Apologies

After a big night out there are two things I do as soon as my brain begins to function.

1. See who I rang last night, call them back to apologize
   
2. See who I texted last night, text them an apology
   

It seems I have to now add a third

1. (<== imagine that says '3' right there instead of '1') See who I emailed last night. Cringe.

I had rather a big night. I met the Gay Biotch's boyfriend (for the first time) and we went karaoke-ing. I shall name him the Singer. And I got slightly intoxicated. I started on vodka, lime and sodas. I figured I'd hit 95kg so I'd stick to the not-quite-making-my-hips-hate-me type drinks. After about six of those, I somehow managed to switch to beer. The damn lime-sodas were going down so fast. The kicker is this - each type of alcohol affects me differently.

Vodka perks me up and makes me party. Bourbon cools me down. Tequila makes me take unexpected naps. Rum makes me hug toilets. Cocktails make me flirty and generally gives you a 100% chance of copping an eyeful of cleavage. Beer makes me talk. The more beer, the more inner dark secrets get spilled. If you want to know my life story, buy me two beers and just wait. Its embarrassing. And not something I want to expose people to at first meeting.

Yes, I did sing. I'm a terrible singer. For some reason God chose to endow me with fantastic breasts but no singing voice. I know I can't sing, so I chose 'party songs' like Loveshack, sung as a duet with the Biotch. That was fun. Apparently we were very entertaining. And he dragged me up to crash someone else's song. I thought he was dragging me up for a groove, but he went onto the stage and I just followed.

Anyhoo, as the night progressed, and after I had gone through that 'I love you' stage of intoxication, I started going through my phone. Texting people. Stupid move. Then when I got home I decided it would be a fantastic idea to email all of the bloggers in my email contacts to draw their attention to yesterdays post. *Cringe* For this guys, I'm so sorry. But I did get a kick out of how well written the email was, considering my level of inebriation, and I got a huge kick out of the last line.

"Now if you'll all excuse me, I've been drinking and need to vomit."

I didn't vomit. I ended up eating chips and going to bed.

Oh yeah, before I forget. I was a slammin' hottie last night too.


You can't even see my bingo wings. Huzzah!

But now I look like a vampire. Last nights mascara has smudged. I'm covered in glitter, bloodshot eyes and VERY pale.

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I've just discovered that my Tourettes Pool post was put on the Australian index (search page 1, number 5) as an 'interesting post'. How awesome is that!