Sunday, May 20, 2007

Put down the glue!

Ok. So I'm quite the tard. As anybody who's been reading here for more than four minutes will know.

I cannot play with superglue. For that matter, I can't seem to use it when its not play either. I tend to glue parts of myself to other parts of myself.

I used to have a pet rat. And she had herself a really cool little house that she loved to bits. A little house that I dropped and turned into little bits. So I decided to fix it. I borrowed someone's superglue and set to work repairing my fuzzy babies house.

By the time I had the house together again I was in the following predicament:

My left hand had
  • the tip of the index finger glued to the first knuckle of my middle finger
  • the pad of my ring finger glued to the nail of my little finger
My right hand had
  • the index and middle finger glued together
  • the superglue tube stuck to the pad of my thumb
I may have also had the actual house stuck to my hand. I don't remember.

The look on my dorm mates faces was priceless as I opened someone's door, held both hands in the air and begged 'I need a little help'.

Their laughs as I told them 'don't get that shit on your lips' was equally as priceless. And yes. I did have some on my lips.

If you need further proof of my tardedness, I'll tell you about the time I peed in my shoe.

Oh wait, I already did that!

14 comments:

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

But did you ever pee in your shoe WHILE having pieces of rat houswe glued to your hand?

I shan't be asking for your help in DIY chores.

Chai said...

Photos?

Webmiztris said...

i've been there! I don't think it's possible to superglue stuff WITHOUT getting any on your fingers!

since you typed this, I guess you got it all worked out. :)

Princess of the Universe said...

There's a reason that superglue was invented for triage in the field in war!

And I agree with Webmiz - absolutely impossible to use that stuff without some sort of catastrophe happening!

Cazzie!!! said...

Blahahha, you crack me up . I did glue my hands togethr as a kid, my brother did too, we cired the whole time too, but we were 9 and 10 yrs old thne, LOL.

MissE said...

mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
*ouch*

Major sympathy and empathy, phishez.

I don't even try to mess about with superglue - I know I'd end up with my fingers glued together and then my hands glued to clothing, my face, my hair... not to mention the bits of whatever I'm trying to glue being glued to me. I am a klutz.

we should form a club!

Scorpy said...

We'd make a great team...I get chilli in the eye and you get superglued lol

Chucky said...

Pics or it doesn't count ;)

phishez_rule said...

Ingsoc - No, you need both hands to pee in your shoe

Chai - Sorry, it was a long time ago

Miztris - I can do the 'hunt and peck' typing. V.G for when you're eating something

Princess - yeah, it holds EVERYTHING together. Its worse than duct tape!

Cazzie - I had a mate who's dad glued both of his hands to a workbench with araldyte

MissE- I don't touch it unless the its to save the world. I always try to get someone else to do my gluing

Scorpy - tards of the world unite!

phishez_rule said...

Chucky - paint a picture with your imagination brush :)

Chai said...

Re-creation?

phishez_rule said...

I still have the house. Even though the rat is long gone. Funnily enough its in pieces on my balcony. I'm not stupid enough to try to re-create that one.

mist1 said...

After my last super glue incident, I am banned from using strong adhesives to fix personal toys.

phishez_rule said...

Mist - you should learn girlie, broken toys mean you get to go buy new ones!