Remember the Red Light

As requested, the story of the Red Light.

I was drunk. There was a red light.

The end.





Actually there's a bit more to it than that.

I was out drinking one night with a mate of mine (hi Tam'ra) at the uni pub. And we were suitably blotto. Probably covered in the labels from every bottle we'd consumed that night. It was our thing.

After a big night of drunken debauchry and dancing, we finally got kicked out at closing time. Its nothing really to brag about. It was a small campus and the pub closed around 1 or 2. So we did our stagger home.

And by 'home' I mean the dorms, which were packed full of people trying to study and/or sleep. And probably a few getting off. Possibly with others. Which is what I'd personally rather be doing right now.

There were three dorms. Mine was in the middle and hers was a hike further on. We got to the first dorm and we could see a red flashing light out the front of my hall. At first we thought it was campus security. Then we realised it was on top of some big stinky machine at the front of my hall. And so began the jokes. Apparently my hall had turned into some kind of on-and-off brothel.

As we got closer I realised that the light was irritating me. And in our drunken infinite wisdom, we decided to steal the light. Now the actual stealing bit was left up to Tamra, as she's taller than I am. I stood there laughing and egging her on. And while she was stealing it I remembered some line of Eddy Murphy's. It was from Delerium or Raw. I don't remember which. But it was something about cops in San Fransisco not needing sirens. How they had a real faggot on the roof of the patrol car going 'woo-woo-oo'.

Well we thought that was hilarious. And so we started yelling 'woo-woo' to each other.

And we started running through the halls of our dorms, waving the red light and yelling 'woo-woo'. I think we might have even knocked on peoples doors and made them actually open up so we could (very proudly) tell them we had a red light.

I don't remember how that night ended. But everyone was really shitty at us the next day.