Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Whys of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
because they are plugged into a genius
2. WHY DON'T MEN BLINK DURING SEX?
they don't have enough time
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
they don't stop to ask directions

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

you need a rough draft before you make a final copy

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

don't know....it never happened

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

because a vibrator can't mow the lawn

I could have cut that short and just put the last question in. Of course, thats my fave. I've been baking. I'm off to ice cakes and do dishes. I'd rather be having sex.

12 comments:

Kelly said...

LOL... I needed a good laugh today. Loved it. :-)

Natalia said...

Loves it! :)

-N

Echo said...

#4 - that's gross but it's hilarious. Bake some cupcakes for me too.

Betty Boob Hug said...

I'd rather be baking cupcakes and pashing somebody. Icing and having sex is too messy.

Pie said...

I dread the day when they combine one of those robot lawnmowers with a vibrator, I may as well pack my bags.

phishez_rule said...

Kelly - glad you enjoyed it.

Natalia - thats great

Echo - but funny

Betty - yeah but tis so worth it

Pie - I think we'll wait a bit before we apply vibrators to things with blades.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Don't worry Phish, you will.
It is just beyond the laws of probability that a girl of your quality will be without for too much longer.

UBERMOUTH said...

LOL That reminds me of my Why Are Cukes Better thanmen? Good post Phishez

Trundling Grunt said...

I'd like to be really offended by them, but you're right - they can't mow the lawn.

Josh said...

Man, if someone ever invents a vibrator that includes a GPS and a lawn-mowing attachment, the male sex is doomed.

phishez_rule said...

Ingsoc - I've gone without for two years before.

Uber - I want to see that post.

Grunt - most guys love them and aren't offended at all.

Josh - Well, it would make masturbating more efficient (more right 3 mm) but more noisy too.

honkeie2 said...

haha, but I do not suffer from #2. Unless its the sex right before work, but normaly my sessions last until she gets her cookies first.