Monday, April 23, 2007

Google searches

I just went through my sitemeter page. Holy fuck, people search the weirdest things.

For instance...

"can turtles breathe out there butt". I personally ask this because this person must be so ignorant. No. Turtles cannot breathe out there butt. They can breathe out THEIR butt. Apparently. I found it on the internet thus it must be true.

"late girl asked santa claus but dead now nasa". Yep. I understand that one.

"I'm in love with a married man". Well unless he's your husband you're a fool. Going along with this is "How to be friends with a married man". Uhh, I'd say its pretty much the same as being friends with anybody else.

And my personal favourite

"arse raped by the boss". Not even going there.

17 comments:

Michelle said...

Nice visitors you've got yourself there! People are such nutters, aren't they. What always makes me wonder is... ok, they searched for that weird thing. But how, exactly, did that bring them here?!

But remember, you must pay attention to your 'yours' as well as your 'theirs' m'dear. You're a fool, not your a fool. *winks*

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Yeah, folks do make strange searches. You may try another weird thing: I have an on-going Google link for my name. Wow! Some of the results are awesome.

itelli said...

Hahaha. I love it how it's "THEIR butt" yet "unless he's your husband, your a fool".

Just teasing. I mean u've seen my level of english, so...

phishez_rule said...

Michelle - "There" and "their" have COMPLETELY different meanings. One is directionally oriented and the other is a possessive. "You're" and "your" are similar - "You are" as opposed to "you own".

Nick - how would I go about getting one of those?

Itelli - Haha. I have no idea what you're talking about. *cough*postpublishedit*cough*

Cazzie!!! said...

Dunno what the sitemetre thing is, dunno if I wanna know it now, LOL.

Professor said...

sometimes I think it's creepy to see how people found my blog... weirdos out there....

Professor said...

Oh and the there/ their/ they're... thanks for the correction and as an English teacher... I'm not even going THERE!

Webmiztris said...

I always wonder what these people are looking for too. lol I always get people searching for 'sister-in-law sex'. WTF???

zen wizard said...

"late girl asked santa claus but dead now nasa"--

I think Dutch Schultz made more sense on his death bed.

Desirea Madison said...

How can I be friends with an unmarried man without believing the line from When Harry met Sally?

Trundling Grunt said...

I have to admit no-one has ever searched for the last one on my site. And I am now insanely jealous.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Oops, I think I ended up at the wrong place. I was searching for information on two-eyed click beetles. Sorry.

Steph said...

I skim the google searches these days. It's all together too disturbing.

mist1 said...

Turtles can totally breathe out of their butts. I have a relaxation CD that encourages me to breathe via various parts of my body like my finger tips and stuff. If the turtle is in therapy, chances are, it has practiced some kind of anal breathing.

phishez_rule said...

Cazzie - its entertaining sometimes.

Prof - I had a scary old teacher in year three who drilled it into us.

Miztris - Sis-in-law sex? some people are twisted.

Zen - I think its a riddle of some type.

Desi - its easy to just stay friends with ANY guy. Just remember they're all scum

JR - Give me long enough and I'm sure I'll post some info for you

Steph - I'd be afraid to look at the referral pages to your blog.

Mist - I can do lots of things out of my butt. But not breathing. And by 'lots of things' I mean poo.

Grunt - well now you just have to put that phrase up there so that you can't say that anymore

rchmura said...

A tip you mind find useful: GoStats is a great system for collecting and storing your search phrases. (with a much longer memory than sitemeter too).
-I don't think GoStats can breath out it's butt though... too bad :(

Josh said...

I use StatCounter and have seen some interesting searches as well. Most people apparently come to my blog looking for pictures of (and stories about) gay sex. Who knew?