I have two very pretty dresses. Amazingly pretty dresses. They are my 'first date dress' and my 'second date dress'. My second date dress is just a flattering as the first, if not a tad formal and old fashioned. But its gorgeous and I've had more comments about this dress than the other. I swear I want my wedding dress modelled on this dress. Where the first is flirty/pretty, this one is classic-gorgeous. I swear I could wear prostitue red lipstick and not look slutty in this dress.
But I have no occasion to wear these dresses. So I've worn them yesterday and today. First and second respectively.
I went to the allergy clinic at work today. All dressed up. I looked like a literal lady. Like your grandma but much, much younger. I'm used to the drill at the clinic. And so when my name got called I went with the murse and jumped on the scales. Since I was there six months ago I've put on 2.7 kilos. According to those scales. And the murse made the very stupid comment 'you've put on weight' and then he actually TUTTED at me! Fucker was lucky I didn't immediately leap over the scales and tear his eyeballs out! I might have looked like a lady but I was a little scrag kid and I lived in the country for three years. I can hold my own.
For the record guys: there are two subjects you CANNOT discuss with women. Age and weight. End of story. Participation is at your own risk and possible consequences include having your testicles confiscated. You have been officially warned.