Friday, April 13, 2007

CDB

Ok. I'm jumping the gun a bit here but I need to get something out of my head.

I've recently started texting cute dancer boy again.

*insert backstory here*

A few months ago I had arranged to catch up with one of the guys at dancing that I really liked. His schedule and my schedule (for what it was back then) didn't correlate. Every time we put it off we added something extra to it to sweeten the deal. We ended up arranging to out for coffee, dinner and a movie. On the night when we were to finally meet up, he texted me to say he was still at uni and he'd be a bit late. Then he rang 20 minutes after we were supposed to meet, and cancelled. I saw him once since then and it was as awkward as ass.

I haven't seen or spoken to him since.

*continuing on*

So I started texting him again. I don't have quite the same attitude to him as I did before, but I do still like him. I think the shift has been because we haven't seen or spoken to each other in quite a while. He'd be perfect to have as a f*ckbuddy. He still has his busybusy schedule, and I am still fiercely independent. But I won't know until we see each other next week.

But I feel guilty. I am in love with someone else. Someone who I think loves me too. But we cannot be together because we are apart. I dreamt of him last night. A sex dream. And god was it good.

So I can be sexually frustrated or I can be true to myself.

And being sexually frustrated isn't being true to me.

6 comments:

Me said...

Txting/IMing/Whatevering sure makes the transisiton easier, doesn't it? ;)

I think we need to hear more about the guy you're in love with--when and if you're ready, of course.

phishez_rule said...

I think he might read here. So you won't be hearing about him any time soon.

Steph said...

Wow, talk about complicated!
I have no advice. Just do whatever makes you happy. ((hugs))

apositivepessimist said...

you've just answered yerself.

sometimes I wish the term "fuckbuddy" was a reality when I was a wee lass.

Josh said...

As Joseph Campbell would say dear Phishez, follow your bliss.

Professor said...

Texting doesn't have to lead to sex and who knows what sort of connection you'll have when you see each other.

lately i have become a firm believer in true to heart and self rather than doing anything else. my thoughts for what they're worth.