So I was just whipping up a quick dinner before I head off to dancing. Chicken in the oven? Check. Veges chopped and "pre-baking" in microwave - cauliflower, pumpkin, sweet potato, carrot? Check.
All set. Excellent. I had a bit of time to kill, so I decided to cut up some whole chicken breast and freeze it. Its a time/money saver to do this when you're single. Anyhoo, all of a sudden, as I'm chopping away, I can smell something... interesting.
Something very personal.
Something that I always hope to god nobody else smells.
I could smell my vibrator drawer.
In my kitchen.
I have to explain that smell right now. Actually, now that I think about it, it would probably be best to have explained what the smell was like earlier. Say at the beginning of the post.
It smells kinda like sex. But obviously only the girl side. Its not as salty and heavy smelling as couple sex. I clean them after use. Obsessively. My toys are clean. Let me reiterate. MY TOYS ARE FUCKING CLEAN. Or maybe I should say 'my fucking toys are clean'. Either way, it amounts to the same thing. The smell isn't strong. In fact, the only time you can smell it is when you've pretty much got your face in there, or just after you open it after its been closed for a very long time (which never happens).
So why the fuck am I smelling it in the kitchen? It was the cauliflower. Microwaved cauliflower smells kinda sweet, and I guess the raw chicken added the fleshy smell. Creepy huh?
I can only imagine the google searches that are going to link to this post.
24 comments:
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Sieg Heil!
LOL!
Well, I guess you must be getting good use out of it, then....
shit phishez, that is one sad revelation...LMAO.
ewwww....You know it never occurred to me to bake veg in the microwave before.
bloody hell that is weird, for one moment there I had thought your cat had dragged a 'toy' out of your drawer and decided to leave it arbitrarily in the kitchen.
Sounds like you have a substantial collection.
Believe it or not, I don't think I've ever seen a real vibrator.
You seem to take a lot of trouble cooking.
I must admit that I would never have linked those smells.
Oh the google searches will come. I was complaining about people searching for vegina and how stupid the spelling was and now I get floods of people searching for "vegina sizes," "hairy vegina," "how to suck vegina," etc. Fun times!
-N
Oh my...
hahaha you're a brave woman! Imagine the freaks in the world that screw vegetables that are now feasting upon your cauliflower.
I probably won't have chicken for dinner tonight.
I may never eat chicken or cauliflower again...lol!
when I first starting reading this, I thought you meant that your vibrator drawar was actually IN YOUR KITCHEN and I was thinking, "Say WHHHAAAT?" lmfao
This has got to be one of the grossest observations I have ever *heard*!
Laughed when I read that variation the placement of fucking. Someday I will know what couple sex smells like. Does it only smell like couple sex if he doesn't wear a condom, because otherwise isn't it contained? I would have to guess that couple sex smells like latex and his antiperspirant.
i'll never look at cauliflower and chicken the same again. so i take it that your secret fetish is smelling your kitchen drawers?
My ex-girlfriend couldn't eat bananas because she said they tasted of lady gardens.
You know, I never thought to ask her how she knew.
Add that to the list of missed opportunities!
have you heard the one about a man's penis smelling like goat cheese?
add THAT one to the recipie books. giddy up!
I don't want to imagine the people who would search for those terms. And neither do you I suspect.
So how did dinner taste? Good I hope.
That's that fuckin' crazy. And I thought I had an odd lil life.
Hope you have a rockin' day.
What do you use to clean your toys with? Ya know, something I might have around the house so I don't have to buy any special toy cleaner. Just a question cause I figured you would know.
Thanks!
Sockpuppet - do you do that crazy salute to keep the sun out of your eyes?
Mr Underhill - One day I'll blog about how I broke one
Cazzie - it was quite creepy.
Oestre - It was a 'prebake'. I was warming them before the real baking began
Sakura - I would die of shame. And I wouldn't put it past her
Ingsoc - I'm pretty sure you'd remember if you'd seen one. And I can be quite the culinary genius when I want to be.
Nick - neither had I
Natalia - I am top of google's search list for 'shitted in her mouth'. My mum would be so proud
me - yep
Ms Smack - nobody's feated on this cauliflower for quite a while
Mist - stick to tuna. That doesn't have a dodgy smell at all
Miztris - well that would be convenient
Prof - you'll never smell cauliflower the same way again
Desi - Its more a pheremone smell I think. Its very distinctive.
Raffi - seems I've turned a simple dish into something sexual
Chris - I have a friend who doesn't eat olives because they taste like the smell of bellybuttons
Bwtty - 'it says to add goat cheese, but I don't have any... here honey, stir this for a bit'
Grunt - there's worse. Check my comment to Natalia
Chucky - yum
Echo - I used to use a special cleaning solution, but now I use a mild first aid disinfectant (dettol), a few drops in a 50ml bottle. When I'm tired I use antibacterial wipes.
What I meant was, I've seen them on TV and in magazines but not for real.
A culinary genius? It seems so. What do your other meals have the aroma of?
Usually food. I made hip loving (low fat, no added sugar) apple pastries last night, loaded with cinnamon. Tasted almost as good as Nan used to make. YUM!
LOL, this is awesome. I don't think I can ever eat cauliflower again without thinking about this, but still... awesome.
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