So today is the first anniversary of my new job. and I took it as a sickie. How Australian!

I didn't want to get out of bed today. I didnt sleep well last night. It may be because of the bad news I received yesterday. But it might also be becasue of the bottle of coke I drank shortly before bed, or the fact that the new housemate left all of the bloody light on when he went to bed.

So when I woke up with a (very slightly) sore back, I jumped at the chance and called in sick. Since most of our work is very physical anyway we have to look after ourselves.

I did nothing all day. Picked up a parcel. Came home, browsed blogs, called SR (please chuck - don't e-kick my e-arse), washed a blanket, tried to play games, browsed my music collection, spoke to a friend on the internet...

Nothing I did today was completed. Just a half arsed day by myself. Even my crying was half arsed. A sob here, few tears there. Not much of anything. I still can't beleive it.

I added a heap of pages to my bloglist to stalk. But I haven't really read any of them. Just an article here and there. Half arsed again.

I have come to the following conclusions about blogs

• Blogs with music bug me. Its not like its good music anyway. Shitty tinny sounding stuff. If might be shaping up to be a good blog, but as soon as the music sounds I'm clicking 'next blog'
• Don't blog about political stuff that you know is contoversial and then complain that you're getting abused.
• I don't like blogs in foreign languages. Simply becuase when you get one, the next fifty you click on will be the same. And thats fifty blogs I just cannot read!
• The most mundane blogs are so damn interesting. Not 'I got up and had a piece of toast...' mundane. But its nice to see how other people live day to day. I think thats what attracted me to blogging in the first place.

I am going to see a movie tonight. But this one I'll pay to see, so I'll watch all of it. I need to get out. Go away and do something. Get out of my own head. Movies are good for me, because they make you feel... stuff. And right now stuff would be good.

Warning: not for the faint hearted

Steph is quite an ispiration

Theres nothing like the death of a friend to make you put all of your troubles behind you

Katrina was always the tall glamourous one. Thin, but not gangly. Quiet, but at the same time so NOT. And by that I mean she wasn't loud, but she sure knew how to party. Most of my memories are as a group, at the dances on college. That was where she really shone.

She seemed to have a theme song - 'when you're looking like that'. And every time I heard that song I always thought of her. And that Shakira song about humble breasts. That was the period of time where we were friends.

On Wednesday she was taken to the emergency room by her boyfriend of over 5 years. She had pains in the back and because she had a heart problem, he was worried. The doctors concluded it was a pulled muscle and sent her home. On Thursday she collapsed. She had septicemia. Two days later she died.

She was 22. And one hell of alot of fun.

Thoughts

I'm full of milestones of late aren't I?

Well it is almost a year to the hour since I moved to Sydney and got to my place of 'residence'. I can still remember that first week. Of course my memories are helped by this site.

And at the moment I can't help but kick myself. I left for all the wrong reasons. There was someone, who I saw everyday, but couldn't be near. So when I got my chance I upped and ran. Interstate, as I tend to do. I am still very close to this person. I'm closer to him now, but my chances of being with him are further away. I've changed too much. And it kills me. I liked who I was. I'm not saying I don't like who I am now, but I feel so far removed from the best I can be right now.

I have had some really good times, and I have met some amazing, special people who I think will be lifelong friends, and just tonight I have met someone new. But on the whole I find Sydney people to be rude, arrogant assholes who want to take everything you've got, and when there's nothing left they'll take a piece of your spirit.

My recent holidays have highlighted something I've known all along. If I am to have any chance of being true to myself, and getting what is best for me, I will require another interstate move. Unfortunately I cannot do this with my current financial situation. But as soon as Clancy is paid off, I will go. Back home. Back to Queensland.

How to get let into bed

I'm full of stories of late aren't I?

This is a quite amusing little anecdote about one of my kitties tricks.

So Sydney has been quite cold of late. Hell its freezing at night here, as far as I'm concerned. Its actually colder IN my house than OUTSIDE. If you're cold, go outside to warm up.

Anyways. What precious kitty does is during the middle of the night, when she decides she's cold, she finds the warmest place in the house. Which is IN MY BED. Unfortuantely I must be awoken to let her under the covers. None of this 'do it for yourself' nonsense. How un-cat-like is that!

Her method of letting me into the bed is as follows;

1) Walk around on the bed purring like mad. No response? Step 2

2) Poke owner in the face with cold wet nose. It moves, but response isn't satisfactory. Go to step 3.

3) Lay on arm. You'd better wake up soon miss, or I'll make you. What do you think of that.

And then, the finale

4) Put cold cold feet on bare forarm. Ooh, you're awake now are you? How about that!

At this stage she is balanced totally on my arm. Nice warm, furry body, with these two long strips of ice cold near the elbow. Seriously. Have you ever felt cold cat feet? Its like frozen leather! And because the cat is fully on my arm it takes about three times longer to get her off, and under the covers. Once she's under, she crawls down near my calves. and curls up there, nice and warm.

And then, who can forget the wrap up, where she shows her true gratitiude. She decides that its rude of her to keep all of the cold to herself, and puts those cold, cold cat leather feet onto my leg. My BARE leg.

This cat is about a subtle as a jellyfish to the head.

Friday night highlights

I got nothing. Here's a college story instead. This one is inspired by steph's most recent post. Thankfully it wasn't me.

We had a fancy dress dinner for halloween in my first year. Of course, being college, there were some guys who jumped at the chance to put on a dress, or be wrapped up in toilet paper. Two of these ended up seated at our table, hitting on my tall, blonde mate sitting opposite them. Halfway through a joke she chokes, and coughs powdered pavlova all over the two of them. I will never forget the way some crumbs curved perfectly through the air, shooting straight towards these two. Nor will I forget the looks on their faces. DirtyDaniel looked outright disgusted, while HotBrad manged to look politely baffled.

HotBrad was worried as the little black dress he was wearing (BTW, which only came halfway up his chest) belonged to our RA and he thought he was going to have to get it professionally cleaned. Feli asked him which brand it was, as a measure of how much the dress was worth, and thus how much should be spent on cleaning. HotBrad replied with "I think the tag says size 10."

Boys!

Reasons I'm an idiot #645

How appropriate a title for my 100th post.
AND
Like anybody needs any more proof.

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I forgot the birthday of one of my nearest and dearest. Jana. How exactly I forgot the birthday of my sister and best friend, but can remember what people were wearing and how they had their hair when I met them, boggles my mind.It wasn't until I had packaged her present that I realised.
Deeply apologetic does not cover how I feel. Words cannot cover it. The best expression that I can think of is that I am the algae that feeds on the pond scum. Please forgive me.

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On a more humourous note; I was in my dancing class wearing my normal jeans and dancing shoes. We're doing vaulting, (basically running sideways) and on the first step my heel of the foot crossing in front, gets tangled in the jeans leg. And goes no further. Nobody else saw this, except my dance instructor. Who was looking directly at me at the time. He snorts out a laugh, shakes his head, and continues dancing. I look over about 30 seconds later, catch his eye and he stops* (whilst the music is still going) tucks his head down and gives a huge belly laugh. Whilst the class looks around wandering what the fuck he found so funny.

*I feel kinda proud that I made him stop. I have literally seen him pat his head, rub his stomach, AND salsa at the same time. That kind of multi tasking is beyond a mother.

The year that was

Well, it has been a year since I started blogging. One whole year. And this will be my 99th post. I'm ok with that. I was always a cent short of the dollar, so 99 posts is kinda appropriate.

homelife
Well in the past year I moved. And moved. And moved. And moved again. Yes folks, thats FOUR moves. Just for one fecking job. I hope that this is my last move, until I go back to Queensland that is.

career
I can only think of the saying 'I used to think I wanted a career, turns out I only wanted a paycheck'. That is all this job is at the moment for me. I have the potential to go far where I am at the moment, but I will never grow emotionally in Sydeny, so I'm already looking to head back to Queensland.

relationships
the best casual sex I've ever had in my life. But on a more serious note... I got nothing.

friends
Made quite a few :). Though mostly through blogging :(. I have quite a few real people friends, but only a few that I see outside of work with any frequency.

odd instances and randomness
quite a few spring to mind, like when I got crabs.

technologically
still trying to figure out how to link and post pictures. Seriously, has someone put out a 'blogspot for dummies' yet? or is it still being edited. I can do all of it, I just don't have the inclination to sit down and read instructions.
But I did get broadband.

biggest purchase
CLANCY. I heart my gay car. Pics still pending.

best aquisition
my cats. Technically I already had a cat this time last year, but she was still all new and kittenish.

fridges owned
4

finances
are something I'd rather not worry about. So I don't. Big numbers are better right? Maybe not on the credit card bills though...

*SIGH*

I have returned from the land of sunshine and happy relaxation. Otherwise known as Queensland.

I have returned from the place of randomness, where I can hug anybody on a whim, and where being flicked with fishwater after a biiig night out seems normal. And by this I mean college.

I get to my street, and the person who is supposed to be looking after my cats is crossing the road. Cue a wave. Keep driving. I get home, walk in the door, and immediately remember why it was I kept SR around.

The house stinks, its like I've been slapped in the face by the smell. The litter tray hasn't been cleaned in about 5 days (thats a very conservative estimate), there is vomit in the hallway, cat hair all over the bathroom, urine in the KITCHEN sink (*ewww... where's my bleach*). Boots hasn't been given any medication, and their food looked old. Seriously, it is dry food and it looked old. Not to mention the fact that they had been fed the wrong food, so for the next three days I will have to endure the stench as one cat's digestive system returns to normal. And the back door was unlocked.

I call her. She claims she hasn't been there for three days (litter tray tells me 5), and that seeing as I am now home she's not coming in. Then hangs up on me. Not a wise move. I let her know, way more agressively than I should have, the conditions that the cats were left in, and that she will never make it working with animals if she will let them get to that point.

So fresh from my holidays I have to clean all of this up, get all of the mail since last Wednesday, head to the post office and pick up my *new* braodband modem, and set that up too.
Being tired, stressed and angry, I re-aquaint myself with my BOBs, head for a shower and get into my jammies. Ready for a night of blogging.

I decide to go to KFC for dinner, and just toss on my new jacket and do drive through. The guy at the window was TEH HOTNESS!!! OMG. And there I was, sitting in this sexy new jacket, with pajama bottoms, and my car in reverse (cuz I'd aimed at the wrong bit of the window and had to back Clancy up), and I swear he noticed it all. Some things will never change.

Part of me prays that he thought I was having a dinner break from being a clown.

Banalism

So I never really understood where Steph got ‘banality’ from. But now I do. BLOODY ANALism

So I am officially on holidays. Yay for me. I am pumped. This time tomorrow I’ll be in Queensland. WOO

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Heres the banalism
I like to write lists, when I have lots to do, and cant really forget anything, especially when I’m going on holidays. I think it stems from the fact my mum used to write lists of what to pack when we went on holidays. So we didn’t forget anything.

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Weird trivia bits
I always forget to put pajamas on my list. But I always remember, and they always end up there, on the bottom of the list, and I cross it out just after I write it on there.
I always put my list on the list too, so that when I’m packing to return, I know I wont forget anything.

Things to do tonight
Write list of things for babysitter to do with kids (and by that I mean cats) when I’m away.
Put porn away (can’t have that sitting around for the babysitter)
Write list of things to pack (see sublist – things to pack)
Get clothes off line (glad I stuck them under the verandah. Sydeny thinks this is a great time to have Melbourne weather)
Clean litter tray and give baby #2 her tablet
Do dishes, general tidy and clean bathroom
Set alarm
Put some of the stuff in the car
Put toilet paper in toilet (well not IN the toilet, just in the toilet cubicle/room)
Pack
Bring bins in
Burn CDS
Do ‘hair removal’ including eyebrows
Get number for internet company that’s supposed to credit $212 back to my bastard card
Go online and check bank balance
Lay out clothes for tomorrow
Clean fridge
Get directions

Sublist – things to pack
Jeans x 4
Tops x 6
Skirt x1
Quality tops x 4
Quality jeans x 2
Underwear
Bras
Socks
Boots
Jumper
Jackets x2
Pajamas
Formal dress (its too big for me now. I’m going to give it to a very good friend of mine, who says she never has anything nice to wear and calls herself a fat c*nt. Its gorgeous. I think she’d love it)
Pillows x 3
Blanket
Blank CDs (I’m going pillaging)
Asthma meds
Vitamins
Carb blockers
Contraceptive pill
Condoms (box of 12! I was considering my vibe, but this would be SO much more fun)
Wallet
Phone
Phone charger
Make up
Contact case w/ solution
Jewellery
Shower gel
Shampoo and conditioner
Moisturiser
Razor
Hairbrush & Hair ties
Toothbrush and toothpaste
Leave in conditioner
Loofah
Glasses
Energy drinks
Eye drops
deoderant
Noodles
Protein bars
Facial Scrub
Facial Moisturiser
Alcamahol
Kite (not just any kite. It’s a STUNT kite)


_______________________________
“Talking to you girl, is like long division” Rhett Miller

How non PC are these?

More non-PC ness

Randomness

I would like to start off by clarifying one thing. The SR, whilst he is an asshole and a total player, has never been anything but wonderful to me, apart from his extremly irriating unreliability. He was the one who thought he was going to be hurt, but still continued with the arrangement. I surprised myself with how I reacted to calling it all off. If I hadn't been impatient and/or scared it all would have worked out fine.

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I noticed a little symbol next to a word verifaction thingy when commenting on a friends blog. Its a little disabled wheelchair symbol. I found this to be slightly confusing. When I roll my mouse over it it says 'listen and type the numbers you hear'. What excatly is this for? Seeing as there are no numbers in the word verification (EVER) I can only conclude that it is for illiterate people. What are illiterate people doing READING let alone COMMENTING on a blog!?!

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I (HEART) Rhett Miller. He is one hell of an awesome artist.

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Is this really me?

----------------JULY--------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy (Spazzy?!?) at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. (Not true. I have a bead curtain across my bedroom. WTF is more nonsensical or unnecessary?) Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 days (WOOHOO a reputation. theres one nonsensical and unnecessary thing I dislike)

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HA

For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him,"I was walking past your room last night heard you telling Mom you were pulling out.

Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage & no bike!"

OH MY GOD... Blogdrawls

I have been without internet for a week.

This is my definition of blogdrwals... not only is it killing me that I have no way to get myself out of my head, but I am not able to contact my blog buddies, not able to find out whats going on in their lives. And I want to read comments on my blog!!!

Not that I've had much to comment on in the last week. Heartache. Nobody will ever love me. I screwed up with SR. I'm going on holidays in a week, staying in the room of my best mate (who is also a bloke), and if I dont get this SR shit sorted out I can kiss that goodbye.

Work sucks. What the fuck is with work politics. I'm working in a different section two days a week but I'm still expected to chip in with all of the same drudge chores that the political bitch never seems to do. And I'm being targeted for it. This week I had a serious migraine and so had two days in that section in which to complete about 3 and 1/2 days work. NOBODY is that good!

I went out last night. Couldn't deal with the crowd, got frustrated and the normal nightspot just felt dirty and crowded. I was home by 12.30, crying on the couch and drinking.

So blogosphere, I am back. Though with this general mood I may have to stick to publishing forwards and the current spam!