Saturday, July 28, 2007

Reclaim my day?

Reclaim my day. Thats what I was told. And that was what I had planned to do. A nice quiet day with friends. Shopping, lunch and catching the Simpsons in gold class. Sounds like fun huh? Well its not the greatest celebration but I was really looking forward to it.

Until the lunch date didn't get back to me. That left me, the Gay Biotch, and his boyfriend (the singer). I got a call from the biotch early on. I told him I'd be at westfield and I'd let him know just as I was leaving. Which I did. I didn't hear back from him but I assumed he was getting ready and I wasn't really worried. I go up to the cinema after about an hour to pick up tickets. I call him. His phone is switched off.

I leave the cinema without tickets. And wander round the shopping centre for another hour or so. I try calling again. Phone still off. At this point the message is crystal fucking clear. They're not coming. I head down to the food court and grab something to eat. I head home and turn on Greys Anatomy. My phone rings. Its the biotch. He had fallen asleep waiting for me to call... with his phone turned off. He can't make it to the screening tonight because he's heading of to karaoke. Do I want to catch it with him tomorrow? I'm most likely spending tomorrow afternoon with Green Eyes.

So here I am. 4:55 on my birthday. The one that was supposed to be better than the last four. I feel sick and tired. I'm alone and lonely. I want to go home but I'm already there and so I'm confused. I want to do something special but there's nothing thats really special that you can do by yourself. I will catch the Simpsons tonight. By myself. I will start the next year of my life being as sad, pathetic and lonely as I've always been. Nothing will change.

So here it is. Happy fucking birthday to me. Its been a fucking fantabulous day. NOT. The world is full of arseholes and you can all go fuck yourselves. I'm going to get pissed.


itelli said...

U r too far to send u an actual present. So here's Happy Birthday 10-fold.

Happy birthday 1!

Happy birthday 2!

Happy birthday 3!

Happy birthday 4!

Happy birthday 5!

Happy birthday 6!

Happy birthday 7!

Happy birthday 8!

Happy birthday 9!

Happy birthday 10!

If u likey, u might want to watch his "Bewilderness" act - turn ur mobile off, sit back, relax and enjoy. If things don't happen, it's because better things are on their way. That's my wish for u on ur birthday. All the best beautiful!

MissE said...

I know it's nothing on having people around to help you celebrate but


And for the record, whilst I have only met you through the wonderful world of the blog, you do not strike me as at all pathetic.

There's nothing wrong with the sad and lonely moments, just don't let them consume you.

Hmmm, enough of my ten cents - I hope your year surprises you by being a wonderful one.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

So sorry you are alone today, I'd have took you for a drink, but it's a bit far to go...

Hope we're not ALL arseholes!
We may only be linked commentors, but we do care!

Josh said...

Happy Birthday Phishez! Maybe you're just getting all the suck out of the way up front, and the rest of the coming year will be awesome.

Sumiko said...

happy birthday!
sad to hear that things didn't go as planned. maybe you are feeling sad, pathetic and lonely, but that doesn't mean that nothing is going to change!!! sure the year didn't get off to the best start but a change can be the best belated birthday gift you can give to yourself. the first step is to realize that sadness is temporary, pathetic is what you've labelled yourself as, not what other people think, and you're only lonely if you tell yourself you're lonely. maybe you feel lonely now but that too is temporary. i sure don't think you're pathetic at all. i think you're smart, funny, honest, and kind. you're patient and persevering when it comes to love, and those are great qualities! you have many regular readers; who would want to read a pathetic blog? things will change! it doesn't have to happen on your birthday... it can start any day of the year. so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (or maybe belated birthday now, as i'm sure it's the 29th over there). but either way i wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

Well I really fancy you anyway - and I would have given you a tasty birthday treat.... How about a shag to cheer you up?

Chai said...

Happy Birthday!

Sorry to hear of saga but things will get better. I can just feel it in my ancient bones.

AdventuringJen said...

Happy Birthday for yesterday, I hope something turned up in the evening to improve the day.
Sorry to hear about the birthday history and all of that. You come across as one heck of a strong woman, I am sure things will change.

Princess Banter said...

Happyyyyyyy birthday, my dear! I swear to god, if I were there, we will get drunk on margaritas and tequila -- screw everyone else! I'm so surprised you didn't blow your lid off that biotch dude. I so totally would! I only hate 3 things in this world: cockroaches, waking up early and waiting! I really hate it when people make me wait -- and when people have no respect for time and punctuality. You're better off without those people babe... n tell them to come up with better lies and excuses next time.

nailpolishblues said...

It's always the way with birthdays and New Year's Eve - you plan a great/good/okay night and you end up having a shit one. Personally, the only think I plan these days is on being sufficiently close to quite a lot of alcohol.
I won't wish you a happy birthday as it was clearly a bit of a shit one but I do hope the year improves and that those cunts realise that you're worth a lot more than the crap treatment they think it's okay to dish out.
Hope you got yourself drunk good and proper and made it clear to them that you're really not impressed.

Mel said...

Sounds like your friends take you somewhat for granted? You seem like the type of girl who would go to a lot of effort for others, so it must be really disappointing that they aren't prepared to do the same for you. I hope the alcohol sufficiently numbed the pain, if only momentarily, and you found some bright spark to salvage the weekend.

Anonymous said...

hee hee loving the last paragraph! happy birthday x

phishez_rule said...

Itelli - he's a funny farker. Thanks. I needed that.

MissE - nobody should have sad and lonely moments on their day.

Ingsoc - Yep. Everybody's an arsehole. Its like the 'men are cunts' statement. It applies to everybody with alarming regularity. Even if it doesn't apply right now.

Josh - By that reasoning I should have gotten all of the suck out of my life.

Sumiko - I'm still trying to figure out why people would read my blog.

Mutley - I'm sure it would have made me smile. You're a bit far away but you can send me a pack of batteries if you want.

Chai - I'll let you know when it happens. Don't hold your breath.

Jen - I keep waiting, but that doesn't happen. I try, and that doesn't happen either.

Princess B - I love margaritas.

Nails - I think that your plan is a damn good one.

Mel - Disappointing? Try devastating.

Tom - Rants are always appreciated.


Pretend tomorrow is your birthday when you go out with green eyes.

Steph said...

Happy belated birthday my sweet. I'm sorry it didn't turn out exactly as you planned but I hope you got good and pissed anyway. xx

fingers said...

Hey, I don't remember promising to do anything on your birthday, so quit calling me a cunt.
As for this 'gay biotch', even if he fell asleep with his phone turned off, why did he scrub your birthday trip to the movies for a night of karaoke in the meantime ??
There's your serial cunt...

phishez_rule said...

Uber - yeah, didn't happen

Steph - pissed is always good.

Fingers - I called you an arsehole. Not a cunt.

africafreeman81 said...

phishez try not being so over dramatic with your life, your arrogance and boastfulness is just self therapy being ordinary is not pathetic or sad being hugely idealistic and self deluded is, and please stop overcompensating your feministic views because of your lack of a love life, clinging onto any reaction from the opposite sex and over calculating something that’s not really there doesn’t mean its true it just means your incredibly self manipulative remember a pathetic person won’t say there face is pretty they just exaggerate there breast or some minor part which is taken out of context, making that effort is brave since some have enough self dignity to just be honest.

honkeie2 said...

I tend to never put too much hope in other people and what they say they are going to do. Always have back up plans when going out with ppl.
I am my own bestfriend, so if shit happenes I can always go to the bar and have a drink with myself. And hell I am on cheap date lol