I just did it. I just rang the other girl involved. And I told her that I was having serious difficulty accepting what happened. And as long as he was going to be a part of her life. I couldn't be part of hers.
She doesn't want to accept it. She said thats not a good enough excuse. So I told her how the last few days have been for me. The drinking, lack of sleep and desire to play with razor blades. I've stopped eating. I've lost three kilograms in two days.
I apologised. I told her that I'm not strong enough to do this. Not strong enough to be the bigger person. I wished her luck with everything. And I said goodbye. The tears were on both sides. We have been through so much together.
Deep down I want her to realise her mistake and pick me. But I don't think she will.