Adventure Walks!

I've taken up a new sport. You know, because I'm trying to lose weight and all. I call it adventure walking. And its very... adventurous. I'm thinking of marketing this to tourists to the area. And I'd like your ideas on it.

On our patented adventure walk, you can see

• A vast array of wild birds. Crows, galahs, pigeons, corella's to name a few. And I'm sure as the weather warms up you'll also be able to see quite a few of our famed Aussie Snakes. Though be careful. Most of them are highly venomous. Remember how Steve Irwin used to handle these creatures? Well, he's dead isn't he. So don't touch them.

• The occasional possum. Most likely dead from being hit by a train passing outside the reserve. Avoid at all costs, the smell is enough to make a maggot gag.
  

• Some serious hotties playing ball. Yum!
  

• Bike shorts. And those in bike shorts. A 15 minute walk at appropriate times will have you seeing literally hundreds of lycra encased buttocks. Of all shapes and sizes. And when I say all, I mean ALL. Its a visual feast of sub standard food that even the starving in Africa would reject.
  

• The occasional Aussie Bloke, just to mix things up. The Aussie Bloke rarely wears his shirt, and is either lobster red or omo bright white. I have seen some classic examples on this walk. One prime example was so rotund he looked pregnant, boobs and all! You can't help but have your stare attracted to this man. Even though there is a very loud voice in your brain screaming 'Abort! Abort! ABORT!'
  

• You don't have to worry about being accosted by the natives. Indeed, the natives vehemently ignore you. Even if you make eye contact, rip your shirt off and jump up and down screaming your lungs out. Some of the native males will attempt to approach you. Though they are quite often very focused on the area below the female's neck, and above her waist.
  

• Some of the natives run. Running girls = bouncing boobs.
  

• Just outside this reserve, is a nice, quiet residential area. And one morning a week it transforms into the vilest of slums. This happens on bin day. Yes. Everybody takes a weeks worth of smelly garbage and leaves it on the street. Along with mattresses, prams, old TV's. It is best to avoid the area all day if possible. Cripes, I thought our garbage area smelt bad on bin day, but to walk past these bins even 12 hours after they've been emptied, and they still smell worse than ours!
  

• And of course, flies. It is Australia after all.
  

So where can you find this magical place? Why, its not that far from here. I walk it twice a day, every day, weather permitting. To and from work.

Who knew getting to work would be so entertaining.