Vombarrasment

You know how you have those moments, where you learn something that you probably should have already known? This is my story of one of those moments.

I went to the Jenolan Caves yesterday. Day 1 of my holidays. And it was fantastic. Well worth the butt numbing 2 and a half hour drive. There was one teensy problem. I hadn't had breakfast and so by the time I got there my blood sugars had dipped. No biggie. I bought my ticket for my tour, grabbed a sammich and bolted it down. Which was all good.

Except that after the 2 hour tour I had that head crushing, low sugar warning that your body does. So I headed back to the cafeteria to grab another sammich. Then I headed off to do a quick self guided tour of one of the caves,which was good but nowhere near as awesome as the tour I'd just been on, and my legs had decided to stop working by that stage.

So I jumped back in the car and decided to head home. Figuring I'd be back by about 7 and should miss peak hour. Somewhere along the road I got this funny feeling in the back of my throat. Which quickly became a funny feeling in my stomach. I pulled over rather quickly, opened the door and leaned out. And what do you know! A magic puddle just appeared on the ground in front of me! I figured that was that, closed the door and drove off.

And I was fine until just before the main turn off. Then the queasyness returned. I decided to try to make it to a servo so I could buy some form of pain killer, plus a sugary drink, and possibly lose the rest of my stomach contents if need be.

I made it to the servo, went inside, selected what I wanted, and approached the counter. Where the lady behind the counter proceeded to have a lengthy discussion with the guy in front of me about everything and anything. And the queasy feeling hit me full force. I held it back, made my purchases and went outside for the toilets.

It came up. I swallowed it down. It came up again. I clamped my hand across my mouth, thinking I'd successfully contained it. Until I felt those twin rivulets running down the back of my fingers. It was at that exact moment that I learned that once you start vomiting out your nose, there is no point trying to hold it back. There is no point. Let it go. Which is what I did. Explosively. All over the ground, my wallet, the $10 note I didn't have time to put in my wallet, and the box of neurophen I'd just bought. And myself.

I bolted into the toilet, and attempted to clean myself up. Releasing the rest of the last dodgy sandwich. And taking two pills before I left. I felt surprisingly ok after that. But on the walk back to my car I held my bag in front of the icky bits, pretending to rummage through it for something.

Though the first things I did when I go home were to have a shower and wash my clothes.

I threw out the wallet. And am now carrying around its essential contents in a ziplock bag.