Reflections and crap.

New Year is quietly optimistic, like the faint stirrings of a sea kissed breeze on a hot, dry day. Or the magic of buds appearing on trees bemounded with snow.
The song says 'nothing changes on New Years Day' and I beleive that. Nothing changes without from us. All the changes are within. And that is why it is such a special day. It inspires rebellion in the opressed, and calm in the angry.

And it inspired the following two conversations...

But first, some backstory. Mancandy was working in my department again today. And as usual it was a quick outline of what was going on today and then personal chat started. He had recently had a birthday (seemingly random fact now but very important for later). The usual way that we work together is that I handle the animals (because its easier, faster and less stressful for all involved). But today we got to discussing him doing it by himself. He told me he enjoys my company, but eventually he would have to do it himself. I made a point of thanking him, and let our discussion slide along (Note to Self: If the perfect chance to ask the guy of my dreams out comes along and slaps me in the face, DON'T JUST THANK HIM FOR IT) I let him do the animal handling bit, and helped out (read: stood there and perved). Then just as he was about to go he saw some records in the room and commented 'hey, these animals were mated on my birthday', to which I replied 'yeah, someone had to get some'. And we laughed and that was it.

But I had to wonder how I came off. I probably came off as a eensy bit of a bitch.

Conversation #1

Phishez: Agnes, I need a pep talk
Agnes: Whats wrong?
P: I got told, by a really hot guy, that I really like, that he really enjoys my company.
A: Thats great. So..., Why do you need a pep talk?
P: I let it go! He said that and I let it go! I want to ring him and ask him out
A: So do it.
P: But I don't wanna.
A: So text him
P: I dont have his number
A: you're gonna have to call him
P: I know, but I dont wanna
A: Doitdoitdoit
P: What if he says no!
A: Why would he say no if he told you he likes you?
P: I dunno.
A: Does it matter if he says no?
P: No
A: So why dont you want to ask him?
P: I've never done this before.
A: So you've gotta learn
P: But I dont wannaaahh.
A: Doitdoitdoit

Conversation #2
Phone rings
Phishez: Please dont answer the phone. Pleasepleaseplease
Mancandy: Hello, mancandy speaking
P: How are you
M: fine fine, you?
P: Good. I was just wondering if you still had my mobile number?
M: yeah, I'm pretty sure I still have it
P: Good. If you wanted to call me and catch up sometime, that might be nice (FFS! Who in the hisotry of EVER says 'that might be nice' when asking someone out? Bridget Jones, thats who. And me. And nobody else!)
M: yeah! Ok, brilliant! (brilliant is something he always says)
P: Thanks. Ok, well I have to go back to work now, so we'll talk later ok?
M: Yeah, yeah sure.

And thats my story of today.