Saturday, October 28, 2006

Drop it like its hot

I'd like to start of by thanking Steph for breaking the blog barrier on this topic.

You know how hard it is to concentrate when you've gotta take a dump? Its like a fair chunk of your mind is concentrating so hard on deliberately trying to ignore it. I had that feeling this morning. But I thought I could hang on to it to let it go until I got home. It had other ideas. About three o'clock it started demanding my attention. But at that stage of the day its too far away from finishing to have them sitting in the tea room, but close enough knock off to have everyone looking to start slacking, and wandering in and out of the locker room at will.

For me taking a dump is a private experience, that is best savoured as much as possible. And having other people intrude, or making it a quickie doesn't really do it for me. So I decided to wait. Unfortunately by the time I remembered I had to go shopping after work it was WAY too late to let it go. Plus I was sooo busy.

About 5.30 it raised its voice. Tramping round my colon and knocking on the walls. 'Let me out of here'. It wanted freedom. I was too restricting for it. But I was reluctant to let it go. Public toilets do not make for the ideal escape setting. Plus they smell. It tried to creep out a few times while I was shopping. But my sphincter agreed with me, and subsequently escapes where prevented. Such was my desperation that I considered letting it go out in the car park. Just squatting out there and dropping him off. That thought lasted all of about 0.3 seconds before it was dismissed.

I managed to quell his escape attempts. And upon reaching home release was almost (but not quite) intantaneous. And it felt... words cannot describe.

Suffice to say its the kind of satisfaction that usually results in a nap afterwards.


Steph said...

You know you're in trouble when it starts headbutting your undies.

I can't go in public loos either. I need the comfort and privacy of my own dunny.

Chuck said...

Home field advantage. A must for the "major transaction."

Those types of sessions are like a religious experience. Almost like you need a cigarette afterwards.

BTW, See what you started, Steph? I hope you're happy. : )

hawkeye23 said...

Public loos for poos are just wrong. Work loos aren't much better; I prefer to poo in the privacy of my own home as well. However, lately my colon has buggered up its timing, and work poos have become necessary. Hopefully the start of daylight saving will sort out my body clock, and I can resume pooing in the privacy of my own home again.

poody said...

headbutting your undies! LOL We call that turtlenecking.I have to go at my house only which makes for some uncomfortable vacations.I love that ya'll call craping a poo. Here that is a honey bear for children Winnie the Poo. And we also have a show called My Friend Flicka... how do you like that one?

phishez_rule said...

Steph - no skid marks, but it was freaking close!

Chuck - I don't smoke, so the nap thing works for me

hawkeye - thats classic. I sincerely hope it all works out for you

poody - we get winnie the poo too.

hawkeye23 said...

He he he. I held on as long as I could yesterday, but daylight saving has meant that I had to work poo at 4pm. I hope to hold on a bit longer each day. Hopefully in a fortnight's time, I'll be back pooing in the comfort and privacy of my very own bathroom.

mist1 said...

I can't believe you actually blogged about this. Fabulous. Last night, I was so uncomfortable that I didn't even have time for spell check. The worst thing was that I wasn't at home. I almost didn't make it.

phishez_rule said...

Hawkeye - good luck for that. Then you can relax and enjoy it!

Mist - I can't beleive I blogged it either. Too late to take it back now!