Sunday, January 11, 2009

#574

Well, as much as I think men are fucked, I still cannot get over the glory of the cock. *sigh*

I don't truly beleive the rant that was last post. I know of one or two truly decent guys. Very, very few, considering how many I know. Everyone has issues. Mine are many. Trust is a big one of them. I don't know if I'll ever really be able to trust a guy. And that makes me angry. Hence - the rant.

Moving on.

I went to a hens night last night. The 'hen' was my best mates sister. She'd originally planned a big, wild hens night, but changed it, piece by piece, to suit her friends, until it disintegrated. She canceled the night, but her sister decided to throw her a party anyway, and invite all of her own friends.

I was drafted to help set up the party. I had an hour at home after work, had a light lunch, and headed out the door.

When I arrived there were three others there - my friend, the hen, and my friends roomie (a guy). We cleaned and set up for the party - prepped nibblies, arranged drinks and iced the 'triple dick delight'. Each of us girls got to decorate a cock cake. Guess which one was mine? (Kez, no cheating)


We had it all set up, when my friends other friends arrived. I had only met them once. Her roomie had met some of them once, the hen had never met them. They breezed in, went straight outside and started smoking and chatting amongst themselves. They'd come in occasionally to mix more cocktails. A few of them disappeared into my friends room, and when they left it had a lovely, herbal scent to it.

The hen disappeared to get ready to go out. The roomie and myself prepped food, mixed drinks, and wandered around aimlessly in between. I'd go outside to talk to the group, but several times ended up with people standing in front of me to talk to someone at the other end of the circle. I gave up and headed back inside to pick at the food.

The food was distinctly not diet. Party pies, yum cha, cheese board, ships and cocktail frankfurts. And a bowl of chocolate. I had been picking the chocolate whilst filling the giant penis pinata. But I felt sick by this stage and did nothing but push the chocolate around in the bowl. I'd go find the hen and chat to her, or wonder if I could go watch telly with the roomie. I didn't think I was going to the pub afterwards. Partly because I felt sick, partly because I didn't like their chosen venue (the guys there make my skin crawl), but mostly because I felt so out of place with her other friends. They were all 10 or more years older than me, drunk, stoned and really clicky with each other.

I had offered to drive them to the pub, and I was hanging out until they decided to go. About 8 I was out there talking to them, when I ended up in a corner. Well, I say talking to them, but the reality is that I was standing there, while they talked. Several of them were smoking and waving said cigarettes around. I tried to tolerate it, but it was becoming more than uncomfortable to me. I ended up waving the cigarette smoke away. The guy got really defensive and I began to walk inside again. As I stepped through the threshold he yelled after me, 'Fucking non smokers. Really ruin a party.'

I muttered to myself 'May as well go home'. As soon as those words had left my mouth I knew that was the best option for me. I put my glass down, said good bye to the roomie and the hen. Walked to the door, put my shoes on, yelled goodbye to my friend, and walked.

I was feeling quite green around the gills by the time I got home. My stomach was rejecting the quality of food that I'd been eating. It wasn't until I got rid of the last cocktail frank (all four of them!) that my stomach began to settle.

And then I watched an episode of NCIS and went to bed. What a riveting night.

16 comments:

*~Dani~* said...

Ugh your poor friend. She should never have caved to her friends' demands for her own party.

kimba said...

How crap! They sound like a mob of anti-social wankers. x

The Mutant said...

Sounds like a shit of a night, the poor Hen, it can't have been what she wanted. As for the cock-cake, I won't give the game away except to say that yours has everything I look for in a penis!

fingers said...

Well, at least you discovered life's not going to get any easier for you when you become a lezzer...

MissE said...

Oh god... what you just described would have to be my absolute worst nightmare. I am not an outgoing person by nature and being at a party where I barely know anyone... *shudder*

But talk about a bunch of rude people. That smoking guy should have a cigarette shoved up his nose, lit end first. I wish there was something non-smokers could do to smokers that would let them know how we feel when they smoke all over us.

Fallen Angel said...

Sounds more like you spent the evening with a bunch of clucks!

Josh said...

I'm afraid to ask what you used to fill the pinata. Something just seems wrong about hitting a big phallic effigy until it breaks...

xl said...

Just guessing, I say the center cake, the one with the chastity band.

Ben said...

What hell. Considering this was for a friends sister too... not a close friend.

I hope the bride to be appreciated your effort to give her a nice part.

Cazzie!!! said...

Clearly they are rude and insolent and unworthy of your presence...I'd have you over any time.
Bets are the wacky backy was what made you feel crook, even if you were not smoking it. I know I cannot stand the smell of it and I have never smoked it myself...yukk.

Ms Smack said...

Bunch of bitches!

Fanny F said...

Trolls, Phish. Don't even give them another thought.

Loved the cakes .. not sure which one is yours though.

sparsely kate said...

I too am wary of groups of women in a bunch..seems to bring out the worst in a few of them! Better to just meet one or two for a coffee eh? :)

Anyway, love those photos I had a good laugh at the crunchy nuts at the bottom of one little penis.

It's going to be a good year for you girl..

Captain Smack said...

What the hell? You didn't even get laid? The opening of this post was very misleading. I want my money back.

Maggie said...

They sound like a bunch of jerks, the whole lot of them. I'm sorry you didn't have a better time; how sad. Maybe the next party?

Effortlessly Average said...

Now you see what we men face every f'ing time we try to date one of you impossible to please women. lol. Stick with men, we're a lot easier.