybe not. Who knows. But I did catch him looking over to my desk this afternoon.

As an aside...
Note to self: Don't wear boyshort panties to the gym. They tend to turn into a g-string type situation and its just not fun being on the cross trainer with the feeling of something trying to poke the back of your eyeballs through your arse.

16 comments:

SPARSELY KATE said...

Hahah! I love that you pilfered shit into your bags. I'm a bit the same with free stuff...I don't need it, I don't really want it, but it's FREE.

And I'm glad I don't work for Qantas or I could be quite offended - it's like everyone is waiting for a big crash...the inevitable stuff up. :))


I read Kez's post...very funny. Glad you had a good time Phishy.

Kezza said...

He he he, klepto. He he he, burnt arse. He he he, penis fingers... Bwah ha ha ha ha.

Now, next time you do that ab thing with your trainer be sure to look up! Also ouch on the boyshort panties thing!

xl said...

Yeah, conference/trade show freebies. Somehow addicting...

Epskee said...

Tis good to hear you had a good time. And thanks for the laughs. Can I have that trainer of yours?

Ben said...

I can't work with male trainers. Ever... just too many off-topic thoughts distracting me form my work out.

Damn those sexy shadows.

kimba said...

great little round-up Phish..
I think next-time you should ask the trainer.. "So get many people perving up your shorts when you do this move?"

MissE said...

I like to think of that "free" stuff at conferences as souveniers! You know, little keepsakes that they want you to have to remember them by.

Fusion said...

I would get tons of what I liked to refer to as "trinkets and trash" from the phone company I used to work for, but then there were the occasional decent prizes like trips to Vegas, Arizona spa resorts, and such...

Anonymous said...

Ummm.... mum wasnt saying penis fingers...... she was saying PIANIST (Piano players) fingers.....

mutleythedog said...

Women are strange and complicated no wonder men make their own rules...

miss diarist said...

I highly recommend Golden Orchids in Chinatown (melbs) for their fried ice cream.

And as for the hottie - work it, sweetheart!

Kelly said...

hahahahahahaha the "look at his hands" bit cracked my ass up!

I hope you get to KNOW that nameless hottie!

unique_stephen said...

you wouldn't look up his pants...no....ummmm areeeeee

Ms Smack said...

Fantastic trip away Phish and a funny post. I love it when you write about your every day occurances like this!

Cazzie!!! said...

Look here, nowI have woken the kids laughing my ass off, hahahha, omg, I love ya Phish :)

phishez said...

Kate - I figure they do so many bloody flights a day that the few incidents they have had aren't so bad.

Kez - I don't know when I'll go back to PT. Depends on $$$, and when he gets his butt organised and will fax off his direct debit forms!

xl - i hate having all of their merchandise at my place. So I take it to work and whore their brand there...

Epskee - Can we share?

Ben - you don't get distracted by boobs?

Kimba - I think that would embarrass the crap out of him, which would not be good considering I'd be lying right where it would fall...

Fusion - WANT!!!

Anon - I swear she said penis.

Muts - men have rules?

MissD - lol. I won't be getting a hottie if I keep eating fried ice cream.

Kelly - I'd like to get to know him. But I haven't seen him in a week. I think he moved into a different building and that makes me sad in my wet place.

Steve - I swear I didn't. If I did, he so would have caught me.

Smack - thanks. It was a very big week.

Cazzie - glad you enjoyed.