Saturday, August 11, 2007

The Roach in the Shower

Thank God for that roach. I had me some serious blogstipation that needed a blaxative. And that roach was the blaxative of the week.

I was sitting here, minding my blogs like a sad, socially deprived biach should, when my housemate comes home. We have a quick discussion about what to do for dinner (she's going out) and she heads in to the shower. I can hear her talking, and assume that one of the cats are in there with her. Then I hear her call my name. I wander in to see whats up, thinking that maybe one of the cats has vomited and she wants me to clean it up.

As I wander in, she comes out, all of a tither. I ask whats up and she whinges, 'there a roach in the shower, and its stuck!' Ok. My shower is pretty bad, but the mould isn't thick enough to bog a roach. Unless its in the far corner and I'm not going near that bit.

I soon see what she means. The roach is indeed stuck in between tow of the sliding glass doors. She's sprayed it, so its pretty out of it. She tells me that she's tried opening the door and pushing it out through the gap but it made a crunchy type noise and she couldn't do it.

I grabbed a bit of toilet paper (cuz I wasn't touching it) and dragged it half out. Then sprayed it, because trying to hold a twitching roach is one of the most disgusting things you can do. When I went to grab it again, it fell down. And framed between the runners of the shower door I saw this:


How disgusting are roaches? I generally have respect for life. But that looks very alien and its nothing that I want to touch. I picked it up with about 2cm thickness of toilet paper, and took it away. All while my housemate was flipping out behind me.

I googled the image and as I was typing google put up some suggestions. Cockroach facts was one of them. I read it as cockroach farts. I can just imagine a roach running along the edge of a bench somewhere, letting off a little green gas cloud.

*****

I've eaten 3/4 of a cake today. And thats about all. Granted, it wasn't a really large cake, but my god its an effort to get all of that in. You don't get up to being a size 24/26 without serious commitment. My diet is shot to hell these last few days. I'll be back on the boat tomorrow.

11 comments:

UBERMOUTH said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
UBERMOUTH said...

Phishez- That last comment was me( typos).I used to be heavier butyou know it is really very easy to lose weight.Only the mind frame needs to change.Then all is possible- except quitting smoking.
Daily exercise for an hour is a must too but other than that it falls off much quicker than one expects. :)

yrautca said...

LOL. funny post.

Professor said...

Roaches... OMG! I thought rattlesnakes and spiders were bad but that has.got.to.be.the.worst. OMG- you are so brave....

and I want cake!

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Do you want to know a useless bit of trivia.
The term 'Roach', as used for the bit of card you stcick in the end of a joint actually comes from the Mexican song, 'La Cucaracha', which is basicaaly about a cockroach who wants a smoke.

Josh said...

At least you didn't wake up with it in bed with you...

phishez_rule said...

Uber - I know about losing weight. 15kg since april

Y -

Prof - they's just really gross, not dangerous. I ended up throwing out the rest of the cake to remove temptation.

Ingsoc - I knew about the song, but I've never heard that term applied to a joint.

Josh - I dread the day my cats play with roaches. Cuz I know that will happen.

fingers said...

The poor fucking roach was probably just trying to take a shower and wash off the filth it had endured in your rancid apartment.
Clean your shower stall you dirthy byatch...

phishez_rule said...

I leave the shower cleaning to my roomie. I clean every other bloody surface in the place. In fact, you can almost see your reflection in the fridge door.

honkeie2 said...

I hate bugs! Killem all!
But on a lighter note...nothing wrong with a 24/26, love to see it someday ;-P

phishez_rule said...

Honk - not that big anymore. Now a 16/18