Saturday, December 22, 2007

Sinful, much?

So I might be a fat pig, but I can still rock the way I look!

I've been quite well behaved in the lead up to Christmas. With all the choccies floating around work I've been taking a few, but not eating them. They're all sitting in a box in my locker. I'm not buying chocolate for the rest of the year. And for christmas lunch I'm having a turkey roast (breast, lower in fat), with ham, vege soup, salad, fruit salad and trim custard. I've been so well behaved.

We had our work Christmas party/lunch on Thursday. And I was the young hottie. Jeez I work with some crabby old buggers. But the lunch was quite relaxed. I had a few daiquiris with my ribs and salad. Then went straight home from the lunch and jumped on the rowing machine for a bit.

I had to cut that short because I was meeting someone from the findafuck. So I needed to have a shower. Then I got dressed in the same outfit I wore to lunch (yellow dress, low cut at the front AND back, boobs popping out everywhere, cut just above the knee, chain detail on the straps, gold lace heels, gold clutch, pearl jewellery). And on the 12 minute walk to the pub to meet the guy, I got wolf whistled three times. Fuck me, being fat sucks, but the associated curves just fucking rock!

It was fantastic sex. Fuck me. If he hadn't completely screwed up post game play, he would be the best I've ever had. Did you read that? He has the potential to be THE BEST SEX EVAH!

I have a new sex injury. It's not that big, and not as 'what the...?' as the strained armpit, but I love the colour of it. It matches my hair. Observe the coolness of this bruise.

Then a shower and back into the dress to meet the Biotch for a spot of late night shopping. One the three minute walk there I got screamed at 'youse fucking hot' from the window of some passing car. Thanks for the ego boost ya fuckwit! Then before I even got in I lent my phone to some random girl who needed to call her brother urgently, but she didn't have any credit. That's Christmas spirit right there. She was hot too!

Westfield was open til midnight. And it was absolutely insane. There were people everywhere. I never used to be able to handle crowds, but I guess I've gotten used to it. I enjoyed the atmosphere. My legs hurt from shopping. The biotch had no idea what to get his mum, the woman who has everything she wants. I told him to get her a handbag. Something that every woman can never have too much of. So we went handbag shopping and he got her this gorgeous everyday bag. And some perfume. And some gift boxes.

We left there about 11 pm. And the shopping centre was till full. There were people with kids still walking around. And tamtrums galore. Not all from the kids either. 3

I can't wait until Christmas is over.


Anonymous said...

I'm glad you have been having a good ole sexy time there Phish. what the hell is that on your shoulder? is that what they give out nowdays?! that's like the biggest love bite/hickey I've ever seen!!


Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Well, glad you're enjoying yourself.

I have two options this Xmas, but they're both connected to work, so sensible me is thinking to avoid both.

That bruise looks nasty. Seriously.

electro-kevin said...

Well you are hot, Phishez - what else is a guy to do but tell the truth (don't be so hard on car man)

Yes ! Curves dooo rock !

You have a lovely Christmas now.


Josh said...

How the hell did you do that?

Actually, I am not sure I need to know but it looks like you were hit with a hammer!

Westfield + Christmas = Hell on earth.

You are braver than me venturing in there at this time of year.

Cazzie!!! said...

Ouch for the bruise..... hope your Christmas is Bonking..oops, great :)

Kitty said...

Oooooo rough sex!


Merry Christmas spunk. xx

Rups said...

Merry Christmas Phish, wishing you a sordid but angelic festive season!!!

Rups xoxo

Desirea Madison said...

Congratulations on the love bruise. I've never had one of those.

colonel eggroll said...

Merry Christmas Phish!

MissE said...

1. Bruise... holy cow!@? Glad to hear it was a result of close to best sex ever... otherwise DAMN!

2. See? Sexy woman gets wolf whistles and "Pwoar!" compliments! Sexy... not pig!!! Honestly.

3. Christmas = every fuck job in the surrounding lands descends on same shopping centre as you at same time. They are unable to park properly, drive properly, steer a trolley properly, walk straight, walk with anything resembling speed. they insist on bitching at every shop assistant, on bitching to their friends/family who are with them, on bitching down the phone to someone about what they can't get this year or some other shit...

Drives me nuts.

You should see what it does to my Dad... Mum and I left him at home this morning when we had to go to Coles.


Ms Smack said...

Merry Christmas Phish!

That bruise is a killer! Do you bruise easily or was this some extra-ordinary budge?

Anonymous said...

I want a sextacular bruise!!! :-(

I am going to throw my own tantrum!