Saturday, June 30, 2007


I feel like shit right now. I feel fat and bloated and about nine kinds of hurt. Its the sluts birthday today. And I can't stop thinking about how she betrayed me. Just when I think I'm doing well something like this happens. I fucking hate the whore. There, I said it. I hope she has a fucking miserable day and she thinks of me at least once. I hope she thinks of what she traded me in for and she honestly wonders if it was even worth it. But she's a mindless twit who doesn't have the capacity for original thought.

I went shopping today to try to think of something else. Picked myself up a top pretty easily but had to scour four shops and try on 13 pairs of pants before I found the perfect ones. Normally when you find perfect anything you want to celebrate right? I wanted to cry.

Well happy fucking birthday whore. You don't deserve anything good in life.

Zzxyx Road, Stone Sour
I don't know how else to put this
It's taken me so long to do this
I'm falling asleep and I can't see straight
My muscles feel like a melee
My body's curled in a U-shape
I put on my best but I'm still afraid

Propped up by lies and promises
Saving my place as life forgets
Maybe its time I saw the world

I'm only here for a while
But patience is not my style
And I'm so tired that I gotta go

Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
Did you really think I wouldn't see this through

Tell me I should stick around for you
Tell me I could have it all
I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

I get to go home in one week
But I leaving home in three weeks
They throw me a bone just to pick me dry

I'm following suit and directions
I crawl up inside for protection
I'm told what to do and I don't know why

I'm over existing in limbo
I'm over the myths and placebos
I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to live with my family
I'm ready to die in obscurity
Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go

Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
You still don't think I'm going see this through

Tell me I'm a part of history
Tell me I can have it all
I'm still to tired to care and I gotta go