Thursday, November 15, 2007

I have big knockers.

Huge. Gigantuan even. And they can cause some problems. For instance, it can be difficult to wear halter necks and low cut singlets. Granted, I wear them anyway, but it can be difficult sometimes. Take today for instance. I bought a new dress last night. And its fugly but its hot. Go figure. The print on it is fugly, but the cut is hot and it works with the cut.

Anyhoo, its a halter neck. The lowest cut I've ever had at the back. Its so low that there is a strap that ties above where the back of your bra would be. And its low cut at the front. There's a steel ring between my boobs, and all you can see is flesh underneath. Observe.


So as you can see, its not really accommodating for me to wear a bra. So I don't. In return, I have to hitch up the halter high, and tie it pretty tight at the back. And this lift the girls up, making them look fab.

Anyhoo. Today we all went out to lunch. And we were walking down some stairs, the girls bouncing a little as we went, and suddenly the halter came a little loose on the back of my neck. I reach up to tighten it, only to find the knot is still secure. WTF?!?

I pull on the string and it is definitely loose.

Glancing down and I see that the strap has pulled out the top. Yep. I almost had a Tara Reid moment. My knockers were so heavy that they broke the damn dress on the first day I wore it!

And nobody has a pin.

Oh noes! What am I going to do?

The good news is, I was in the scouts. I fixed it with two paperclips. Good as new. Fuck, it was so good, I could be MacGyver's lovechild.

Anyhoo. Dress all fixed now. Knockers still big. All good.

Now, just because I'm such a comment whore. If this post gets 50 comments, I'll post a pic of them for you. That should bring my lurkers out of the woodwork.

And no spamming. *looking at Fingers, Kitty, OHM, Josh and Spiky*

*and Crushed and Steve and T, and Y, and Bug... Ahh fukkit*

*Looks at everything with a penis, Kitty and Spiky*

NO SPAMMING! Spammed comments will not be counted!

52 comments:

Steve B said...

50 comments you say, I've been reading a few blogs, this and a small few are my favorites, thou I am looking to blog myself.. hhmmm I'd Rather read. So how do you fix it with 2 clips? sounds rather clever :)

The T-Dude said...

You would have made a fine farm girl. They could fix anything with bubble gum and baling wire. Very self-reliant types. In fact, I remember a girl when I was growing up who got snowed in alone at the farm, about 12 years old mind you, and she got kicked by a horse. Big gash in the leg. What did she do? Sewed herself up. After the storm, went to the doc and he just left them in 'cause they were doing a fine job.

Josh said...

That is udderly ridiculous and yet impressive that you could break a dress with your chesticles.

What is wrong with ham in a can? Everybody loves spam!

Ima Wurdibitsch said...

That's some impressive boobage you have going on there, girlfriend. Very nice.

I've nearly given up on going braless in anything less than leather or vinyl.

OneHungMan said...

OHM resembles that remark.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I notice you didn't mentioned whether or not they'd be covered?

Can we have a definite statement on this? :)

fingers said...

Where did you get that steel ring...a basketball court ??

phishez_rule said...

Steve - welcome out of lurksville! I pinned the strap and the top together with one clip, wrapped them around each other, and secured them with the second clip.

T - bet they loaded her up with antibiotics though!

Josh - the only things that should come in a can are fruit and condensed milk.

Ima - lol! How often do you wear those?

OHM - which remark? Ima's?

Ingsoc - depends how much comment action I get. If it goes over 50, then uncovered. If not, then either covered, up permanently, or uncovered, but only for a few hours.

Fingers - you must be confusing me with Betty or MissE, mine aren't quite that big.

Tyler Durden said...

OK so here is my contribution to see your funbags. I am also setting up the e-mail alarm, since it is only fair that you tell us when the rack is on display.

the kid from the shire said...

I all UP for it :p even if I have to stand up and take a breather.

xl said...

OK, this is my contribution toward the 50.

Keshi said...

hey girl is that u in the pic? WOW u do hv big ones :) NICE!

I love halter neck tops.

Keshi.

Lad Litter said...

If you don't get 50 comments after promising a full viewing, there's something terribly wrong in the blogosphere.

Betty said...

I am loving that you called yourself macgyuvers love bitch. "Fixed it with two safety pins"
mwhahaha, I had a big chuckle at this.

The dress is pretty! Love your hair colour.

Mizanthrop said...

Doing my bit....35 to go.

Manic Martha said...

God, anything to further this cause. Bring on the titties!!!

Scorpy said...

Some guy called Fingers just sent me an email and told me to Comment ;) LOL

mutleythedog said...

I never lurk nor stalk - I simply admire from afar....

JP said...

Never it it be said I didn't do my part!

Anonymous said...

This is my first time here and I can't wait to see em. I'll show you mine if...


nudeman40@yahoo.com

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I'm thinking about that.

Lowry said...

If you need someone to hold em' back so you don't have that Tara Reid moment...

Anonymous said...

only 28??

Anonymous said...

we need to see them people!!!

OneHungMan said...

Your comment about OHM spamming just to see some hooters.

Betty said...

I'm not commenting again because I need to see Phishez's boobies. I'm just commenting because I had something else to say that was interesting and blog worthy.

But now I have forgotton.

woopsy!

Betty said...

that was a wasted comment up there. I don't know what I was thinking.

oh dear, and now here is another.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Did you know Australia is four million miles NEARER the sun in AUS Summer, than we are in our summer

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Of course, we are nearer in winter.

This is why climate in the Southern hemisphere is more exteme.

Livy said...

I think the top is fab, the pattern is very paisley, very now. My boobies are 20DD, so I know exactly what you mean. Last night they had a bra special on Today Tonight, a new bra has just come out that you can completely switch around to make it go with any outfit. My boobs are far too large and saggy to go braless. *sigh*

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

50, huh? Well, I’m number 43 so we’re almost there.

Josh said...

So when you get you chesticles out you wont be needing those paperclips anymore.

I am guessing with your MacGyver skills and the paper clips you will be able to build a nuclear reactor or some such..

Ah Scouts..dib dib dib dob dob dob...come and look what is behind this bush little boy...much easier to see it with your shorts of don't you think?

phishez_rule said...

Some people don't understand NO SPAMMING!

I'm not counting spammed comments. And then there was the request for keeping them to myself. Which I'm taking one comment off the tally for.

So right now we're actually at 26 comments, including this.

Tyler - It will be at the end of the first post after it gets to 50.

Keshi - they are big.

Lad - Comment whoring at its worst

Betty - it was two paperclips. Much more impressive.

Martha - Hi there. Didn't know you still hung around.

Scorpy - lol, I wouldn't actually put it past the dirty bugger.

Mutley - they're big enough to do so.

Ingsoc - some interesting facts. But spamming isn't counted.

Lowry - lol. But no spamming.

OHM - at least you listened!

Betty - lol! Its only two, so I'm not counting that as spamming.

Livy - I was a 20C, should have been a 22D. I've lost weight, but my boobs have actually stayed the same. I'm a 16D to 16DD.

phishez_rule said...

Josh - they just gotta be free sometimes!

poody said...

LOl Try those strapless bras or even the cups that fit under and kind of to the sides of the breats for dresses like this one. It is a nice dress by the way. SO, I hear you got yourself a date... let's hear it then!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Phish...I am off to my makeup appointment and hair consultant appointment...Palao, for my photo shoot,

But I'm not going till I comment on this...baby, you're hot. I want to see your boobs and you're past 50 comments. Ha. Gimme that sneeky peeky please. Wait, let me get my camera out.

I'm so going to have to post on the subject of your boobs. That is so a hot dress.

Ciao babes...Thanks for the mention.

kenji226 said...

Those must have been industrial strength paper clips. Some of us have already shown you ours on your other blog, it's about time you returned the favor.

Professor said...

Broke a dress with the girls!?! you rock!

Tyler Durden said...

Where is the rack!????

Manic Martha said...

Lurking as always, like the gutter tramp I am.

Chucky said...

This one time at band camp....

I love your...umm....blog =)

Tyler Durden said...

I have to go to drill today, I am going to miss the last NASCAR race (no I am not a redneck) and possibly your boobs. I am not happy. You better keep the link there for at least 24 hours.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hi phish, I just came by to imagine that top...bursting iopen...sigh. I thought I saw a nipple.

(Tosses bootle of half full burbon)

woah...I think I had one to many.

(Lights up a Dooby)

Cough...cough, but babes I have to see the rack. Hello. Ah yes, imagination is a fabulous thing, huh?

sharnee said...

bring on the boobage!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Phish...Hello babes, I thought that maybe you would post a boob...just one at least, Because i'm sick...cough...cough. It would make me feel better. Cough.

I know you will help a gal out...cough.

ciao babes...hurry before...it's...to...late. Cough.

Mike from Adelaide said...

Always ready to do my civic duty to bring the numbers of posts up to the required level.....

Kelly said...

Sorry I'm late. They fellas are probably disappointed in the late show... thus being one more down from 50.

47... getting closer. yikes.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Phish babes. would you call that grabbing hold of the brass ring?
Um, I'm not well yet, either.

Ciao babes.

Tyler Durden said...

The suspense is killing me here.... When do we get to see them?????

Spiky Zora Jones said...

sweetie...baby doll. I just had to come back and look at that photo of your rack. I just had to lick the center of that brass ring. my imaagination running wild.

I had to wash my tongue...cause of the dust on the screen...EEEEWWWW!

Come on give it up...pics please.

phishez_rule said...

Ok, Ok. I'll post pics. But won't be today (going out) and won't be tomorrow (staying in), maybe on the weekend.

BottleBlonde said...

YAY for your magnificent boobies! Can't wait to see 'em out and about!