Ok. The other strange dream I was referring to in yesterdays post was a sex dream, of sorts.
It was with one of the guys from uni. I love him to bits, but have never had sex with him. And he was as hot as all get out. I love to cuddle this guy. He's like a squishy rock.
Anyhoo. We hooked up. At his dorm. But we couldn't do anything because there weren't any even surfaces in his room (like that matters anyways!). So we decided to head over to my room. And we took a boat, despite the fact that it was a 3 minute walk and no water around.
So we were sailing over to my dorm. But the water was an oily black. And my mate was swimming in the water. And all of a sudden he was being chased by an albino, prehistoric, predatory fish.
Because he had stolen its soap!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
My Brain is a Strange Place.
I have strange dreams.
Very strange dreams.
Creepy even.
I have two more to add to that collection. Not including the dream where I was living with a family of giants in an inflatable pool, and I ran away to join the YMCA with a job of vodka and squash.
I had a dream the other night. A dream so creepy and scary it belongs in a freaking horror movie.
My sister and I were staying in a hotel. I really classy hotel. On the 26th floor. I dunno why we were there. But we were, and we were living it up. And my sister met a guy while we were in the elevator. I met him too, but he and my sister clicked. He was tall, very broad across the shoulders. Muscly but with a layer of squish over the top. He seemed mildly retarded, but very nice.
I didn't like him. This might have something to do with the fact that he was kissing my sister as someone got out of the elevator. And he didn't notice that his head was caught in the door. All I could do was watch in horror as the elevator descended, with him still stuck. First his glasses shattered, and then the skin on the back of his meaty head was simply scraped away. And he didn't notice anything. The guy could feel no pain.
He seemed clingy and a bit slow. But we always seemed to run into him. We ended up going to the basement/car park and walking past his car, a shitty old white corolla. Which had a bloodied mallet hanging out the window. My sister was too absorbed in talking to him for her to see, but I realised he was the serial killer that had been striking girls in the area.
He'd kidnap a single girl for a few days. Then he'd give her a phone to call her parents to come pick her up. And while she was calling her parents to come pick her up, he'd bludgeon her to death, with them listening to her screams and pleas for mercy.
Pleasant, yes?
Well, when I figured it out, this guy knew. And I knew that he knew. He refused to let me out of his sight. I tried to warn my sister, but he wouldn't leave me. I put her in an elevator and told her to go up to her room and just wait there for me. I wandered over to the front desk and asked them for a key to an empty room. I needed to lock myself away while I called the police. But I didn't want him to know where I was. So I'm walking the corridors trying to get out of his sight long enough so I could hide somewhere, where he wouldn't find me, to make the call.
I couldn't. So I left the hotel and walked down the street. I managed to lose him as it got dark, and I ran out into suburbia. I knew he was still following me. By some strange sixth sense he knew where I was. I found a quiet little place, number 94. It had a few cats in the yard. Very large ones too, I might add. I hesitated with my hand on the gate. Go in, or keep running?
I heard him shouting a long way off, so I undid the latch and quietly slipped through the gate. I knocked on the door and the grey haired woman let me in. I told her I needed to hide somewhere, and she installed me in her kitchen and gave me her landline. I asked her to lock the doors and she left.
I rang the emergency number, and ducked down behind a bench while I talked to the operator. I told her I knew who the serial killer was, and that he was after me. I told her I was at number 94, but I didn't know the street or the suburb.
Then I heard the sound of wood scraping wood. I looked up at the window and saw a hand protruding through the gap. I shrank down a bit more below the bench and whispered 'he's at the window,' down the phone.
And then I woke up.
I may never sleep again.
Very strange dreams.
Creepy even.
I have two more to add to that collection. Not including the dream where I was living with a family of giants in an inflatable pool, and I ran away to join the YMCA with a job of vodka and squash.
I had a dream the other night. A dream so creepy and scary it belongs in a freaking horror movie.
My sister and I were staying in a hotel. I really classy hotel. On the 26th floor. I dunno why we were there. But we were, and we were living it up. And my sister met a guy while we were in the elevator. I met him too, but he and my sister clicked. He was tall, very broad across the shoulders. Muscly but with a layer of squish over the top. He seemed mildly retarded, but very nice.
I didn't like him. This might have something to do with the fact that he was kissing my sister as someone got out of the elevator. And he didn't notice that his head was caught in the door. All I could do was watch in horror as the elevator descended, with him still stuck. First his glasses shattered, and then the skin on the back of his meaty head was simply scraped away. And he didn't notice anything. The guy could feel no pain.
He seemed clingy and a bit slow. But we always seemed to run into him. We ended up going to the basement/car park and walking past his car, a shitty old white corolla. Which had a bloodied mallet hanging out the window. My sister was too absorbed in talking to him for her to see, but I realised he was the serial killer that had been striking girls in the area.
He'd kidnap a single girl for a few days. Then he'd give her a phone to call her parents to come pick her up. And while she was calling her parents to come pick her up, he'd bludgeon her to death, with them listening to her screams and pleas for mercy.
Pleasant, yes?
Well, when I figured it out, this guy knew. And I knew that he knew. He refused to let me out of his sight. I tried to warn my sister, but he wouldn't leave me. I put her in an elevator and told her to go up to her room and just wait there for me. I wandered over to the front desk and asked them for a key to an empty room. I needed to lock myself away while I called the police. But I didn't want him to know where I was. So I'm walking the corridors trying to get out of his sight long enough so I could hide somewhere, where he wouldn't find me, to make the call.
I couldn't. So I left the hotel and walked down the street. I managed to lose him as it got dark, and I ran out into suburbia. I knew he was still following me. By some strange sixth sense he knew where I was. I found a quiet little place, number 94. It had a few cats in the yard. Very large ones too, I might add. I hesitated with my hand on the gate. Go in, or keep running?
I heard him shouting a long way off, so I undid the latch and quietly slipped through the gate. I knocked on the door and the grey haired woman let me in. I told her I needed to hide somewhere, and she installed me in her kitchen and gave me her landline. I asked her to lock the doors and she left.
I rang the emergency number, and ducked down behind a bench while I talked to the operator. I told her I knew who the serial killer was, and that he was after me. I told her I was at number 94, but I didn't know the street or the suburb.
Then I heard the sound of wood scraping wood. I looked up at the window and saw a hand protruding through the gap. I shrank down a bit more below the bench and whispered 'he's at the window,' down the phone.
And then I woke up.
I may never sleep again.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Cats and Dogs
My cats are very strange. Very strange indeed. When I am home, I have one within arms reach at pretty much all times. The clear exception is when I'm on the toilet and they're yelling outside the door, or when I'm in the shower under the wet stuff.
Don't get me wrong. I love my cats, but its gotten to the point where they are just under my feet sometimes. For example...
Boots has taken to residing under my desk chair. If I'm there, you can guarantee that she's there. If she's not there, she's on the couch nearby sleeping or watching me, or playing fetch. In this picture, she was lying down until I moved to take the pic of her.
I threw her toy into the chair where Rai was. They had a little play fight. But Rai was in the defensible position so she won. Though she had no idea what the 'fight' was over. Boots sat there until Rai chose to leave.
Then there's Rai. Who comes when I click. Boots has begun to do the same. Boots knows how to sit on command and she even begs, when she feels like it. They follow me from room to room. If I go into the bathroom one of them will be in there within minutes.
My cats are slowly morphing in dogs. Graceful, elegant non-smelly dogs. Next thing you know, they'll be drooling when its food time.
Rai already drools sometimes, but she was raised by dogs, so what do you expect?
**************
I have 5 days off. I'm not working until the 2nd. Huzzah!
I went shopping today. Bought myself some interview clothes, very hot and all a size smaller than my current interview clothes. The top is a business shirt, but the pants I can dress down to smart casual, so not a complete waste of money.
I also got some new underwear, DVD's, contact lenses and tops. I like the tops. Observe.
********
I also don't have any plans for new year. How sad. Everybody else has plans and I've been left out, yet again, by the biotch. Unless I get something coming up last minute, I'll be saddling up the girls, and heading out to Darling Harbour for a few hours. I suspect I'll consume lots of coffee and possibly several drinks in various bars around the place.
But it would be nice to have some company. So if anybody else is stag for the night, drop me an email!
Don't get me wrong. I love my cats, but its gotten to the point where they are just under my feet sometimes. For example...
Boots has taken to residing under my desk chair. If I'm there, you can guarantee that she's there. If she's not there, she's on the couch nearby sleeping or watching me, or playing fetch. In this picture, she was lying down until I moved to take the pic of her.
I threw her toy into the chair where Rai was. They had a little play fight. But Rai was in the defensible position so she won. Though she had no idea what the 'fight' was over. Boots sat there until Rai chose to leave.Then there's Rai. Who comes when I click. Boots has begun to do the same. Boots knows how to sit on command and she even begs, when she feels like it. They follow me from room to room. If I go into the bathroom one of them will be in there within minutes.
My cats are slowly morphing in dogs. Graceful, elegant non-smelly dogs. Next thing you know, they'll be drooling when its food time.
Rai already drools sometimes, but she was raised by dogs, so what do you expect?
**************
I have 5 days off. I'm not working until the 2nd. Huzzah!
I went shopping today. Bought myself some interview clothes, very hot and all a size smaller than my current interview clothes. The top is a business shirt, but the pants I can dress down to smart casual, so not a complete waste of money.
I also got some new underwear, DVD's, contact lenses and tops. I like the tops. Observe.
********
I also don't have any plans for new year. How sad. Everybody else has plans and I've been left out, yet again, by the biotch. Unless I get something coming up last minute, I'll be saddling up the girls, and heading out to Darling Harbour for a few hours. I suspect I'll consume lots of coffee and possibly several drinks in various bars around the place.
But it would be nice to have some company. So if anybody else is stag for the night, drop me an email!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Fuck you Santa, you fat old cunt!
Fuck you in a big way.
I might not have been the best behaved person all year. But I'm not a bad person. I have even been described on several occasions as having a heart of gold! And what do I get in return for all of this...
I have wrinkles! Fucking WRINKLES. They're just little baby wrinkles, but they're there. Hiding under my eye. I was gazing into the mirror thinking how fresh my skin looked, and BAM! Fucker jumped out at me. Now its all I can see. The tiny twin wrinkles, one for each eye. And no amount of infill or skin creams will get rid of them. Sure, I can hide them, make them look like they're not there, but in the back of my mind there they are.
Fuck you Santa. I liked it better when you didn't visit.
************
Oh, and new penis!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
My 12 days of Christmas
I stole this from Prof.
NAME 12 CHRISTMAS CAROLS
1. Silent NightNAME 12 CHRISTMAS CAROLS
2. Joy to the world
3. Deck the Halls
4. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
5. Come all ye faithful
6. We three kings
7. Six White Boomers
8. Yeah, not big in Christmas carols.
9.
10.
11.
12.
NAME 11 DECORATIONS YOU PUT ON THE TREE
1. Tinsel
2. Baubles
3. Santa ornament with a dangly bit between his legs.
4. Fairy Lights
5. A star at the top
6. Gold stars
7. Candy canes
8. Small presents
9. Nativity Scene (at the base)
10. Beads on a string.
11. The cats. They climb the fucking thing
NAME 10 PRESENTS YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
1. Vibrator2. Adultshop vouchers
3. Silver jewellery
4. EzyDVD vouchers
5. Money
6. Alcohol
7. New phone with 5 mp camera (dreaming!)
8. A treadmill
9. Jigsaw puzzles
10. Vouchers
NAME 9 FOODS YOU LOVE EATING ON CHRISTMAS DAY
1. Turkey. I heart turkey!2. Ham
3. Vege soup
4. Garden Salad
5. Fruit Salad
6. Low fat custard
7. Penis (a girl can dream)
8. Diet Portello
9. Tabbouleh
NAME 8 PEOPLE FOR WHOM YOU WILL BUY GIFTS
1.Mum2. Jana
3. Brad (brother)
4. Dad
5. The Biotch
6. The roomie
7. The galpal
8. The cats.
NAME 7 REASONS YOU LOVE CHRISTMAS
1. I get all my shopping done early. So I love going to Westfield and watching all the idiots racing around for the ultimate gift.2. You are expected to put on weight. So its fantastic when I don't do that.
3. Turkey.
4. Pre Christmas Sales
5. Post Christmas Sales
6. The atmosphere. Work this week has been really fun.
7.The overtime!
NAME 6 THINGS YOU DO ON CHRISTMAS MORNING
1. go to work (2 hours only)2. cuddle cats and feed them wet food
3. have huge coffee
4. call parentals
5. open presents while on the phone
6. watch cats play with wrapping paper/boxes
FINISH IT:
5. Golden: sunrise4. Calling: family
3. French: kissing
2. Turtle: eggs
1. And a: nap in the afternoon
NAME 4 GIFTS YOU HATE GETTING
1. chocolate.
2. clothes.
3. cheap calendars
4. socks
NAME 3 PLACES YOU HAVE TO SHOP FOR CHRISTMAS
1. Avon.
2. Paddy's Markets
3. Westfield
NAME 2 CHRISTMAS WISHES
1. Lots of sex for everybody
2. Peace on Earth. Hey, it's the season to be corny.
NAME 1 PERSON YOU HOPE TO KISS UNDER THE MISTLETOE
1. Green Eyes. Duh!*************
After busting my ass to get through work today, we got to leave an hour early. So I nipped over to the post office to pick up the new Matthew Reilly Book. Its currently sitting on my desk, looking all white and crisp, and smelling oh-so lovely. Yeah, I'm such a nerd.
On the way home from the post office I dropped into Westfield for a coffee and a nibble. Since I've gotten my Christmas Shopping done ages ago, I love to watch the crowd. I ordered my coffee and cake, and went and sat down while it was being made. The crowd thinned and my drink was placed up at the bar, so I trundled up to get it. I looked at the girl, and she looked at me. I looked at the drink. And I looked at her. And I asked 'is this skinny?'. It wasn't. Some fucker stole my bloody coffee on Christmas eve! Seriously, does the Christmas spirit not extend to sweet sweet caffeinated beverages?
Tonight I go see Enchanted. I'm soooo looking forward to this. Mmmm. McDreamy for a whole 1 hour and 47 minutes.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Sinful, much?
So I might be a fat pig, but I can still rock the way I look!
I've been quite well behaved in the lead up to Christmas. With all the choccies floating around work I've been taking a few, but not eating them. They're all sitting in a box in my locker. I'm not buying chocolate for the rest of the year. And for christmas lunch I'm having a turkey roast (breast, lower in fat), with ham, vege soup, salad, fruit salad and trim custard. I've been so well behaved.
We had our work Christmas party/lunch on Thursday. And I was the young hottie. Jeez I work with some crabby old buggers. But the lunch was quite relaxed. I had a few daiquiris with my ribs and salad. Then went straight home from the lunch and jumped on the rowing machine for a bit.
I had to cut that short because I was meeting someone from the findafuck. So I needed to have a shower. Then I got dressed in the same outfit I wore to lunch (yellow dress, low cut at the front AND back, boobs popping out everywhere, cut just above the knee, chain detail on the straps, gold lace heels, gold clutch, pearl jewellery). And on the 12 minute walk to the pub to meet the guy, I got wolf whistled three times. Fuck me, being fat sucks, but the associated curves just fucking rock!
It was fantastic sex. Fuck me. If he hadn't completely screwed up post game play, he would be the best I've ever had. Did you read that? He has the potential to be THE BEST SEX EVAH!
I have a new sex injury. It's not that big, and not as 'what the...?' as the strained armpit, but I love the colour of it. It matches my hair. Observe the coolness of this bruise.
Then a shower and back into the dress to meet the Biotch for a spot of late night shopping. One the three minute walk there I got screamed at 'youse fucking hot' from the window of some passing car. Thanks for the ego boost ya fuckwit! Then before I even got in I lent my phone to some random girl who needed to call her brother urgently, but she didn't have any credit. That's Christmas spirit right there. She was hot too!
Westfield was open til midnight. And it was absolutely insane. There were people everywhere. I never used to be able to handle crowds, but I guess I've gotten used to it. I enjoyed the atmosphere. My legs hurt from shopping. The biotch had no idea what to get his mum, the woman who has everything she wants. I told him to get her a handbag. Something that every woman can never have too much of. So we went handbag shopping and he got her this gorgeous everyday bag. And some perfume. And some gift boxes.
We left there about 11 pm. And the shopping centre was till full. There were people with kids still walking around. And tamtrums galore. Not all from the kids either. 3
I can't wait until Christmas is over.
I've been quite well behaved in the lead up to Christmas. With all the choccies floating around work I've been taking a few, but not eating them. They're all sitting in a box in my locker. I'm not buying chocolate for the rest of the year. And for christmas lunch I'm having a turkey roast (breast, lower in fat), with ham, vege soup, salad, fruit salad and trim custard. I've been so well behaved.
We had our work Christmas party/lunch on Thursday. And I was the young hottie. Jeez I work with some crabby old buggers. But the lunch was quite relaxed. I had a few daiquiris with my ribs and salad. Then went straight home from the lunch and jumped on the rowing machine for a bit.
I had to cut that short because I was meeting someone from the findafuck. So I needed to have a shower. Then I got dressed in the same outfit I wore to lunch (yellow dress, low cut at the front AND back, boobs popping out everywhere, cut just above the knee, chain detail on the straps, gold lace heels, gold clutch, pearl jewellery). And on the 12 minute walk to the pub to meet the guy, I got wolf whistled three times. Fuck me, being fat sucks, but the associated curves just fucking rock!
It was fantastic sex. Fuck me. If he hadn't completely screwed up post game play, he would be the best I've ever had. Did you read that? He has the potential to be THE BEST SEX EVAH!
I have a new sex injury. It's not that big, and not as 'what the...?' as the strained armpit, but I love the colour of it. It matches my hair. Observe the coolness of this bruise.
Then a shower and back into the dress to meet the Biotch for a spot of late night shopping. One the three minute walk there I got screamed at 'youse fucking hot' from the window of some passing car. Thanks for the ego boost ya fuckwit! Then before I even got in I lent my phone to some random girl who needed to call her brother urgently, but she didn't have any credit. That's Christmas spirit right there. She was hot too!Westfield was open til midnight. And it was absolutely insane. There were people everywhere. I never used to be able to handle crowds, but I guess I've gotten used to it. I enjoyed the atmosphere. My legs hurt from shopping. The biotch had no idea what to get his mum, the woman who has everything she wants. I told him to get her a handbag. Something that every woman can never have too much of. So we went handbag shopping and he got her this gorgeous everyday bag. And some perfume. And some gift boxes.
We left there about 11 pm. And the shopping centre was till full. There were people with kids still walking around. And tamtrums galore. Not all from the kids either. 3
I can't wait until Christmas is over.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
'Tis the season to be a lard ass.
Did I say back in the fat days yesterday? Cuz the fat days soooo aren't over. I baked. Because I'm a tight arse. Fuck I hate the people I work with. Useless fuckers. Anyhoo. I baked for them. Faaarrkkk did I bake for them.
Instead I choose to post a pic more suited to Weight Watchers!
Here is my disgusting flabby belly.
I am such a pig. No wonder nobody wants me.
- Cookies and Cream Cheesecake
- Franjelico Balls
- Caramel and Macadamia Slice
- Lemon Coconut Slice
- Anzac Buiscuts
Instead I choose to post a pic more suited to Weight Watchers!
Here is my disgusting flabby belly.
I am such a pig. No wonder nobody wants me.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
I know I promised a work rant, but lets face it... who wants to read that bullshit?
Its probably best I don't mention anything anyway. I've had enough of the bullying and discrimination. I've gone above his head to our boss, and requested that HR get involved. A formal complaint will be lodged.
And I'll be out of the hellhole by the end of January. I've applied to work at call centres that have constant intakes. I'd rather waste my degree than stay with those fuckwits.
Its probably best I don't mention anything anyway. I've had enough of the bullying and discrimination. I've gone above his head to our boss, and requested that HR get involved. A formal complaint will be lodged.
And I'll be out of the hellhole by the end of January. I've applied to work at call centres that have constant intakes. I'd rather waste my degree than stay with those fuckwits.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Is this the GREATEST concert EVAH?!?
If I had to relose my concert virginity all over again I'd so pick this one.
Matchbox Twenty AND Thirsty Merc!
I invited a serial concert goer to see it, she baulked at the price. Then I told her Thirsty Merc were supporting, and her eyes just glazed over and she smiled. A small 'ooooh' may have escaped her lips.
So I couldn't find anyone to go with. I was determined to go. By myself, if necessary. But concerts are so much funner when you're there with someone. So I'm going with my sister. I'm going to fly down to Melbourne for the event in April. Depending on how much time I get off, I may travel out to the country to see my family and friends.
So. If anybody wants to meet up when I'm down in April, zip me an email and I might just make your wish come true!
Then taking more time off work to go see Michael Buble in May, in Canberra.
****
And, as an aside. I WANT KFC!!! But I've gone down to 86kg. I was aiming to be 80 by New Year, which I doubt I can make. But KFC so isn't going to help the situation, so I'll eat carrots instead.
Matchbox Twenty AND Thirsty Merc!
I invited a serial concert goer to see it, she baulked at the price. Then I told her Thirsty Merc were supporting, and her eyes just glazed over and she smiled. A small 'ooooh' may have escaped her lips.
So I couldn't find anyone to go with. I was determined to go. By myself, if necessary. But concerts are so much funner when you're there with someone. So I'm going with my sister. I'm going to fly down to Melbourne for the event in April. Depending on how much time I get off, I may travel out to the country to see my family and friends.
So. If anybody wants to meet up when I'm down in April, zip me an email and I might just make your wish come true!
Then taking more time off work to go see Michael Buble in May, in Canberra.
****
And, as an aside. I WANT KFC!!! But I've gone down to 86kg. I was aiming to be 80 by New Year, which I doubt I can make. But KFC so isn't going to help the situation, so I'll eat carrots instead.
Monday, December 10, 2007
I like giving head
There. I said it. I like giving head. I don't give head on my knees. No fucking way. I like to make myself comfortable. I'll lie between the guys thighs. I think of it as a cuddle with legs instead of arms. And it works kinda well to. There's no need for awkward conversation because, frankly, there's no eye contact to initiate conversation. And if you're sucking a dick, you can't talk.
Also I love the view. If you haven't already noticed. I really like penis. So sitting eye to eye with one is just bliss for me. No matter how big or small it is. I love to watch. I love to observe the way it bends, the veins and ridges. Whether the head is a big mushroom cap, or a small button. I love how its not cylindrical. How it has that ridge that runs up the underside of the shaft. I love to run my tongue over that.
I love the way the shaft is so hard, but the skin slides over the top of it. I love the way the head feels on my lips. So smooth and soft, and just a little bit spongy. I love the transition from hard shaft to soft knob. I love the way it feels as my tongue swirls around it. And the way it feels at the back of my throat. I hate gagging, but its worth it.
I love watching him twitch when I nuzzle into his nuts, sucking them gently. I especially love the way he groans when I stroke him as I do this. I've had guys wear their knees at their ears out of ecstasy. I am that good.
I love after he cums, when he's all shaky. And I just gently kiss his nuts, and thighs. I'll gently suck his cock as it begins to shrink. I love to watch it shrivel up into itself as he drifts off to another plane.
Yep. I gotta say. I like giving head. And I'm proud of it. Cuz I do it so fucking well!
Also I love the view. If you haven't already noticed. I really like penis. So sitting eye to eye with one is just bliss for me. No matter how big or small it is. I love to watch. I love to observe the way it bends, the veins and ridges. Whether the head is a big mushroom cap, or a small button. I love how its not cylindrical. How it has that ridge that runs up the underside of the shaft. I love to run my tongue over that.
I love the way the shaft is so hard, but the skin slides over the top of it. I love the way the head feels on my lips. So smooth and soft, and just a little bit spongy. I love the transition from hard shaft to soft knob. I love the way it feels as my tongue swirls around it. And the way it feels at the back of my throat. I hate gagging, but its worth it.
I love watching him twitch when I nuzzle into his nuts, sucking them gently. I especially love the way he groans when I stroke him as I do this. I've had guys wear their knees at their ears out of ecstasy. I am that good.
I love after he cums, when he's all shaky. And I just gently kiss his nuts, and thighs. I'll gently suck his cock as it begins to shrink. I love to watch it shrivel up into itself as he drifts off to another plane.
Yep. I gotta say. I like giving head. And I'm proud of it. Cuz I do it so fucking well!
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thursday
Ok. This is a biiig post. Go get a cuppa, cuz you'll need it. And maybe some tissues.
I had a long day yesterday. I applied for a job last Thursady. Its a cushy government job, with excellent pay and conditions. But it more than that. It actually offers an opportunity to go somewhere and do something interesting in the long run. So for those of you who know what my current job is like... this is very exciting for me!
The Train Ride
Anyhoo. I got an interview yesterday. So I got the day off and trundled into the city, dressed in my best 'business attire'. Which fitted nicely a few months of dieting back. It still looked ok, but I think its time to get a new white shirt that fits a bit better. The pants are shit hot, and they still look good a little loose. Teamed with casual (but hell pretty) flat black shoes, and a denim jacket - just to get me through the rain without my shirt going all see through.
So I'm early to leave. I don't want to be late, so instead I get half an hour to wander around the shopping centre. I opt for breakfast - toasted museli, fruit, natural yoghurt and honey, with a cappuccino. It kills enough time and I head to the train.
On the train it starts pissing down. I'm would up and watching the water in every creek we go over. Its crazy rough. Water usually calms me down but for some reason yesterday it didn't. I'm mentally chewing over the research I'd done the night before; did I put everything in my resume; I still need to get it copied and collated with my academic transcript; where will I do that; I don't remember all the questions that I practiced; how will I work around questions that I can't answer; what will it be like? etc. etc.
About 10 minutes out from my destination and we're pulling into a train station. There are people getting up and moving about. I'm staring out the window when I feel a touch on my shoulder. I glance around and see nobody near me has moved. The person sitting on the outside of me is still. If she touched me, she'd still be moving by the time I look around. There's a guy in the aisle, putting a jacket on. But if he touched me, my neighbour would have looked around or moved. Plus he was looking the other way and putting his jacket on. No way he could have moved away that fast.
Then I smelt it. Nan's perfume.
Nan died eight years ago. My eyes welled up. I looked away and stared out the window. The smell faded. I looked back, thinking maybe it had been an offshoot of my own perfume. I smelt it again. Definitely her perfume. I looked away again, scared I was about to start bawling. The smell faded and I thought I was hallucinating. A third time I looked around, and I caught a whiff of it again. She'd been there with me.
The Interview
The interview went really well. I excel in social and stressful situations. There were 18 applicants in this round. I'm not sure how many days they did, but our day was the last they ran. They had over 500 applicants in total, and they were hiring 10 in January, and 10 in March.
There was a teamwork test to begin with. I'm a natural leader, but I don't take over anything, so I shone in that one. We worked together and had fun doing it. Lots of laughs and carrying on in that one.
There was a role play afterwards, and while we were waiting to be called in our little group of 6 discussed our qualifications and experiences, and how we came to be there. Quite a diverse range in terms of what they'd gone for. And the chatting really relaxed me for the role play, so I was nice and calm going in.
Then we had computer testing. Think an internet IQ test. Then we had personality testing on the computer. Just like an internet test as well. I think I did pretty well out of that. I don't have rage issues. I don't think everybody is trustworthy, but you trust anyways. No, I don't have brain cancer.
After that was the interview. I was doing really well. While we waited people came and went. The first in our group was taken to be interviewed. She came back and we swapped numbers to catch up at a later point. They came in and collected the other two girls, so it was me and the two boys left. I nicked out to the bathroom and by the time I got back they'd cleared the room out. All the other tasks had been completed by the other groups, so I just sat around and waited. By myself. For the most mentally challenging part of the day.
I nailed the interview. There was one question I asked to come back to. And at the end of the interview I did. One of the interviewees gave me a bit of a hint and said 'I think she answered it with example X.' Of course I hadn't done that but example X was perfect for that situation, so I was able to adequately answer the question that was very important and would have otherwise been left unanswered.
I feel really good about it. I'm not quietly confident that I'm in. I'm arrogantly confidant.
The Haircut
After I got home I jumped on the net and chatted to he, who shall be known as Hygienically Challenged Man. I'll discuss him in a sec. Then I had a quick shower and headed out. The ends of my hair felt like shit. So I booked in a quick haircut. Quite simple really, take one to two inches off the bottom, layer it from the ears down.
BWAH BAH!!!
Yep. Just over 2 inches shorter. Layers from about a quarter down my ear. It bulges straight out around my forehead and makes my head look boxy! Its an 80's dyke haircut.
It'll look hot as hell when it grows out. But right now its shit. I'm damn glad I didn't get it any closer to new year! Though it'll look hot as by then.
"Hygeinically Challenged Man"
Ahh yes. The highlight of the night. At least, he is for you guys. I found him on findafuck.com a while ago and we've chatted for a bit. Anyway, I thought I needed a celebratory fuck. Turns out I was wrong. I should have just stuck to shoe shopping.
So we 'chatted' for a bit. With the aid of a webcam. On his part, not mine. Then we arranged a meet. I have a standard thing. Meet in public. For drink/quick meal first. Not negotiable.
He didn't want that. He wants to meet at my place. Um. How about no?
Ok. He wants meet on the street outside my place? No to that one too.
Hum. He offers to pick me up and we go for a drive? Oh HELL NO!!!
I tell him straight. We gotta meet somewhere public first. We gotta be seen in public first. Together. I go to get my haircut. He texts me. He'll be late. I tell him I won't meet him past that time. For safety reasons.
He shows up exactly at alloted time. I'm still getting my hair cut so I tell him to park his car, cuz I'm not getting into it. I staunter out when I'm done. No harm in keeping a guy waiting. If he's too impatient he can piss off.
He's still sitting out there in his car. The car I told him to park already. He asks if I want to go for a drive.
Um. No. Park the fucking car in the fucking carpark already. I'm not getting in the fucking thing with someone I just met.
I wait by the entrance for him. He comes and squats by the seat. He doesn't want to sit. He doesn't make eye contact. He's edgy. Conversation is a bit stilted but I put that down to him being horny. I stare at his pants alot.
Right now I'm wondering why I fucked him in the first place. I think if he didn't have a huge cock I wouldn't have bothered. I know that if I had any idea about his hygiene, I would have passed.
So I take him back to my place. We get in and I kiss him as the elevator arrives. And he tastes like mouldy arse. Fuck, his mouth was enough to make a maggot gag. And he was a terrible kisser. He kissed like a cement mixer. Just jammed his lips over my mouth, rotated his head and slobbered, whilst occasionally trying to lick the back of my skull from the front. I actually couldn't wait to transfer my attentions somewhere else, just so I wouldn't have my mouth near that.
We get upstairs and the action begins. I start going down on him and it's worse. Old sweat and stale cum. I pull up and gag. He didn't notice. His fucking eyes were shut. On the pretense of lubricating, I wash it. I get the taste off of it, but not the smell. The smell seems to eminate from his body. I give fantastic head. That's a fact. But this was not one of my better blow jobs. Its hard to be into it when you're nose first in a smell like that. Course its hard to give a damn good blow job when he reaches down and has a bit of a wank every now and again.
Don't even get me started on the hint for me to lick his arsehole. FUCKING GROSS!!!! Just. EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's pushing that puckered up thing at me and all I could see was the hair and a bit of toilet paper. Just a little twist, rolled into it. I physically pulled out of that position and demanded a new one.
Seriously guys. When I'm going to meet someone, I wash first. I make sure that I'm nice and smooth from the neck down. I shave and exfoliate and moisturise. I sure as hell brush my teeth. I put on FRESH underwear and clean clothes. I'm out to have fun and I want to make it a pleasant experience for all involved.
Needless to say, this is the first and last time you'll ever hear about this guy. I hope like hell he doesn't offer a repeat performance.
Afterwards, we had the awkward conversation. He's 30, bartending and living with his mum. What a catch. About the time where I'm normally asking for a second go, I looked over. And I was disappointed. It wasn't Green Eyes lying beside me. Course, if it was Green Eyes, I'd be curled into him, and not disappointed.
I hinted at him to go. He took the hint and I didn't object as he reached for his pants. He bitched about about having to walk a block to his car. And I reminded him that I just fucked him, so he should shut the fuck up. I had shut the door behind him before the elevator arrived.
And yes, as soon as the door was shut I was in the shower. Everything that the tongue touched got a serious wash. Thank Jeebus I never take a guy between the sheets, so the pillow and blanket got tossed aside until they get washed, and the bed is safe.
I had a long day yesterday. I applied for a job last Thursady. Its a cushy government job, with excellent pay and conditions. But it more than that. It actually offers an opportunity to go somewhere and do something interesting in the long run. So for those of you who know what my current job is like... this is very exciting for me!
The Train Ride
Anyhoo. I got an interview yesterday. So I got the day off and trundled into the city, dressed in my best 'business attire'. Which fitted nicely a few months of dieting back. It still looked ok, but I think its time to get a new white shirt that fits a bit better. The pants are shit hot, and they still look good a little loose. Teamed with casual (but hell pretty) flat black shoes, and a denim jacket - just to get me through the rain without my shirt going all see through.
So I'm early to leave. I don't want to be late, so instead I get half an hour to wander around the shopping centre. I opt for breakfast - toasted museli, fruit, natural yoghurt and honey, with a cappuccino. It kills enough time and I head to the train.
On the train it starts pissing down. I'm would up and watching the water in every creek we go over. Its crazy rough. Water usually calms me down but for some reason yesterday it didn't. I'm mentally chewing over the research I'd done the night before; did I put everything in my resume; I still need to get it copied and collated with my academic transcript; where will I do that; I don't remember all the questions that I practiced; how will I work around questions that I can't answer; what will it be like? etc. etc.
About 10 minutes out from my destination and we're pulling into a train station. There are people getting up and moving about. I'm staring out the window when I feel a touch on my shoulder. I glance around and see nobody near me has moved. The person sitting on the outside of me is still. If she touched me, she'd still be moving by the time I look around. There's a guy in the aisle, putting a jacket on. But if he touched me, my neighbour would have looked around or moved. Plus he was looking the other way and putting his jacket on. No way he could have moved away that fast.
Then I smelt it. Nan's perfume.
Nan died eight years ago. My eyes welled up. I looked away and stared out the window. The smell faded. I looked back, thinking maybe it had been an offshoot of my own perfume. I smelt it again. Definitely her perfume. I looked away again, scared I was about to start bawling. The smell faded and I thought I was hallucinating. A third time I looked around, and I caught a whiff of it again. She'd been there with me.
The Interview
The interview went really well. I excel in social and stressful situations. There were 18 applicants in this round. I'm not sure how many days they did, but our day was the last they ran. They had over 500 applicants in total, and they were hiring 10 in January, and 10 in March.
There was a teamwork test to begin with. I'm a natural leader, but I don't take over anything, so I shone in that one. We worked together and had fun doing it. Lots of laughs and carrying on in that one.
There was a role play afterwards, and while we were waiting to be called in our little group of 6 discussed our qualifications and experiences, and how we came to be there. Quite a diverse range in terms of what they'd gone for. And the chatting really relaxed me for the role play, so I was nice and calm going in.
Then we had computer testing. Think an internet IQ test. Then we had personality testing on the computer. Just like an internet test as well. I think I did pretty well out of that. I don't have rage issues. I don't think everybody is trustworthy, but you trust anyways. No, I don't have brain cancer.
After that was the interview. I was doing really well. While we waited people came and went. The first in our group was taken to be interviewed. She came back and we swapped numbers to catch up at a later point. They came in and collected the other two girls, so it was me and the two boys left. I nicked out to the bathroom and by the time I got back they'd cleared the room out. All the other tasks had been completed by the other groups, so I just sat around and waited. By myself. For the most mentally challenging part of the day.
I nailed the interview. There was one question I asked to come back to. And at the end of the interview I did. One of the interviewees gave me a bit of a hint and said 'I think she answered it with example X.' Of course I hadn't done that but example X was perfect for that situation, so I was able to adequately answer the question that was very important and would have otherwise been left unanswered.
I feel really good about it. I'm not quietly confident that I'm in. I'm arrogantly confidant.
The Haircut
After I got home I jumped on the net and chatted to he, who shall be known as Hygienically Challenged Man. I'll discuss him in a sec. Then I had a quick shower and headed out. The ends of my hair felt like shit. So I booked in a quick haircut. Quite simple really, take one to two inches off the bottom, layer it from the ears down.
BWAH BAH!!!
Yep. Just over 2 inches shorter. Layers from about a quarter down my ear. It bulges straight out around my forehead and makes my head look boxy! Its an 80's dyke haircut.
It'll look hot as hell when it grows out. But right now its shit. I'm damn glad I didn't get it any closer to new year! Though it'll look hot as by then.
"Hygeinically Challenged Man"
Ahh yes. The highlight of the night. At least, he is for you guys. I found him on findafuck.com a while ago and we've chatted for a bit. Anyway, I thought I needed a celebratory fuck. Turns out I was wrong. I should have just stuck to shoe shopping.
So we 'chatted' for a bit. With the aid of a webcam. On his part, not mine. Then we arranged a meet. I have a standard thing. Meet in public. For drink/quick meal first. Not negotiable.
He didn't want that. He wants to meet at my place. Um. How about no?
Ok. He wants meet on the street outside my place? No to that one too.
Hum. He offers to pick me up and we go for a drive? Oh HELL NO!!!
I tell him straight. We gotta meet somewhere public first. We gotta be seen in public first. Together. I go to get my haircut. He texts me. He'll be late. I tell him I won't meet him past that time. For safety reasons.
He shows up exactly at alloted time. I'm still getting my hair cut so I tell him to park his car, cuz I'm not getting into it. I staunter out when I'm done. No harm in keeping a guy waiting. If he's too impatient he can piss off.
He's still sitting out there in his car. The car I told him to park already. He asks if I want to go for a drive.
Um. No. Park the fucking car in the fucking carpark already. I'm not getting in the fucking thing with someone I just met.
I wait by the entrance for him. He comes and squats by the seat. He doesn't want to sit. He doesn't make eye contact. He's edgy. Conversation is a bit stilted but I put that down to him being horny. I stare at his pants alot.
Right now I'm wondering why I fucked him in the first place. I think if he didn't have a huge cock I wouldn't have bothered. I know that if I had any idea about his hygiene, I would have passed.
So I take him back to my place. We get in and I kiss him as the elevator arrives. And he tastes like mouldy arse. Fuck, his mouth was enough to make a maggot gag. And he was a terrible kisser. He kissed like a cement mixer. Just jammed his lips over my mouth, rotated his head and slobbered, whilst occasionally trying to lick the back of my skull from the front. I actually couldn't wait to transfer my attentions somewhere else, just so I wouldn't have my mouth near that.
We get upstairs and the action begins. I start going down on him and it's worse. Old sweat and stale cum. I pull up and gag. He didn't notice. His fucking eyes were shut. On the pretense of lubricating, I wash it. I get the taste off of it, but not the smell. The smell seems to eminate from his body. I give fantastic head. That's a fact. But this was not one of my better blow jobs. Its hard to be into it when you're nose first in a smell like that. Course its hard to give a damn good blow job when he reaches down and has a bit of a wank every now and again.
Don't even get me started on the hint for me to lick his arsehole. FUCKING GROSS!!!! Just. EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's pushing that puckered up thing at me and all I could see was the hair and a bit of toilet paper. Just a little twist, rolled into it. I physically pulled out of that position and demanded a new one.
Seriously guys. When I'm going to meet someone, I wash first. I make sure that I'm nice and smooth from the neck down. I shave and exfoliate and moisturise. I sure as hell brush my teeth. I put on FRESH underwear and clean clothes. I'm out to have fun and I want to make it a pleasant experience for all involved.
Needless to say, this is the first and last time you'll ever hear about this guy. I hope like hell he doesn't offer a repeat performance.
Afterwards, we had the awkward conversation. He's 30, bartending and living with his mum. What a catch. About the time where I'm normally asking for a second go, I looked over. And I was disappointed. It wasn't Green Eyes lying beside me. Course, if it was Green Eyes, I'd be curled into him, and not disappointed.
I hinted at him to go. He took the hint and I didn't object as he reached for his pants. He bitched about about having to walk a block to his car. And I reminded him that I just fucked him, so he should shut the fuck up. I had shut the door behind him before the elevator arrived.
And yes, as soon as the door was shut I was in the shower. Everything that the tongue touched got a serious wash. Thank Jeebus I never take a guy between the sheets, so the pillow and blanket got tossed aside until they get washed, and the bed is safe.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
I'm going to see Michael Buble!!!
Now that that's out of the way...
Yes. I am alive. Jeez. I can't beleive I actually got emails from people asking for a new post. Are you guys that sick of the boobs?
I had an absolutely packed weekend. I ended up in Sydney both days. One of my uni mates was down for a physical. So we shopped, and walked, and walked, and ate, and walked, and had coffee, and walked, and had dinner, and walked, and watched fireworks.
I got myself the most kick ass dress for New Year. Even though I still don't actually know what I'm doing, but I'm going to look fantastic. And the good news is that I won't even have to buy shoes cuz I have some already broken in, that would match fantabulously. Hurrah for me!
We walked from central station, to the markets, though Chinatown, up to the Pitt Street mall, around the mall, down to Darling Harbour, around darling Harbour, back to Town Hall station. Caught a train from Town hall to Circular Quay. Walked from Circular Quay to the Rocks for dinner. Walked back to Circular Quay, caught a train to Town Hall, walked to Darling Harbour, around darling harbour (again), and then back to Town Hall where we departed.
For those unfamiliar with the area, here's a map.
And that was all in one day! I went in on Sunday as well had lunch with a guy at bondi. And yes, we went back to his place and shagged like bunnies. Bliss! Then I cruised around Darling Harbour for a few hours. Apparently its the King of Thailand's 80th birthday, so I caught some rays watching the display in the afternoon. Then caught up with the mates from uni and had dinner and got partially ripped on cocktails. Before I said goodbye to them, we went toy shopping. So I have a new vibe too. Lucky me.
OH MI GOD!!! I have 339 blogs to read in my reader. I haven't seriously blogged in nine days!
Better get cracking.
Yes. I am alive. Jeez. I can't beleive I actually got emails from people asking for a new post. Are you guys that sick of the boobs?
I had an absolutely packed weekend. I ended up in Sydney both days. One of my uni mates was down for a physical. So we shopped, and walked, and walked, and ate, and walked, and had coffee, and walked, and had dinner, and walked, and watched fireworks.
I got myself the most kick ass dress for New Year. Even though I still don't actually know what I'm doing, but I'm going to look fantastic. And the good news is that I won't even have to buy shoes cuz I have some already broken in, that would match fantabulously. Hurrah for me!
We walked from central station, to the markets, though Chinatown, up to the Pitt Street mall, around the mall, down to Darling Harbour, around darling Harbour, back to Town Hall station. Caught a train from Town hall to Circular Quay. Walked from Circular Quay to the Rocks for dinner. Walked back to Circular Quay, caught a train to Town Hall, walked to Darling Harbour, around darling harbour (again), and then back to Town Hall where we departed.
For those unfamiliar with the area, here's a map.
And that was all in one day! I went in on Sunday as well had lunch with a guy at bondi. And yes, we went back to his place and shagged like bunnies. Bliss! Then I cruised around Darling Harbour for a few hours. Apparently its the King of Thailand's 80th birthday, so I caught some rays watching the display in the afternoon. Then caught up with the mates from uni and had dinner and got partially ripped on cocktails. Before I said goodbye to them, we went toy shopping. So I have a new vibe too. Lucky me.
OH MI GOD!!! I have 339 blogs to read in my reader. I haven't seriously blogged in nine days!
Better get cracking.
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