How forever feels

Big news. So excited. Can't type. Two words. Per Sentence. Chance of a LIFETIME. Ok, that was more that two words but I can't count at the moment. I'm going to dance. Or jump around like a spastic.

Big orange ball, sinkin' in the water
Toes in the sand, couldn't get much hotter
Little umbrella shaped margaritas
Coconut oil, tannin' senioritas
Now I know how Jimmy Buffet feels

Hands on the wheel, cruisin' down the interstate
Gas pedal sticks, carries my car away
I was going fast as a Rambler goes
I could feel the speed from my head to my toes
Now I know how Richard Petty feels

I've been around the block a time or two
Done almost everything a boy can do
I've done some livin', yeah I've had fun
But there is one thing that I haven't done

Saved two months, bought a little diamond
Tonights the night, feels like perfect timin'
Down on one knee on momma's front steps
Man I'm gonna die if she really says yes
I wanna know how forever feels

I've been around the block a time or two
Done almost everything a boy can do
I've done some livin', yeah I've had fun
But there is one thing that I haven't done

I wanna know how forever feels
Hey, I wanna know how forever feels
Girl, I wanna know how forever feels

Falling in Love

I believe in love. But I dont beleive that it exists for me. Its not sad. It doesnt hurt. Its just a fact of life. I'm not saying this for attention. And I do NOT want anybody to try to convince me otherwise. To me, this kind of epiphany is about as dramtic as 'I have toes'.

I came to this realisation at my best friends wedding. And I said it to a close friend of mine. And she spent the whole night trying to convince me otherwise. I hated it. If anybody else had said that you'd think that they were trying to make the night about them, in a kind of 'pay attention to me' kind of way. I'm too independant to go for that crap in the first place. And I do genuinely like my own company. The most appropriate response in that situation was 'oh bummer' or 'that sucks'.

And to commemorate this momentous occasion, I choose to share some lyrics that sum up my thoughts almost exactly...

*************************************
Presenting 'Falling in Love'

Falling in love with love
Is falling for make-believe
Falling in love with love
Is playing the fool

Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy
Learning to trust is just
For children in school

I fell in love with love one night
When the moon was full
I was unwise with eyes
Unable to see
Falling in love with love
With love ever after
But love fell out with me

I fell in love with love one night
When the moon was ful
lI was unwise with eyes
Unable to see

I fell in love with love
With love everlasting
But love fell out with me

Get well soon mom!

I've been sick. Again. Its not enough to be sick during my holidays. Now I have a secondary infection, in all of its green mucousy, vomtastic, drug taking glory.

It was my first day back at work from my big holiday. And about 20 minutes in I'm making like I hadn't seen the toilet bowl at work in YEARS. I gave it a big cuddle. Then went and made myself a doctors appointment and now have three more days off work.

So I went home, dosed up on all the drugs I could find, which was, alas, a very poor selection, and put myself to bed. And I'm lying there, all sick, and achey and felling like badness, when Boots brings me a present to cheer me up. She comes into the room with this thing in her mouth, leaps onto the bed, and drops it.











For those of you who need assistance to interpret the picture. It is the cap off a shaving gel can. It still has soap scum on the inside, and must have been on the floor of my mould encrusted shower for some time before she discovered its delights. Its fun to push around, see.


I’m honoured that she chose to share this very special, most disgusting gift with me.

Its September

Again. And that can onlt mean one thing. Christmas decorations.



This photo was taken just over a week ago. If you can't see it clearly, its christmas cakes, and puddings, and mince pies. In September.

Honestly I'd feel sickened by it, if it weren't for the big $0 price tag at the bottom. Apparently its free to sell your soul these days...

Part 2

How awesome are holidays. I have had the most fun down south. And I have come up with the following conclusion – I love Melbourne!

My time in Melbourne has been quite busy. Friday consisted of spending time with one of my high school mates. Then going to see rello’s. Followed by quality time out with my cousin and his mates at the elephant and wheelbarrow. And let me tell you girls and gays – the lead singer in that band was hotter than instant coffee. And I’ll bet he tasted better too. My cousins mates weren’t sure about the capacity in which I was present. And I was fine to let them wonder. It meant that I didn’t have to worry about peeling various hands from various body parts all night long. I looked damn hot too.

The wedding was amazing. It was my first. The bride looked amazing, naturally. I spent most of the time catching up with the bridesmaid. Another mate of mine from school. My one regret about the wedding was that I couldn’t the there for the hens night or engagement party. I was so looking forward to the big day, and it was over so damn fast it was depressing. Plus I didn’t actually get to talk much to the bride. I’m not worried or offended. I’m honored that I was chosen to go.

It was quite amusing though. Because I didn’t know anybody there, I made some friends reeaal fast. We went to the pub for a few drinkies between the ceremony and the reception. And it turns out that some of the guys that I went along with, and shared a table with at the reception, had been out at the same pub as I the previous night. In fact, one of them looked damn familiar. The kind of familiarity that begins with being watched. That sounds more creepy than it was. This guy was watching me at the E&W, waiting for the tall dark haired guy to leave my side. What are the odds of that? Then he was really chatting me up at the wedding. Having gone there by myself I kinda stuck out like a sore thumb during the couple dances. So he’d come over and chat to me. At the end of the night he was encouraging me to go out with them all. And then he told me if he ever came to Sydney he’d look me up. And I should do the same next time I was down in Melbourne. What are the odds of THAT?!?

Blogger, I heart you! Because of your wonderful communication medium, I was able to see Kez, and even go shoe shopping, without having to worry about catching up on the past five years. So it was immediately into conversations about blokes and commitment and baby shoes.

I have also noticed something else that is very peculiar about Melbourne. The train lines (or, in the very least the line I was traveling on) are not fenced off. They have roads, running along a very wide nature strip, and then bam! The train line. Or car parks at the station, where gravel runs right up to the curb.

So I’ve come to the sedate (read: boring) country. Where there is nothing to do, and all the time in the world to do it! I’ve bummed around the house, and gone out with a high school mate. And I’ve been thoroughly bored. My little home town, where nothing ever changes. Where you will still find your high school ‘male friend’ working the same dead end job, still being a knuckle dragger. I occasionally go in and ogle it. Only occasionally. Because sometimes a girl needs to be reminded about why she has her standards. And it works to kill the libido when its getting out of hand.

Coming soon – nose rings and snot regulation AND the joys of fake tanning moisturizer! Stay tuned folks. I’m learning lots on my holidays.

Holidays with Phish pt.1

So I'm on holidays. About damn time too. The last two days at work SUCKED balls, and arse. All at the same time. But I'm not going into that. Cuz I'm on holidays and don't need to think about that shite.

What I am going to think about is what I'm going to tell you here.

I have spent a fair bit of time in transit ove the last few days. Travelling to the airport. Flying to Melb, and on public transport to visit a high school mate today. And I have come to the following conclusions.

1. American express is predatory. Coming through the security check into the actual gates everybody goes down an escalator. And Amex has a stand there to prospect out potential suckers. Sorry, customers. Cue phishy walking through, following two people. Amex guys thinking 'middle aged businessman. No. Young businesswoman in a suit. Pass. Young single white female - go!Go!!GO!!!' 'Excuse me ma'am...' I could see him casing me out as I went through the metal detectors. And as I approached he was practially salivating. It was kinda like watching a shark pick out its prey. If sharks could salivate. And its prey could defend itself by not looking at it and responding with a 'not interested'.
2. I like Melbourne's public transport better than Sydneys. Sure Sydney's carry more. But the trains are old and smelly and always crowded. Even when your the only one in the carriage. Melbourne trains are open and airy. And, unless someone is standing, always look inviting. Except the seat next to the fat tattoo'd bloke with shorts that are waaay too tihgt, or have bits falling out the side. And theres the added bonus that ONE ticket will cover you for ALL trains, buses and trams in your set zones. OF WHICH THERE ARE ONLY THREE. So one ticket can cover you for all public transport in, around, and occasionally far from the city. Fact! And then there are the trams. They are so cool. Potentially deadly, but very cool. They are such a novelty to non-Melbournites.
3. I was thinking I could drive in Melbourne. That its not much different from driving in Sydney. And then I saw someone do a hook turn. And I thought 'I was wrong'.

Sure to blog about in the next few days;

Tomorrow* - the wedding

Sunday* - meeting with Kez

Sometime soon* - post from my sister. Get thinking babe!

*Blogging is unlikely to be done on those days, except for the 'sometime soon bit'. Cuz thats not a day.

Bitch, moan and complain.

Yes, you heard me. ALL THREE. About 10 times over. Todays topic... work. Or work ethics. Or a lack thereof.

Last week was hell with flourescent lighting. We have been having staffing issues of late. And by that I mean UNDERstaffing issues. And when I say of late I mean about FOUR months. Of 7 positions we have 5 staff members. And thats 7 FULL ON positions. We're split over two sections. There's three in my section, and two in the other. And last week, in my section, one person was on holidays, and the other person was at a conference the last three days. So it was my supervisor, Mr Bare-Minimum, and myself. He had three of my four normal areas, while I had the areas belonging to the one on holidays, and when the other went to the conference I took her normal areas too. PLUS all of my normal autoclave preparations. It was exhausting. Physically and mentally to say the least. I wasn't finishing until the whistle blew. But I never complained.

Today I went into my normal areas and find that Mr BM is an overstatement for this guy. I left instructions in the diary for everything. I always do, even for myself. So I NEVER forget anything. He hadn't changed any water bottles or room filters. In ANY of the rooms. In one room I found a massive oversight. That I had written in the diary to watch out for. This then makes my job alot harder as I had to estimate when it happened, and I may not wean the babies on time. It may be too early or too late. If its too early, then the babies will not have the same immune system or growth compared to the others. If she's pregant soon after, and I mistime weaning, I can have newborns and weaners still together. Lots of potential for disaster there.

In another room I find fighting animals that should really have been sparated last week.

In the other area that he took over I literally had to crank out the elbow grease and cleaners to scrub filth from the animal pens. At 20 minutes to knock off.

The thing that really bites, is that Mr BM was complaining to the people who share our facility that I have no right to complain or take so long about my job. Which is utter CRAP and they all know it. Even though they didnt say anything to him at the time. I work damn hard and I'm quick. In the time he took to change one room I normally have it cleaned, all the paperwork is done, the waterbottles are changed and the floor is disinfected.

He also boasted that he had FOUR rooms PLUS the communal clean that happens at the end of each day. Which is bullshit. He only checked the other room three times. By that logic I had 7 rooms. And he did no communal clean. I did. And I did ALL of the autoclaving preparation for my department. His boast was my standard week, and he didn't even do that.

I need a holiday, or a new job. I have a holiday coming up (one work day left in fact), but I don't think that it will be enough.

Careerone here I come.

My two cents

I know its a bit late, but I have something to say.

I'd like to air my views on the untimely death of Steve Irwin.

Jay Leno called him 'the greatest ambassador Australia ever had'. Wrong. He was a great ambassador for the STEREOTYPE that Americans WANTED to see us as. Very different to the way we are. Like most Australians I did not appreciate his portrayal of our great nation. But I had to admire his attitude to our attitude to him. He knew it, and acknowledged it. And didn't care. Like any true Aussie.

Germaine 'sodding' Greer called him an 'animal tormentor' and stated that the animals had had their revenge, or something similar. Wrong again. Steve Irwin has done more single handedly for conservation than any living person. Except maybe David Attenborogh. But maybe not. He has bought massive tracts of land, to keep them in their natural state. He raised so much awareness of our own unique (or, as we Aussies say, boring) wildlife. But he didn't stop there. He cared for all wildlife. Native or introduced. Rare or pest. From scorpions to whales. And he was so passionate about what he did. And that worked up enthusiasm in others. He taught many people more than just the basics about animals. But for all that, in the end he committed one of the most basic and dangerous errors. He approached an animal in a threatening position, and he surprised it.

When I forst heard of his death, like most people, I was stunned. For all of his foolishness he seemed immortal. Like he had superpowers. And in a way, he did. Wouldn't we all like to conquer our fears?

As an Australian I'd be inclined to remember him as a bloody idiot. Bearing in mind any description of a person beginning with 'bloody' is a compliment. But as an educated animal professional, I feel it is an irrevocable loss.

I am returnded

Hello fellow bloggers. I have given up all hopes of finding a life. For a while there I seemed to be doing pretty well. But that was then, and now is blogging.

I have myself a pretty new computer. So I intend to spend my weekend sitting in front of it, slowly making myself blind. Yes people... this one's got a DVD player!!! So I can watch as much porn as I want. Apparently self love makes you go blind too. Who'd've thunk it?

But the advantage of having a shiny new 'puter, and a shiny new phone, is that they combine to override my almost complete technological fucktardary!!! Thus, I have pictures...


Rai (pronounced Rye(as in the seed)-AH(as in the noise you make after sex)









Boots




Rai again, just cuz its pretty




Me and boots, two pretty faces in one pic








Just because I can








Y'all come back now!

Be Back Soon

I hate being on hold. Its such a waste of time. I hate hold music. ALL hold music.

Crappy jingles that companies put on to advertise their stuff drive me up the wall. Like, HELLO!!! I'm WANTING to talk to you. There is no need to push MORE of your product at me with these CRAPPY jingles. Its worse when they have about one minute of jingle and about 10 minutes of hold. If its not bad enough the first time, they'll make you listen to the bloody thing again... and again... and again... until it is so firmly etched into your brain that 5 years down the track, in one pure moment of complete peace, it will raise its ugly, irritating head. And the worst bit of all, is that the momery is only lodged in the 'I'm bored' part of your brain. So when you actually NEED to remember said company, or one of their products, you'll just have that crappy 'its on the edge of my brain' feeling when you can't quite remember something. And its not life-and-death enough to go google it.

Classical music takes my insanity, drives it out to the country, and leaves it there. Never to be seen again. I think I'm the only person to get pissed off by classical hold music. They play it to appease us. And for that reason alone I hate it. Stop messing with my head and answer the damn phone.

No hold music is the worst. It gives me nothing on which to focus my rage at being on hold. So I think. And that's never a good thing to do. My brain comes up with some really odd things at times.

And if the hold music isn't bad enough, there are the little interruptions where they tell you that your call is important, your time is important, we want your business, just wait 15 fucking minutes more. Pigs arse I'm important to you. I'm only calling because its direly important and I can't get to the appropriate section on your webpage. Or you backwards fuckers don't have a goddamned webpage!!! Each time the hold music comes off, there's a little pause, and possibly a dial tone, and your heart races. You think you're actually going to talk to a real person. You straighten up, you actually smile, thinking your phone ordeal is almost over. And then you hear it... "[Said company] appreaciates...." bullshit. You slump back down and stare blankly at the wall, desk, space etc. That bit is the worst. I count those bits. It doesn't make me feel any better. Its the effect that hold music has on me. It scrambles my brain.

But I'm always nice to the operator. I know its not their fault. Unless its centrelink and they're telling me I owe them $400 (which took 5 months to prove I didn't, but thats another story)!!!

At the end of the call I gently place the phone back in its cradle. Slowly get up or turn away from the phone. The hold music has defeated me. Then I spin back towards the phone and do my best impression of the 'Spiderweb, with no spider but leaves-which-scare-the-crap-out-of-me, and-then-make-me-angry-for-being-scared-at-leaves' dance towards said offensive object.

Hire some more operators dammit!

And now a word from...

How good are pods? I've only just discovered them. Seems I've been living under a rock. A huge rock. AYERS ROCK!!!

I want to have sex with the person who came up with the concept.