I can recite the whole of the sorting hat's song from the first Harry Potter.
You know its time for you to change your contacts when you rub your face and one of them simply falls out.
Married Man doesn't wear a wedding ring.
Talking to the secretary at work today and she wished me a happy Easter, and hoped that the Easter bunny would visit me. I commented that I already had gotten some Easter presents. And she said 'no, I hope the real Easter bunny comes to visit you, a six foot tall one.' To which I replied 'at the moment I'd settle for an eight inch battery operated one!'
Its said that the first sign of insanity is talking to yourself. I already do that. And reply. I pose the question 'if that is the first sign, then what number would you allocate to waking up at 3:06am, staring at the clock for 10 minutes singing 'ooh eee, ooh aah aah'?'