I would like to start off by clarifying one thing. The SR, whilst he is an asshole and a total player, has never been anything but wonderful to me, apart from his extremly irriating unreliability. He was the one who thought he was going to be hurt, but still continued with the arrangement. I surprised myself with how I reacted to calling it all off. If I hadn't been impatient and/or scared it all would have worked out fine.
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I noticed a little symbol next to a word verifaction thingy when commenting on a friends blog. Its a little disabled wheelchair symbol. I found this to be slightly confusing. When I roll my mouse over it it says 'listen and type the numbers you hear'. What excatly is this for? Seeing as there are no numbers in the word verification (EVER) I can only conclude that it is for illiterate people. What are illiterate people doing READING let alone COMMENTING on a blog!?!
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I (HEART) Rhett Miller. He is one hell of an awesome artist.
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Is this really me?
----------------JULY--------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy (Spazzy?!?) at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. (Not true. I have a bead curtain across my bedroom. WTF is more nonsensical or unnecessary?) Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 days (WOOHOO a reputation. theres one nonsensical and unnecessary thing I dislike)
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3 comments:
Sweets, how could a "player" ever be worrying about getting hurt? Sounds like another story to me.
Of course he's been nice to you. You give him what he's after when he's not getting it anywhere else. He doesn't want to ruin a good thing.
I think that the disabled sign is for people that have a hard time figuring out what letters are there. They mis-labeled it to say numbers instead of letters.
BTW, this reminds me of my biggest pet peeve. The signs for the library here in the states is a PICTURE of someone reading. If you can't read the word "library" WTF are you going there for?!!??
Take care, babe.
Chuck, your so sweet.
Steph often says I have insight into others problems. Well I can also apply this insight to myself. (trust me, its fun once in a while, but daily... drives me fucking nuts!)
Yes, this guy is a player. But from what I know of him he seems that kind of guy who would travel-to-the-moon-and-back-just-to-bring-you-some-stardust IF he thought you were special. The 'if' here is not a hypothetical. I know that I am a special person, and that Id be worth it. And he recognises that too. That I AM sure of. There is a definite 'click' with us. I felt it the first time I laid eyes on him. This is the bit that I’m hung up on… I want someone to treat me like I’m the last person they want to see at night, and the first person they want to see in the morning. Yes I get the fact that casual sex is not any method of meeting someone who will treat you like that. But being in that position leads me to a better chance of having someone treat me like that, even if its just for a week. I'm not in love with him. I dont think I love him. But if Im not careful, I would end up hurt. But I want someone to treat me like I’m someone very special nonetheless, because that would be nice just once.
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The real kicker is that this guy, who is now, and ever shall be, just a casual acquaintance, has changed my ENTIRE perspective on relationships. The timing of our hook-up (which I initiated, before the fact), just after my Grandfather died, left me emotionally vulnerable.
I used to be an extremely independent, emotional retard (read: non-touchy feely kind of person, with NO gratuitous kissing). Not to say I don’t feel anything, its just that I really have massive issues expressing it. I love hugs, but in public it will NEVER go beyond that. I never got the whole 'touching-you-just-because-I-can' thing. I still dont really get it. To take a quote from my fave tv show “I don’t want people touching me unless were going to have sex, and even then I don’t want them overdoing it”.
But now I crave intimacy. I just want someone to give me a big hug and tell me everythings going to be ok, even though I don’t really know why I feel the need to have that. I want someone to be able to spend all of my time curled up on the couch with. And its not the fact that the shallow sex isn’t doing anything for me. The sex is amazing. Its the down time between hook-ups, where I go from remembering how good he was, to thinking about him in general. That’s where im going to get fucked up.
But its not like it matters. I gave him another chance and he blew me off...
right before I go on holidays...
back to college...
staying in my best buds room...
who happens to be a guy I used to be in love with...
and am still extremely close to.
If I cant get shagged there I will never get it again.
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