Saturday, June 04, 2005

Panda Eyes, Arse Crack, and Sex Dreams (01.06.05)

So you may have picked up that this whole trip hasbeen a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. One day = 'YAY! I have a job and I'm excited' and the next = 'What am I doing here? I should not have left behind everything and everybody I know.' Well today was that multiplied by about 5. Now I'm emotionally drained, want to curl up in a ball, cry and sleep. I had a pretty good day at work. even managed to find 3 minutes (literally) to jump on the net and send a quick email to friends telling them I'm alive, and I miss them (well, I do). I caught the train to Parra... and then got lost again. I couldn't find the right place to catch the right bus. There are three main bus interchanges within 150m, but around corners and not in sight of each other. So while I'm trying to figure out what to do Sue calls. I told her I was lost and she burst out laughing, at which point I almost burst into tears. Getting lost was funny to begin with, and I'm sure I'll laugh in the future, but right not it's just giving me the shits. Doesn't help that the transport system here is a goddamned joke. Trains run early or late, NEVER on time, they miss stops, they make stops, I've even heard that they can be rerouted when there are passengers on board. Fucking terrible.
I do have to grin at my uniform though. The pants are snug and ridea bit low, and the top is really long and loose. Its a good combination because every time I bendover it would leave the world on the wrong side of my pant cleavage. Its worse than plumbers crack. They go that low that everytime I standup I have to keep one hand on my pants for fear thatI'd lose them. Good thing the tops long cuz if itdid happen it would cover all ofmy sins.
I had the weirdest dream last night. It was a sex dream about a friend a uni, but I've never dreamt of him before and I definitely haven't been thinkingof him since I got here. Anyway it started as a sex dream but we ended updating. All of my friends had seen it coming, except for one, and he wouldn't beleive me until he saw us together. Then he'd stop me from going to my 'boyfriend' and distract me with stuff like 'look at this, lets go over here'. The weird thing is that in my last sex dream (about an ex) he did pretty much the same thing. I don't want to be with either of these guys. One of them (my ex) I've spent too much time with, and the uni guy, whilst we're good friends, I could know him alot better. I think I need to talk to someone who understands male issues and me. Kez I look forward to your comments.
Lots of hugs and love
SJH

1 comment:

Kezza said...

YAY SYDNEY AT LAST!!!!!!! Okay so fess up: a) how totally pumped are you to be there? b)How much are you totally shitting yourself right now despite the fact you know this is the right thing? c) what's the man candy situation like? (sorry had to ask)

Okay... sex dreams (like I know what I'm on about) I'm getting a vibe something like, this guy reminds you of Gatton, You like the familiarity. The other friend who is trying to stop things might be some encouragement not to go back. Kind of a sign to wait things out

Anyway - for now things sound like they are all over the place so, take a deep breath, have a nice shot of something very cosmopilitan - or better yet, have a cosmo, you'll be ripped as fuck in no time and then sit back and smile to yourself.

I'm so fucking jealous of you right now! xoxox