I believe in love. But I dont beleive that it exists for me. Its not sad. It doesnt hurt. Its just a fact of life. I'm not saying this for attention. And I do NOT want anybody to try to convince me otherwise. To me, this kind of epiphany is about as dramtic as 'I have toes'.
I came to this realisation at my best friends wedding. And I said it to a close friend of mine. And she spent the whole night trying to convince me otherwise. I hated it. If anybody else had said that you'd think that they were trying to make the night about them, in a kind of 'pay attention to me' kind of way. I'm too independant to go for that crap in the first place. And I do genuinely like my own company. The most appropriate response in that situation was 'oh bummer' or 'that sucks'.
And to commemorate this momentous occasion, I choose to share some lyrics that sum up my thoughts almost exactly...
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Presenting 'Falling in Love'
Falling in love with love
Is falling for make-believe
Falling in love with love
Is playing the fool
Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy
Learning to trust is just
For children in school
I fell in love with love one night
When the moon was full
I was unwise with eyes
Unable to see
Falling in love with love
With love ever after
But love fell out with me
I fell in love with love one night
When the moon was ful
lI was unwise with eyes
Unable to see
I fell in love with love
With love everlasting
But love fell out with me
5 comments:
Wow, that's a pretty big statement Phishy.
Dare i say it, it could be a self fulfilling prophecy.
If you firmly believe love doesn't exist for you, your eyes will be closed to it, and it WON'T exist for you.
That's very deep for me. Huzzah!
How Bizzare!! I have the same feeling. I was even thinking about it this morning. It doeasn't bother me. I am alone now, so what's the difference if I am still alone in 30-40-50 years.
I can still have my cats!
I think there are different levels of "In love." It seems to me that if you have the fairy tale, sappy romance novel, chick flick version of falling in love, then no, it doesn't exist for anyone, no matter how "wonderful" they tell you it is. Love is hard work and requires a lot of commitment.
I do believe that there is someone for everyone. I guess it's hard for me not to believe that considering I found someone for me. If I can find someone willing to put up with all my stupid quirks, I'm sure someone as rockin' as yourself will, too.
Hope your feeling better, hon.
Chuck
Steph - True. I dont have my eyes closed to it. I'm not closed to it. If it happens I'll be the first to admit I'm wrong. I just think when they were handing out everybody else's someone I was in the wrong line.
And that was very deep for ANYBODY!
Jana - its not about being alone. You still have your family, friends and workmates.
Chuck - I dont have the perfect view of romance. I do expect alot out of everybody, but I am also a realist. I know it is hard work. And I wasn't feeling bad about it. It was just a realisation.
I guess some people find it easy - like those people who fall in love all the fricking time. And I guess some of us don't.
Also, some people just seem to inspire it - a category I most definitely do not seem to be in. Then again, I think I am misanthropic by nature which can't help much :p
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