This was back at uni. I was part of the group that organised activities for the residential halls group, and I had a huge crush on the president of this group since day one. Unfortunately for me, from day six he started having casual sex with the senior resident* from my block. I knew the day after.
Despite this, we'd still flirt and he'd buy me drinks when we went out, and we connected. But every time I was out somewhere and talking to crush boy, the fuckbuddy would magically show up. I know I could have gotten him to leave her if I said anything, but firstly I didn't like the idea of a guy wanting me, but not making an effort to chase me. AND, even though I didn't like the other girl, I didn't dislike her either, and I definitely disliked the idea of 'stealing' him from her. Irritating and complicated much? This went on for about 6 or 8 weeks.
Anyhoo, one holiday period pretty much everybody had gone home. I was the only person in my hall, and crush boy had stayed behind. So we spent a fair bit of time together. We had meals together, bludged together, gossiped together. And I rang him up a few times to take me into town for shopping or to get some decent food. During this period I was also working for the hall. Some external students had come in for their studies, and I got to know some of them pretty well.
One night I was with the externals, sitting around having a few drinks. The hall was beginning to get repopulated as people got sick of their families and returned. I got a call from one of my mates. She was back and wanted to catch up. I traversed back to my hall to see her. Eventually we decided to go back to where the externals were. We had a few drinks with them, before we decided to leave. Between my hall and the externals was crush boys hall. We decided to swing by there. We dropped in on another mate who had recently gotten back and chatted to her for a bit. Then we walked on through to crush boys room.
I busted her lying in his bed. He was studying and was incredibly cranky at being disturbed. I theorize that it was because I had 'just' found out about them, and he realized he would no longer have a chance. I still believe this to be true.
My friend and I took the trip back to our hall. Where we went to the common room. I don't recall if we talked about it or not, but I know that I was really upset and would not have been inclined to delve too deeply. Instead we began playing pool. So I was smashing the balls around at random. One shot I actually lined up carefully and hit it perfectly, but the table sloped and it didn't go in. So I yelled at it. Then she yelled at it. Then I yelled some more.
Pretty soon we were stringing random obscenities together, regardless of whether the shot worked or not. For example
- 'F***er, F***ng F***ed F***er,'
- 'Cr***y A**hole.'
But that was exactly what I needed. Just to get out the anger and the hurt.
I know I was hurt, but beyond that, I don't really remember it. The pool game and my friend are such vivid memories, and the memory is guaranteed to bring a smile to my face.
*The person employed by the hall to maintain peace and order
** They got together officially after that.