Thursday, February 07, 2008

Movie reviews

If you haven't seen Sweeny Todd... don't! Its like a cross between Quentin Tarantino and Baz Luhrmann! But Johnny Depp soooo hooot.


I saw I Am Legend the other day. I was going to see it in the cinema, but a close friend of mine told me it was shit. Yes, it was Green Eyes. Slap yourself across the back of the head if you didn't guess. So I managed to get a hold of a dvd copy of it, and I watched it at home.

Why, Why, WHY did they CGI the deer and the lions? That just shitted me!

I'm pretty sure that if I was stabbed in the leg, and I was being threatened by zombies, I'd get up and run, instead of butt sliding backwards and hoping that they just hung back. For that matter. Why did they hang back? They let the hell hounds out but stayed back and let them get away?

Why the fuck was he pissed about the chickie eating the bacon? Yes. He had been without company for 3 years and that does strange things to you, but seriously, DUDE! You are in the company of another living, breathing human. Which means you get BLOWJOBS! Blowjobs much better than bacon.

What the fuck was it with that bull vampire/zombie thing? Why would he lead all of his minions so far for one measly piece of flesh? Why didn't they just get him when he was putting the dog in the car after it got mauled by the hell hounds.

For that matter, why did he not shoot the dog when it got bitten? Instead he takes it home where he tries to save it and she ends up turning, trying to rip his face off and he has to CHOKE it. Which was a shame because she was absolutely gorgeous. Fuck I love shepherds. And not just McDreamy.

Oh, one more thing! Seriously, the guy has an IMMUNITY to the disease. So there must be something about HIM that gives him that immunity. Why didn't he study HIS OWN BLOOD instead of injecting freaky zombie rats with random shit and hoping they got better?

Fuck. I know its a zombie flick. But I hate plot holes.


oestrebunny said...

I actually really liked Sweeney Todd....Couldn't agree more with you on I am Legend though. What a pile o' pish! I think it missed the point that was made in the book as well.

Scorpy said...

I'm going to see the preview of 'Jumpers' next looks good. the same director as Bourne Identity and Mr and Mrs smith...the shorts look great but then again so did the shorts for legend

sharnee said...

Yeah, I agree that I am Legend was pretty craptastic (soooo many plot holes and not enough explanations). And I mean... if you had the whole of NYC at your disposal... you'd have much cooler stuff than one Van Gough painting or whatever he had.

I am looking fwd to seeing Sweeny Todd though, I love Tim Burton movies.

OneHungMan said...

Tough movie for OneHung to watch. The Hungs almost left the theater in the first few minutes.

itelli said...

I downloaded the first, saw the first 20 mins, then quit. Too much singing. Not my cup of tea these days.

As for the second, I am still resisting, since everyone i know said I shouldn't watch it. Except for a cabbie who said it was "awesome!" Draw ur own conclusions...

Sgt said...

I did wonder about the dog. Everything else on the planet is trying to kill you.. your dog is obviously infected.. that should be your queue to get as far away from it as possible.

Oh well.. guess it wouldn't be drama if it was practical.

Josh said...

I thought he was injecting the rats with substances he created from his own antibodies... or maybe I was reading too much into it.